Know the Ours!
"Lada Kalina sales in Germany in October of this month amounted to three units.
The same figure ended the month with Aston Marin DB9, Cadillac CTS and Lamborghini Aventador. This is by Auto Motor und Sport.

The weekend only ends with money.

Cats have a high level of intelligence. They can even identify causal relationships. For example, always come to the kitchen for the smell of turmeric onions. It is estimated that in 90% of cases, fresh meat will now come from the refrigerator.
And today I divided my two-walk in full. I come from work — he jumps out into the hallway all stretched and shows all his appearance that he wants to play. And the game we usually play is this: the first pretends to catch the second, the second is very scared and runs away. The first is in the assembly. Everyone has their own seats according to the dimensions. I have a bathroom, toilet, kitchen, corner of the corridor. The cat - behind the sofas, under the sofas, under the cushion, under the bookcase. Then the frightened goes out to see if the threat has disappeared. The attacker jumped out of the assembly. Everything is new.
Today I am a bandit, a cat for a victim. The cat is on the couch, I am in the bathroom. I wait for him, I wait for him to go looking for me... and I hear that he is delighted, with a squeezing of the new couch in the room, for which he usually strikes strongly. A few seconds before I managed to catch up, he was enough to disappear.
And here it came to me. This gentleman originally wanted to break the couch while no one was there, and here I am in the door. And in his puffy head easily and relentlessly developed an elegant combination, how to eliminate the annoying interference, do what you want and not get a hustle for it.
and my applause.

I made my daughter a Halloween costume. Hanged earlier in the children's room on the wall a phosphorescent skeleton of one and a half meters of individual flat pieces, then he was bored by the children, abandoned. I decided to weave these bones on the daughter's black costume for dancing - it will be Kashya. I found the skeleton, washed it, and left it in the bathroom.
Sanchez is combined. In the morning, the husband went to the toilet, the children mocked him - the outside turned off the light. has gone out. I ask :
What, did he go?
and AGA. Two times. The second was when I got up for paper and saw THIS in the bathroom.

aglomit: fucking, here two linuxoids argue for an hour how correctly pronounced - linux or linux. Who knows how to beat each other?
Dieball: linux
Tagged: linux
CoopRoom: Linux
Aglomit: I’m probably in vain, right?

And he wrote:
I want to sleep like a flock of angry sleeping beauties.

She: You behave like a five-year-old child!! to
It is not the truth!! Can a five-year-old say DEXOXYBRIBONUCLEIN? 😉

c) Shuma

The city of Rostov-on-Don:
It will be suitable for those who work until 18:00 in the district of Kisiterinka and Selmasha. From the station Kiziterinka electric car departs at 18:01..."

This will be the race 😉

From a phone conversation: I sent you an email yesterday and a package: a few files and pictures. Do you imagine? "Today’s Day" So touching!

From Habr.

XXX is my favorite topic. Trolling of spammers.
First, get the habit instead of “allo” to say “washing room”, “synagogue”, or “duty captain Atabayev is listening!”
This sometimes causes a funny pattern break :)
You can still say instead of allo right away: "Good morning, Sergey Petrovich please call!"

A few times in the laundry room they said, “Daaah? “Sorry...” Once there was just a plague dialogue:
I am the synagogue!
Tagged with: allo! Is it an apartment?
I: I tell you, this is a synagogue!
Spammer: Are you an organization?
I: In your opinion, the synagogue is not an organization?
Spammer: (hanging the phone)

Further, if there is no time. Do not turn off, but just put the phone next to the table and continue to do your business. Let it go into the emptiness.

You can listen to a monologue and then say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t listen to you. Please repeat it again :)

And the most vicious and cruel trolling: pretending to be terribly interested in the service offered, but hearing just terribly bad. Speak loudly and ask to repeat. “What is? What is the speed of the internet? The AAAA? Excuse me? Repeat it again! Badly heard! Oh you are!! What a great offer! What? Congratulations again louder! It’s bad!” :D :D But it’s very bad.

A candidate for the position of engineer.
He is asked.
XXX: What is the electricity in the rocket? Permanent or variable?? to
YYY is permanent.
XXX is??? Why such conclusions?? to
YYY: Well how he’s there all the time.

As I love Soviet films, there is a maximum of one car in the courtyard.

XXX: Here is a good story about the great.

xxx: I had one root at Harley-Davidson. I went to work on a big for a hundred (I fucking know that there can be a waste) and parked it in the corner of the showroom.

xxx: And a certain client, who walked around the showroom, once cried out: you have a fucking motorcycle, but the big one is a fucking one.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fuck, I’m very sad about what’s going on with Apple.
Without Jobs, they are no longer part of IT history.
YYY: the opposite
YYY: It was it that became it :)))

Cowwka Ready to Be a Candle in Your Night
Cowwka: Missing and what would that mean?
Matrsoff: Failing to correctly speak the suppository...

case at work.
Aaa: I left a tube with fluid nails here yesterday, where is it?
BBB: Take it on the second shelf.
Thanks, but where did you put the liquid hammer?

16.11.2012 09:58 Docent: The head of Roskomnadzor denied the existence of censorship on the Internet and said that any website claiming the opposite will be immediately closed.

Wife: What should we see? "7 Years in Tibet" is a heavy movie?
I: Well, 40 minutes will run.

Of all the mourning crowd of dark-haters, I am the happiest! There were not enough tickets! = r

The angel Leo

"that if you turn on Rammstein, the technique from the German branch runs better and shoots more accurately."
............

Yes, I also noticed. that the Soviet branch under the melody of the "beware of the car" is almost invincible!! to