bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120473
 11.11.2015
Looking at the system requirements of the fourth fall, he said to himself: “Well, Naher, I’d better play twice in the second.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120472
 11.11.2015
Yahoo777: Hello to you! My name is Anastasia! I am 20 years old. I want dating, communication, relationships, sex... I rarely come here.

Quietly: I called, I got 1000 rubles!!!! to
i8087: I was called as a smart person from the city and I was discharged from my annual check in math for 1981.
Quietly: I am very funny
i8087: I am laughing. I wrote it for a couple.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120471
 11.11.2015
The main thing is that under the USSR people had confidence in tomorrow.
Where is the USSR?

Zzzz: The bottom of today...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120470
 11.11.2015
From the Onliner (discussion of the Minsk Observatory):

Olesya17: This is how we are waiting for tourists, and conditions are not even normal for my own, I will not go there with the baby not naked!

rite4all: Lovely Olesya! Naked is not just there, but nowhere, except in the bathroom. For walking "naked" in public places, we have an administrative responsibility. Do not thank

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120469
 11.11.2015
The people, whether they have the right to vote or not, can always be forced to obey their leaders. It is not difficult. One thing is required – to declare to the people that their country has been attacked, accusing all the supporters of the world of lack of patriotism and that they are putting the Motherland in danger. It is the same in every country."
by Herman Göring. in 1946 )

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120468
 11.11.2015
From my childhood – we in the upper classes were on duty at the school on changes – we kept the order. And here, someday such a day of duty coincided with the lesson of OBŽ, where we were taught to make bandages. tk. We did not have time for one lesson, then we were allowed not to exhaust what we have already done and wait in this form. In this change:
7th grade boys opened the door to the office, and she fell out :shock:
At this time in the neighboring corridor a six-grade boy (a very difficult teenager) beat an eight-grade boy.
Five kids were smoking in the toilet and they were struck by the sound, after which they with cigarettes ran away from her through the whole school, and she followed them with screams" I 11th grade after school smokes, and you.... :evil: "
The commission came to the school and caught up with all this mess and overwhelmed as mummies: oops: o
Our beautiful lady was deprived of the prize that month and we were on guard for two weeks.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120467
 11.11.2015
xxx: "I’m not the girl who’ll watch the series with you. I’m the girl who’ll watch gay porn with you. Then the article would be more interesting.

yyy: Stronger than "I’m the girl who will watch football with you".)

Yyy: Although when we talk about our football, it’s the same thing.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120466
 11.11.2015
Sam258: When I go home from work on foot, I feel like somewhere in the traffic jamming on the unshaken face of the router flows a bunch of tears...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120465
 11.11.2015
I am now coming to the kitchen for a tea drink, there a concert on television is scheduled for the day of the police. I am not in the subject of our stage at all. I see, the man sings, the head of the courtyard praide, the brutal wandering cat is very similar, and the vocals of about the same palette of tones and sound. And the stylish eyebrows on his face look no less strange than the penny in the eyes of a crocodile.
I wonder: "Who is this?", answer: "Leps."
Well, now I understand why he’s so popular... Charisma, gentlemen...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120464
 11.11.2015
to this:

- In the menu "PUSH", all programs, 1C:Enterprise...
What a shot? I am a programmer!? to

I was personally refused yesterday to consider my CV for an ECONOMIST job with the statement that I do not know SQL.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120463
 11.11.2015
Sorry, I am in hell (
No, I am in hell!
If you’re in hell, why don’t I see you here?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120462
 11.11.2015
Okay help me!
It looks like a story. of the 90s. The man in the apartment has a photo wallpaper with the image of the autumn forest. And at some point, I don’t remember how or why, but he goes to walk right into those wallpapers. He meets a girl there. She has the same wallpaper. And then he seems to try to find her in the real world. I do not remember how the case ended. Hope is only for you. thank you.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120461
 11.11.2015
Lesin died in the United States.
His children live in the United States.
His grandchildren live in the United States.
Because the main propagandist of Russia knew the difference of propaganda from reality

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120460
 11.11.2015
I sit down, forging the code (home).
The wife gives:
When you talk, you do something silly, and when you silence, I don’t like it at all.
I forgot what I wrote.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120459
 11.11.2015
News on RBC 10.11.2015
10:51 In the DPR about the "attempt to breakthrough" of Ukrainian forces near Debaltsevo
12:03 The General Staff of Ukraine denied the offensive of the forces near Debaltsevo

11:23 The media the capture of two women hostage in the south of Moscow
12:06 The Ministry of Internal Affairs denied information about the capture of hostages in the south of Moscow

13:08 The car will stop the convoy for a month
14:30 AutoVAZ denied the stop of the conveyor for a month

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120458
 11.11.2015
zzz: How many times you can repeat - don't let aunt with their books on the internet. Not only will they all be upset, but they will also be upset.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120457
 11.11.2015
The boy told me today.
There was civil defense.
Prepod suddenly asked me: "How do you think, under whose control does civil defense operate?"
And I said, not thinking: "Under the management of Letowa"
Then a few seconds of silence...and the prede quietly said: "Everything goes according to plan..."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120456
 11.11.2015
What times? Advertising of sports toilet paper. In the advertisement of candy skin diseases. In the advertisement of the navigator a strange dad...Marketers, what are you?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120455
 11.11.2015
To become a philosopher, you need very little – either to earn little or to marry unsuccessfully.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №120454
 11.11.2015
About Love

My father died quickly.
I left Peter for a couple of days and flew to see him and say goodbye.
I hardly knew it, just through my eyes. There was a thin old man sitting on the hospital bed, I couldn’t even believe that this was my powerful Dad and he was only fifty-one.
We talked a long time about life, even though we both understood what it was about death.
In those days, Mom lived right there, in the chamber, next to Dad, spent the night on three chairs, and in the afternoon ran home for a short time to wash, cook and put on pillows and straight back.
In the room, Mom was always cheerful, cheerful and lighthearted, even joking. I cried silently just behind the door when I was washing dishes in the laundry.
With her father's work, a collaborator with oranges was sent, she was instructed to visit and find out - how there is Yuri Vasilyevich and how serious is everything in him?
The aunt entered, greeted her and hardly expressed her horror when she saw her changed father.
After a minute and a half, she got up from her chair, said, “Goodbye, Yuri Vasilyevich,” and knocked at the door.
Here in the chamber entered a cheerful Mom with a washed dish in her hands and her face instantly tumbled. Mother devastatingly shone her eyes on the visitor and with metal in her voice spoke:
Who are you like another? What stopped? Should the wife go out for a moment, how is she here like here? What are you watching? Your eyes are shy! Why are you lying there, smiling? I will not see that you are sick. I'm turning here - I'm turning, I don't sleep at night, but behind my back! What else is FIFA? Sick, sick, and, I see, you are not lost! You know, my jokes are bad.
Are you still here? Come away from here, and let your spirit be greater.

The frightened aunt apologized for something and, not saying goodbye, jumped out into the corridor.
Dad smiled with his lips and said quietly:

Mom, what are you doing? This is Olga from my department.
- And I, though Olga, though Galia, have nothing to respect them. Walk on the wall, and there. Drink a better kefir, and I will go and warn the guard not to let her come here anymore. All of.

Mother jumped up and decidedly left the room.
I’ve never seen a scene of jealousy performed by my parents in my life and was, gently speaking, stunned.
At any rate, I jumped for Mom into the corridor, if little she would do there in such a state.
At the very end of the long corridor, Mom caught the confused Olga and said:

- For the sake of God, forgive me, but you must understand... Translate to everyone there your greetings and thanks.
Olya, I have a great request for you, but don’t refuse: if you can, come to him again at least once. Please please. Okay is? I ask you very much, do not delay. Better tomorrow...

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