bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74934
 27.12.2012
Allie Nina, is it you?! to
Yy: You are an elephant cock!! (There are...
xx to!? O_O

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №74933
 27.12.2012
The boss said: “He’s driving home unusually early. A call from my wife:
Are you far away?
I will soon be dear.
Go ahead until your parking place is occupied.
He arrives at the house and calls his wife:
What are you there? Here’s the goat... Fuck... Some idiot is parking in your place!! to
“Hmm... calm down, dear, it’s me..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74932
 27.12.2012
Next to me was a guy in the electric car, listening to music in very large headphones with...PHOTOAPARAT :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №74931
 27.12.2012
and Anton:
How are you dealing? What are you doing?)

and Angie:
I wonder what kind of dance I should go to.

and Anton:
Sports and sports )

and Angie:
and NOU.

and Anton:
This is... am... very fun.
Why is?

and Angie:
I would go, but I don’t need them.

and Anton:
Do you need a dance you need in your life?

and Angie:
and yes.

and Anton:
and capoeira.
A hundred pounds.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №74930
 27.12.2012
I sit in a line in the hospital, I am the last in front of me two others. A 40-year-old man in a wheelchair. The dead silence. Uncle who was in the wheelchair began to ask me about motorcycles and other things (not for nothing Harley Davidson's bag) scattered with the tongues - we were talking, he started rubbing me as I was chasing himself, said the local, and then the bat! And here I am tied to a chair, I am just driving in a wheelchair... I was taken by the soul, I have really started to re-evaluate reality. I didn’t notice my turn had come. He asks me, can I go? At first I did not pay attention to the verb in his question and answered yes, please. He took and went in. with feet. has entered. by Sam. I have hooked.

[ + 15 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74929
 27.12.2012
Antiis07: Good morning only for McDonald's workers. They smiled in the morning.
Starakanami: - You would have been so fucking, you would have also smiled in the morning.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №74928
 27.12.2012
Now the candy eaten "Gerasim and Mu-Mu";, there on the label of Gerasim popped and with him a healthy bowl in the boat)) mu-mu blin)

The Evil – Ascend

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №74927
 27.12.2012
Ohhhhhh Talk to parents about entering the university
Ohhhhhh At first I explained to my father that the coder is not the one who codes the men from the blue.
Ohhhhhh He then explained to his mothers that the programmer was not the one they had at work sitting behind the door with the inscription “You need administrator rights to enter here.”
Ohhhhhh I have some doubts about my choice of profession.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №74926
 27.12.2012
XHHH: I and I drive on m4 at 180 speed.

Watch not to hit at 2 km/h.

[ + 8 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74925
 27.12.2012
In Irkutsk, as in many cities, there is a Camelot clothing store. So, I heard a conversation in a row - the girl pulls her boyfriend:
Arthur, Arthur, where are we going for the shoes?
People with a serious face:
In the Camelot.
He almost died right there, in line, laughing.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74924
 27.12.2012
My inflamed brain today called the morning a “children’s corporation.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №74923
 27.12.2012
Sasha is the man who yesterday closed the records and 3 of the 5 exams have already passed.
Such a dialogue
I: You are cool! Are you sleeping at all?
I bought a coffee maker.

[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74922
 27.12.2012
The man who barred the sidewalk on the Dubin Street on his Land Rover, I truly wish you to go to the same place where you sent everyone and that your car would burn off and no ruble would be paid for the casco.
The pedestrian.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74921
 27.12.2012
Comments on the book "programming discipline"

Aspirin__F2__F@
I will try to read! Then I sign up!

Sergey
I will read then write.

Mmsd
Everyone who starts reading this book with the words "I will read and then write" will disappear without a trace. There is a black hole in the book.

Lexus is
Well, what do we check if there is a black hole in it or I will sign off after reading it?

Anonymous
After reading the comments, I decided not to read this book, because I fear for my health and life.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74920
 27.12.2012
XXX: Now I went to a friend, asked the computer to see. Such a cute mother. He sits all textbooks on physics, chemistry, algebra, geometry, etc. I bet for 7th grade. I decided to joke that it was too early to teach her all this. She replied that she decided to receive the tower, and forgot everything during the decree. He will be studying in the middle, but he will act and learn with his mind. Afraid of not giving up. In three months, the program of each class starts from 5. I am in shock! They are such! I did not even want to leave.
xxx: Exiled with the words "Go to your wife"(
YYY: O_o
Yyy: Invite her to marry.
YYY: For me

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №74919
 27.12.2012
Driving in a trolley bus, a young mother and a 4-year-old boy entered.
The boy was very sociable – almost all the trip I heard him telling a random neighbor how he was riding to the lake and other adventures. Then he pulled out of my mom’s hand a cell phone and began to tell me what a great game there is. And at the end, he said, “You have to tell your mom that she’s good, that you love her... not that she’s a cattle and a bastard.” The whole trolleybus was very impressed.)

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №74918
 27.12.2012
If you hurt someone, pretend to hurt you.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №74917
 27.12.2012
From correspondence with a friend: In general, Taobao (the Chinese online store of all) is a fun place, I found a hell lamp there yesterday with a bunch of some additional devices and other shit. I think I need to buy, the lamp is super cool! In the end, the google translator told me that it was a false imitator :(

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №74916
 27.12.2012
XXX: short, we took the sprint
YYY: Have you caught up?
XXX: Aha
YYY: What does that mean?
Fuck up means fuck up.
xxx: we are here in English - it is permissible and next to the boss
Xxx: Type we are highly intelligent

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74915
 27.12.2012
known cases of cooking in the washing machine of cancers (" a cha,
It warms up to 95 degrees and presses the juice in the washing machine.
Bearded

Ha has. In the Soviet washing machines dissolved stolen candy caramel and sugar, allowed to be brown and melted into a self-propelled apparatus. In modern with a tailored controller, such a braga was done precisely and, probably, the first was also obtained, raising the temperature at the right moment to about 85 degrees (although you need to climb into the body to glue the steam pipe to the tank). There are examples of obtaining bragi for the same from potatoes and beets, which beats the drum in the washing mode, is pressed in the press mode and then wanders perfectly. And finally (tested by me!) small potatoes with peanuts and small carrots, i.e. a typical marriage formed in each detector, can be washed without powder in the washing machine and thus massively cleaned without straining (nano-morning then usually goes in a marinade range with peanuts, onions, etc., and the nanocarton is partially frozen and roasted in fries as you starve). But the juice should not be squeezed: would you know how much of the planted hair is wrapped in the pump... do you definitely want to drink this afterwards? and ;)

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