A woman calls us in the TP, saying, the internet is not connected. We carry out the standard diagnosis, at this time the girl (daughter, apparently) on the backdrop cries, the mother cries on her constantly and says:
Let me talk to my uncle.
The monkey is:
I will talk to my uncle.
Mother cries at her again, saying, don’t stop talking. My daughter again:
I will talk to my uncle.
Eventually, the mother shouted at the girl, which she insulted:
I'll talk to my uncle, or I'll make you a fruit pellet!
He barely fell from the chair.

The Director says to me:
Take the documents and give them to the driver. He is waiting down there.
I ask :
How is the company called?
- "Sunday of the Year"
I go down. I see a driver’s look. I ask :
Are you from Sunday?
No, he says. I’ve been there since Tuesday 😉

Commentary from YouTube:
GTA 5? Fuck you! It will be GTA 4S.! to

The authorities do not digest their people organically.

One day, in the early thirties, a provincial came to Moscow. And to join the high culture, he went to the ballet, as he was advised at home. Before that he had never been to the theaters and had no idea what he would see there. He dressed better and went early to see the beauty of the Great Theatre.

But then the famous luster went out, and the show began. Dancers appeared on stage. Beautifully, of course, the masses of the people with their flags ran on stage, as if they were trying to make a revolution, but... it takes five minutes, then ten, then fifteen. The viewer was a little bored.
Half an hour later, he began to blink and look with longing at the huge luster above his head - when will it, the infection, finally light up? The buffet was unbearable.

He was squeezing a little, and then turned to the neighbor — a beautiful old man with a beard and a penny on his nose: "Listen, uncle, and why are they all dancing, and dancing? I would sing something.” The neighbor slightly but harmlessly smiled and readily explained: "You understand, young man, this is a kind of art - history is told only with the help of dance. They don’t sing here.” And at this very moment the singer in a kumacho chlamydia rose from the orchestra hole and sang fiercely and loudly "Marseilleza" - this was an experimental synthetic performance "Flam of Paris" by Boris Asaphiev.

The provincial triumphantly turned to a slightly confused neighbor:

Is it your first time at the theater?

And this neighbor was nobody but Vladimir Ivanovich himself.
by Nemirovich-Danchenko

All men are goats!
Yes my dear. Absolutely everything.
And you too?
I am the biggest goat in the world!
So why did I marry you and live with you for so many years?
But now we move smoothly to the topic that all the babies are stupid.

Vittorio_a LJ: What is real globalism?
This is when two Jews are tried in an English court for money stolen in Russia.

Talk about a 6-year-old child
I would give him to football.
She: No-no, our football team is weak, but basketball is strong, my mom said she wants to give him basketball.
He is, but he is small.
She: His father has a height of 190 cm, and I am 160 cm tall.
He: Well, one of the two will either play basketball or carry the Ring of Almighty to the Destiny Mountain xD

You’ve never noticed that Mr. Krabs is selling Crabs Burgers.
XXX: And he uses them himself.
XXX: And no one in the underwater world is embarrassed by this.
Yyy: I have always doubted the moral values of crabs.

by 00:25:40
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
by 00:26:04
Yyy: Bongzhou, mon am. by Saba Been
by 00:26:30
XXX: Go to it.

Alexander: Do you say flowers, perfumes, diamonds? And my friend gave me a server) This is a romance.)

From Skype
XXX: I get it all
xxx: to sleep
xxx: to sleep
Yyy: burned so burned that nervous it)

I take the phone and usually the first thing instead of ‘Allo’ is to name the city I am in. I spent two weeks in Surgut, another week in Khanty-Mansiysk. He went back to Rostov. I arrived at night and went to sleep immediately. The call. I sleep with a phone.
"Su.. Haaa... Blah, haaa haaa... Rostov."
There was silence at the end of the wire. The short slides. )

Why do you want to become our employee?
YYY: Because other such idiots to go to work for the coins you’re offering in your rotten shell, you’ll find it!
XXX You are accepted!

I decided to send a friend to Vladivostok for the new year a fun postcard, like under the old. Imagining her surprise and joy, I sit in the room with a whirlwind on my face and warm up a burner in a tablespoon. The door opens, the mother enters and with the words of “O God” she fails. and ((

Hard work in the store.
I work in a bookstore, an uncle-ambal comes in with my neck like a frog. And in general, the ninth century recalled... the wild looks around (have you gotten there? This is for the office here.
I ask what interests and I hear the immortal:
You have books for! The shark? and (!)

Yesterday on the occasion of the arrival in our office of some unknown purpose delegation from Chelyabinsk on the wall board appeared a message about the socialist Saturday on a voluntary basis. It looked like this: "A delegation from Chelyabinsk is coming to us tomorrow! In order not to hit the face with dirt (in all respects), today we all clean our tables so that there is nothing extra on them! No need to do it!"
A few more words in the same spirit.
A delegation arrives. We have everything clean, drained, no shit, so as not to hit the dirt in the face.
And the inscription from the board is not sturdy.
Like the idiots.

I will do this tonight, my wife will not go to our little child 3 months
Can you ask, in honor of whom did you call your son Zmes?

Q: Can you kill me?
See also: Kaishna for the money. payment in advance)
Q: For a million dollars?
Oh, where am I so much? and less))
XHH: for how much?
I don’t understand, is this a real proposal?
XHH: for how much?
Do we trade? How much do you want to die for? and ;)
HH: How much is it?
You are free of charge.

Serwak needs to be grounded urgently, he is beating me with a static!
N: It is he who drives you away!