From the program description on the website tnt: "Larisa lives in Voronezh. But even this fact does not make her life unhappy."

...
XXX: Fuck how tired I am, you can’t imagine!
Did you build the ark? No to No!

The longest jokes go to the nearest.

A good friend of mine from Ukraine told me a story. He works as a surgeon in the reception. More precisely, there were three surgeons on the shift, but on this day one was taken urgently to the department, and the other got into something and fell under the dropper. This is an unlucky day. They promised to give a replacement, but... gave some young inexperienced torsionist. And that well.

And according to the law, you know what, it went. Two accidents, a knife and a fall from a height. Four heavy three-hour cavity operations, not something to rest and have lunch - a cup of coffee between changing clothes and washing, and then second-hand.
After completing the shift, the surgeon went out in a state close to trance. The eyes do not see, the feet do not walk, the head does not think. Go home and sleep. But first go to the cafe and eat something.

On the machine cleaned the plate (what did you order? Kill me, I don’t remember! The surgeon was removed from the trance by the owner of the cafe.
You had a tough day, right? A lot of operations, right? Drink a hundred cognac, relax, lunch at the expense of the establishment, a taxi I called you...
The surgeon recovered.
“Well, I’m a surgeon... and it’s been a tough day... What, so noticeable?
Yes to Doctor. When you ate, you said to the waitress, “I’ve finished. Count the tools and sew them.” You are from the reception, right? I’ve been on the speedway for six years, I’ve seen this.

The Doctors! If there is justice in the universe, there is a separate VIP paradise for doctors.

There are a lot of stupid people in the world today. Because smart people use condoms.

We went yesterday to the city.We have a veteran-"double",accepting something will stumble, it doesn’t start.In the city something didn’t start,husband with the eldest son started with a push, a kind person joined.I and the other children are standing on the side.They run, push the car, she is silent.They ran so 90 meters,I look,the man with his hand shrugged, the little ones cut off and went to his dear son, also to me,the husband is standing near the car with some strange expression of the face.I approached him, I say, something broke the car?"He:"imagines, forgot to turn the key.

The chair broke. There was a pen in the closet. The microwave should be replaced. Close the gaps after changing the door.
You prepare everything you need, I will do it later.
It lasted two weeks, and then I did it all by myself. Another two weeks passed.
Did you find me a screwdriver and a spatula? And the vinyls? And the cable?
Head of IT department. There is no need for family life.

Yesterday I got a phone call of an extremely drunk guy shouting "Sandy!!I thought a little and told him it wasn’t Sanya. He asked "and who?" very surprised. I asked "and whom did you call, dear?" He sadly said "Tatiana" and turned off.c) by Matilda

Yaya: smooth freshly shaved legs after a day are already clinging to the socks. 10 minutes before sex, I would like to think about sex, not about the perfection of my legs.
If you think of perfection, there will be no sex at all.
Tagged: logical
To shave or not to shave, that is the question.
It is Bgg)))

AlexanderSP:...and the ass is a friend of difficult mistakes...

"Trolls are increasing visibility of [news sites]"

Leon_Z: Ah... Where is Borja Shmul? By 300 and more comments raised... Rich power was a troll :)

Plus she gets it! A unique, apolitical, non-educational and, miraculously, funny quote!

Just try not to feed your cat with food, even expensive. Boil her eggs, boil the fish, boil some meat there (not sausage or sausage, of course), so that she would continue to be healthy and happy.
You just showed me how heroic I am eating.

From the news:
"First aircraft of the Russian Air Force flew to Guinea to fight Ebola"
The doctors failed?

The situation in the citation

Four Zen students, and close friends, promised each other to keep silence in order to deepen their meditation. The first day was silent. Their meditation began favorably, but when the night came and the petroleum lamps became very dull, one of the disciples could not hold back and shouted to the servant:
Repair these lamps.
The second disciple was surprised when he heard the first spoke.
We agreed not to say a word, he said.
You, Bollywood, what are you talking about? I asked the third.
I am silent, the fourth.

Roman: a friend paid attention to the fact that the hryvnia most often stabilized to the dollar on the numbers of Fibonacci - 2, 3, 5, 8, 13. The forecast is 21 :)

XXX: A great shirt, by the way.
YYY: Who doesn’t think of making a party like this? I would buy a couple.
Zzz: To make two mistakes in the word “no one” at once, it has to be tried.

>What right do you generally have to make a comment to someone else?

They swim. The most immediate. If the parents have not instilled the rules of behavior in society on someone in disregard or intentionally since childhood, then the rest of the members of society will have to do so later, and not shyly shut their eyes or shyly turn away, because they do not have the right to make a comment, encouraging all kinds of shamelessness and unculture.

Correspondence with classmates
My 12-year-old grandson doubted that there are modern families with seven children. I had to show you photos of your family. This photo he commented on as follows: "Probably, their mother has a subscription in the nursery...".
The literary gift of the grandson is clearly from the grandmother!
UUU: However, this is not the most curious comment on our family... the most emotional was the phrase "cool - six children! " (then still) - repeated for 4.5 minutes (I noticed). And it was an eight-year-old girl in a music school, where my five students are studying... violin, forgive God...

Listen, well, at least you get somewhat more funny, or it's boring to read.