bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135461
 01.11.2016
xxx: I watched three dozen videos about making cheese at home, and I will never buy home cheese from anyone.
YYY: The main thing is that it tastes good and there is nothing after that. The process of production of anything is always a little appetizing spectacle. Take the kids :)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №135460
 01.11.2016
Chat young moms, discussed photo of a beautiful daughter in a ball suit:
xxx: what a lovely lady (even in gloves) only that is not gloves is called, but how? I am confused)
yyy: memories if the memory does not change
Aaa, if it were so ?
BB: It’s about something else :D

<<< cut out all sorts of crying to tears smiley>>>

YYY: Yes, you’re okay, I’m just crazy)))) But they’re called that anyway!
AAA: Yes, they are called customs!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135459
 01.11.2016
As a typical introvert, I believe that mailboxes are necessary for two strangers entering the entrance together to break up - one went for the mail, pretending that there is a mega important correspondence waiting for him, instead of staying alone in the elevator with another... a poor man who breathes lightly, realizing, in turn, that he will go alone.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №135458
 01.11.2016
Andrei UFO (31.10.2016 11:26):
Lost the body?

PHV (31.10.2016 16:04):
Yes, if I lost... then I would just restore... The driver of the past collected credits, indicating the phone office, then resigned, began to call all kinds of officers with collectors on this phone. They decided without my knowledge (I was in Krasnodar) to change his number for a new one without replacing the SIM card, so as not to buy a new driver.. Do you imagine?! The Director! You can get rid of laughter... And I have the bank-clients of the whole office attached to it, not to mention the whole of my life...

PHV (31.10.2016 16:05):
And that's not all.. we moved from MTS to Bilein with the preservation of numbers, so in Bilein they say - contact the MTS - it's their number.. in MTS they say this number on the contract with another operator, go there..

PHV (31.10.2016 16:06):
Whoever would have told another would have roared over the poor.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135457
 01.11.2016
I sit and read a book and my husband asks:
What are you reading?
Psychology and Cats. About family relationships.
Husband : What?? to


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135456
 01.11.2016
In fact, all unmarried women are divided into two types - still unresolved and already abandoned by someone.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135455
 01.11.2016
My wife is from Uzbekistan, I am from Siberia.

We discuss the interior design, the picture depicts a room with a bright pink wall. The wife observes this:
“I think it would be better to have a grenade color here.”
I shake my brains for a moment and say:
“Do you mean brown?”

Being determines consciousness.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135454
 01.11.2016
We all know that Clinton will win the US elections. Because the Negro they have already tried, now you have to take the risk with the Grandma.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135453
 01.11.2016
xxx: I connected the phone to the comp, there was a message: "This device can work faster"
I thought about myself: This device could still fly if it didn’t work faster.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135452
 01.11.2016
In order to cover up its economic insolvency, the state is actively dealing with the issues of morality and morality of its citizens.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135451
 01.11.2016
The rules in Feng Shui are simple. If something is not seen, it is not. If something is pleasant, it is good. If something interferes, it must be removed or hidden. by P.1)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135450
 01.11.2016
We live in a new apartment, today my husband bought a yershyk, we called him Akaki, and he will live with us.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135449
 01.11.2016
Picabu, discuss a photo with a huge spider on the wall.

groovik posted 3 hours ago
When you live in Thailand or Bali, you just stop being surprised by such things. You take a shower and wait for who you see this morning. But all these are harmless creatures, unless you touch them.

air007 posted 3 hours ago
And how do I not touch them when I take a shower? Go to the toilet! I went in, saw, and seemingly no need to go to the toilet, need to shower now, and there it is, that again to the toilet it is necessary, a closed circle of some ept xD

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №135448
 01.11.2016
The answer to the old question - why the wolf voices on the moon, it turns out, in translation from the wolf, it sounds like this:
"What are you doing? What are you sweating?and "
:D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135447
 01.11.2016
<ks> fear of adulthood
<ks> you joke in the toilet, the toilet got stuck, and a column of colleagues gathered around it who need to.
<ks> and they are
<ks> DYME
<ks> How can you fuck?
<ks> We Trust You
<ks> and you’ve got it all.
<ks> You have been fooled
<necro> still on the phone
<ks> and the finger pointing
<necro> and grandmother old cleaner looks with reproach
<necro> and the boss comes - so here is what you have

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135446
 01.11.2016
British scientists have introduced a robot-eater that digests organic matter.

Congratulations to the robots! Eat all the people!


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №135445
 01.11.2016
These gentlemen have their complexes! A man feels like a man to no less extent from whether the place was ceded to him (a young man is also a normal girl will ced if he, for example, in a plaster or with a truss), pulled into the bags (from the sick back no gender and no age is insured, and men's youth is even more traumatic) or from the fact that if the girl invited him to a movie or a cafe, the girl paid for everything there (because a normal girl to invite on the terms of "and let you feed me" in the head will not come, again, to be in the "prepaid period" or just suddenly lay out, the refrigerator broke! " can a man of any sex and nothing shameful here).
Those who begin to hysterize and doubt their masculinity because of such a figured, either do not respect the girl, or are unable to really express courage in something, here they play the pottery.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135444
 01.11.2016
X: You have a book on the table on the photo with the inscription diary, is this a diarrhea combat textbook?
Y: No, this is a textbook about calling diarrhea to people who don’t understand English but think they’re smart enough to make assumptions based on Russian words, and too lazy to use Google Translate.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135443
 01.11.2016
I went to the store, usually throwing rubbish on the road. I fed cats, I had meat waste and a pack of cheese (delayed for a couple of days). I laid out the meat and forgot to unpack the cheese at home, it was in a packaged package. I stand and try to break my teeth. A couple passes by, and the girl loudly says to the guy, "Fuck, look, she is eating something there!"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №135442
 01.11.2016
Suddenly the idea came to check whether the desire to become a programmer would disappear if I shaved my beard.
To you, the testers are a straight path!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna