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[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №135321
 28.10.2016
I want to offer you a deal. Here’s the button, if you press it, you’ll immediately get a million dollars, but at the same time, one person you don’t know will die. Whether you do it or refuse, think about your decision.
For whom do you accept me? You can keep your million fucking fancies, just let me press that damn button!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135320
 28.10.2016
You are “four hundred and fifty,” insert a card, type a PIN code. It was all 4150. Did you think it was 450?

It is evident that a man has never paid for anything with plastic.))) Comrade, I will uncover a terrible secret. On the POS terminal, in which the card is usually inserted, the amount is displayed BEFORE the PIN code is entered. If the box has a different design, then it still has a display addressed to the buyer. If it "broke", then I will just refuse to buy. "I blindly" no one ever enters a PIN code. On the contrary, when you pay in cash for a bunch of goods, calculating you is much easier and more interesting to the seller. Checks always break the right ones, but the excess money is immediately removed from the box and taken away from it, and you will prove what you will even get to remove the box. You understand yourself that with a fool you can not create this, there all the cash flows are under control. That’s why he doesn’t like the masters of points, by the way.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135319
 28.10.2016
Well, do the button "Right, but not funny". Or I’m right on a part of the rubber...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135318
 28.10.2016
It is strange that the surgeon and Panin are not members of parliament yet. One in the Culture Committee. Someone else would protect animals.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135317
 28.10.2016
I add :

Samsung is going to send the owners of the Galaxy Note 7 a special set of things to return the phone, including a box made of a special insulating ceramic fiber.
The Samsung office
October 3 "We will send you a safe return box"
October 7 "The boxes do not explode."
October 12 "Some boxes sometimes explode..."
October 16 "Pofig, we begin to produce weapons."

Samsung has been producing it for a long time. BTRs, haubits, SAUs and security robots. Apparently, just someone from the department of development of mining equipment on the promotion to the telephone department came :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135316
 28.10.2016
There are a bunch of rock bands that were banned in the USSR for religious obscurity.
Nazareth and Black Sabath.

In Russia, they will soon be banned for satanism.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135315
 28.10.2016
xxx: Not cumulative, but OBPG: operated (in the literal sense) armored subcaliber goose. If he was flying his ass and when he collided with the frontal he released a stream that broke the glass, then yes - cumulative.
YYY: Until this life of the engineer of the heat car did not prepare...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135314
 28.10.2016
Q: Don’t confuse me. The linguist with the view of "in general" and other "appear" does not splash with saliva, but collects material for the dissertation. And the Grammar Nazis are not linguists, they are those who have never had a three in Russian at school, and they are still proud of this.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135313
 28.10.2016
Group of linguists

xxx: Brothers, there is a schoolgirl 11th grade, you need to pull in German for DSD. 800-900 per hour, the deal is appropriate. Does anyone want here?
yyy: the guy teaches a schoolgirl German, but she has no money

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135312
 28.10.2016
All you need to know about Saratov: "Saturday Fair at Theatre Square will take place on Sunday"

WOW: It is called the "weekend trade fair". Just traditionally held on Saturday and the usual name - "Saturday".
So it was more correct to write "all you need to know about people who love to write "all you need to know".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №135311
 28.10.2016
The first snow on the roads is like the first sex: everyone wants something, they go somewhere, some even get something, but half even have no rubber :))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135310
 28.10.2016
Mother :
I forgot to post it (or you will think I’m angry)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135309
 28.10.2016
This was somewhere in the late 1990s. Kindergarten in the middle of October. We were taken out for a walk, all as usual, who tries to forge the sand, who takes away the toys from others. Why did I not sit there. And such a small gap between the building and the fence led me to leave this institution! I have broken! I will never forget that feeling! The first swing of freedom. Where to go? Go home of course! ) Arriving at my house, I remembered that my mom and dad were at work, so it was decided to get to my dad’s job (he was interested, he worked on a local TV channel. ) is Going to him in such a turn and at that time it was quite dangerous (it had to be crossed several times), but I managed to cope with all the difficulties of the way and presented myself to Dad in all his glory! I couldn't describe my daddy's face then, and I don't remember it now, but it was probably horror! Then he decided to call the garden and there was this dialogue:

Good day! You are worried about my dad. Tell me, where is my child?

Hi to you! He is with us, all well!

Are you sure? ! to

Absolutely of course!

well well! All the good!

We immediately headed to the place of my escape. It was scary and shameful. And it wasn’t just me.) By the time we arrived, the whole kindergarten was already on our ears! The teacher was fired. This is the story :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135308
 28.10.2016
I was in the fifth grade then, and my older sister was in the eighth, and it was winter in the yard, and with the permission of my parents, I sat with them and watched television until late in the evening. My sister went to bed early. And then my parents told me that it was time to go to bed (it was about 12 o’clock, or maybe the beginning of the first). I went to my room, at this time my sister woke up from a natural need to go to the toilet and, seeing me, asked that she had already missed school. What I answered was that she was already decently late and it was time to go out, she began to get messy, run to wash, and I just took it and went to bed. Our mother, seeing her sister dressing around the apartment at night and going, asked her what she was doing?, which was answered that she was late to school. Literally a minute later, my sister ran into the room and started screaming at me that I had cheated on her.



That day we both stood at different corners for a very long time, and in the morning we went to school.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135307
 28.10.2016
In our city, a scheduled inspection of the warning system was carried out and, accordingly, the syrene was sparked throughout the city, my worried wife wrote and about her actions. The next dialogue (Woman - J, I-I):

I took my passport, dressed in jeans and a cat.

I: No, this is a system check.

J: So then well. I already packed the salt.

And the salt? Why is she there for you? ;)

Suddenly something happens. Without salt, cats are not delicious.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135306
 28.10.2016
I was 11 years old, lying in a chamber with the same guys, who every day, from boredom something to surprise. Yes, and all the fun, one made a bomb and it exploded damaging the eye, the other fought his nose with a cat and the one dropped his nails in the eye, I don't remember the others.

The day of the operation has come, everyone is looking with interest at the preparation and here someone is talking.

P: “It’s a pity that you won’t get up today, you could run today.”

I: Can’t I get up? ? to ? to I will get up immediately after the operation. ! to ! to This was my first drug experience.

P: No, you are the one. Everyone sleeps a long time after the drug!

I: I am not everything. I will get up immediately after the operation and walk around the room! to argue? ! to ? to ! to

I bet I don’t remember. Witnesses were the whole chamber and nurses who assured me that nothing would go out, which naturally inflamed me even more.

I was taken to the operating room, the doctors said something encouraging, and I lie down and program myself to win the dispute.

I woke up when I was already taken to the room, the first thought was to get up! ! to ! to

He stood, but his arms and legs were tied to the catallice, disconnected.

It turned on when they had already been brought, disconnected and started to move to bed. There are two nurses, father and mother, and I have the idea of fixing up! ! to ! to

I get up - they lay down, I break out - they lay down, I start screaming that I want to get up and I break out with force. I am 11 years old, I am held by 4 adults, and I occasionally trick to tear that hand, that leg, and try to get up shouting something incomprehensible to others.

The parents were not jokingly frightened and here the nurses remember my quarrel and let me get up and walk after which I safely turn off.

I was considered the hero of the chamber until the release.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135305
 28.10.2016
I was 17 years old, a young girl. I was anesthetized once, the diagnosis was acute appendicitis, surgery.

As the doctors said, I did not remember it.

After the operation, I was taken by a doctor in the elevator. And then I said through my dream, “I am a princess! “” The doctors shook, asking:

And then we are who?

You are horses!

While lying in the hospital, all the doctors, nurses and sanitarians stumbled.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135304
 28.10.2016
<xxx>I haven’t played for a long time, but my fingers remember, I lie on WASD.
<xxx>I decided not to go against myself, rearranged the hookey in my workplace. Now complete harmony: Fingers lie on WASD, and the soul is somewhat calmer. can work. is comfortable. "We are at home!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135303
 28.10.2016
Xhx: Why did you delay in looking for work until winter? It is cold, winter and dirt. How will you drive to the interview center from Gatchina? You have to be careful.
Yyy: Strange you imagine the trip from Gatchina. I go from the depths of the forest through the swamps, I cross the rivers, I climb over the broken trees?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135302
 28.10.2016
The accountant hanged the bill in the bank tomorrow, and the director took it and signed it today. Sber refused payment with a note:
"Date of the document is overday, overday is not completed"

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