There is a shortage of high-skilled low-paying personnel in the market.

A man asks a blonde wife:

If 4 eggs are cooked for 4 minutes, how much will 8 eggs be cooked?

The wife thought:

and 8 minutes.

My husband laughs:

What logic is that?

The Wife:

In the casket. In our pot for eggs more than 4 pieces at a time does not fit.



Yyy: A mathematician confronted a programmer

It is not there they are looking for...



(In the secret, by the whisper)



It seems that foreign agents are our central TV channels, because at what time you don’t turn on the TV, all conversations, political shows and news about Ukraine and the United States...



© Dmitry Sviridov

There is an unusual monument in Volgograd. This is a little girl playing acordeon. It is set by a real girl who went to the hospital to the fighters wounded during the Battle of Stalingrad and played with them for hours. The girl was 13 at the time, but she looked 9 years old. The acordeon was large and heavy. But the soldiers loved her concerts very much, and they were waiting for them every day. Therefore, the girl again went on foot to the hospital with a heavy accordion to color the soldiers hospital days filled with suffering. The name of this girl was Alexandra Pakhmutova.

Sechin assures that "without the dumper, gasoline would be more expensive than rubles by 15".
But I forgot to add that without Sechin it would be twice as cheap.

A person who can pay for the services of a narcologist is considered a sick person, not an alcoholic.

I think everyone has already seen the news about the border of Belarus and Poland, as illegal migrants storm the border to then get to Germany.

Here I sit now listening to the news about what is there and how. The journalist says:

We are on the border and there are a lot of people here. The poor have no water, no food, nothing. Horrible, why are they not so humane toward these poor people? (c) the

And I think of myself, there is no water and food, but there are hydraulic pieces to cut the clutch wire and tents at 300 euros per piece in the frame blink... And that they are sitting in a common chat in a telegram or вотсаппе all there with mobile communication and the internet - you didn't understand, it's another. They have not forgotten all these things, but the poor have forgotten the water and food.

The Russian government has confirmed plans to increase pensions next year by 0.9 times.

I met a girl much younger than myself. The further dialogue:

The girl: “Why are you always putting ridiculous sticks at the end?”

I: “Atavism since the time of Ashka”

The girl: "I only understood the word of time"

I said, “Eye...”

Once in the recreation park, the toilets were closed for repair, and instead they put some temporary toilet in the wagon, and at a height of two meters, a ladder with very low perils, literally below the knee, rose up to it. I came down from this ladder and flew through these perils to the ground. I lie on the ground, crawling from falling and I hear the scream on the whole park: “YACAAA!!! The Eggs!! and. To me runs an extremely excited woman 10-15 years older than me and shaking my shoulder asks: "Eggs are whole?!" I squeezing from the question touch the eggs and find that the pants in the process of falling broke from the ass to the width and the desired parts of the body look through the gap. The woman also sees this natural death, turns red and bore something like "God thank you" goes away. And I took off my jacket, tied it to the belt with my sleeves to hide the gap and went home.

You are an intelligent person, if you are standing on a bridge, you have never spit into the river.

The secretary told us.
We gather to the object, Nastena (secretary) departs:
And let the driver go with you to measure the structure - he has exactly a meter between his legs!
Of course, she meant the length of the step.
But the point driver Semenych was looked at with respect.

Young man, we have a bottle of half-sweet.
Can you look at your papers?
Don’t we see that we can already?
Fuck you will understand. You seem to look normal, and then it turns out that you are 65+ and you need to sit at home.

A well-known network of hypermarkets. I lavish among the shelves, in the wheelchair is a daughter, she is about 4 years old. In front of it is a car, so that it has sealed the whole passage. I just wanted to ask to move, and my daughter quickly gave me:

From the road, chicken legs!! to

My aunt falls into a crash like me, but goes away.

As it turned out, the grandmother was reading a fairy tale to her granddaughter the day before and she remembered the most emotional phrase.

It was 1990 years. Father went for a walk with a dog (Coker Spaniel, nicknamed Lorik). He walked with him without a guide, on a fairly large area along the river, where bushes, trees and a river. Well, as is the case with the cocker, the dog went in an unknown direction. The father and father said, “Loriko! “Lorry!” Someone else is hearing “Laura! “Laura!” He goes to the voice, and there a man calls his dog. My father is riding on this man, the man is not a man. As a result, the matter goes to a fight and here from the bushes resort to two cocker - Lorik and Laura. The man apologizes, the man too. They divide. Dad comes home. Mother sends him a knot, because the dog is fucking that! They confused the dogs - met on the boulevard, the benefit of the micro-region is small. The portion. This man gets a beer. They sat down and drank beer. Here, the wives went out to look for men with dogs. They met and became friends until the death of my parents. Now I am with them and their kids :)

When I was a little boy, my father made me walk, I was 6 years old. These are 2-metre barley sticks, 50-60 mm in diameter, with two degrees. The first stages, like stages, from the rod two pieces were cut off and crushed to two hundred nails, were 0.5 meters from the Earth, the second went through 0.5 meters from the first, and they were from the outside. The first time I stood up on the footsteps, I woke up, high, scary. How to move, move, maintain balance is not known. Once it fell, two, and everything became clear. In the yard, I began to look at everyone from high. A few days later, having mastered this instrument, I learned to run on them, and to give sockets. If you have two darts, you are invincible.

Just remember, and you are the Internet, the Internet.

In recent times, political correctness has become so complicated that I have finally become confused: who can not be called by who, and who must be called by what.

The Law of the Good Samaritan. I remembered one Russian celebration of this law according to the story of a doctor of the Emergency.

He pulled his uncle out of the world of the straight lines of the cardiogram. A mini-oligarch of some kind, judging by the situation of the apartment, as well as by the twisted character of relatives, friends and relatives of the half-dead. They immediately joined up and organized something like a press conference - crowded, excitedly walked and baffled on phones, trying to scream each other.

The atmosphere was created the most psychotic - someone lamented something, someone replied with a choir on the whistle, sharply smelled valerian. From her the cat went crazy and started to wear around the apartment with soul-breaking cries. Who rushed to catch a cat, who broke into the bedroom. One bully then broke in and pulled a whole crowd on its shoulders, hanging on it.
Let me go to him!! She called.
Only through my body!! The other shouted.

A new successful breakthrough from the flank of this fight - the guy had time to call himself a son-in-law, but as he looked at all this, he caught him. He crumbled, pale, and grabbed his heart. He leaned to the wall, the coat at the throat stretches, and the fingers do not fall.

- I have seen such cases in my practice - explained the further doctor - there is nothing to be confused with, and seconds decide. You won’t get a valerian. I grabbed him by the door of all his clothes at once and rattled from the soul, but the buttons across the room jumped - from the shirt, the jacket and the coat. Well, he pulled the discharge with the same defibrillator so he couldn’t get up twice. I felt the collapsed body - the pulse is there, returned to the main patient.

This son-in-law, when he stumbled, was grateful for saving the life of his precious father-in-law, but also upset - it turns out, he tried to stumble in his loaded pocket and was afraid that he had lost it. And he leaned to the wall, so as not to interfere with doctors and not get under the grandmother's decomposition. As he saw the angry faces of the brigade in white rushing to him, he thought that he would be beaten now. I thought it was time to get out of here, I can’t remember anything. Especially not bothered, the sensations after the electrical shock described as revitalizing. I managed to pump the aunt - and okay, figured with her with discolored clothes.

In the meantime, he woke up, slowly waving his hand to his grandmothers, but his face became sad, as if he was thinking about ways to retreat to another world. At the sight of the son-in-law of the toples and in the lush spots below the belt, like a papua, the patient began to revive, listen, and finally spoke. He assured him that he had seen all this from above from the astral, and only after he had restrained, an irresistible force brought him back into his body. The act of a good doctor, who struck an electro-shock in nothing guilty son-in-law, remained unpunished.

If I take a panoramic view of Vichino on which the temple will fall, will it be considered a photo of the ass on the backdrop of the temple?

I met a guy in the subway. He walked around and led me home. I invited him for tea. We sit down and drink tea. Both are uncomfortable. We both understand that the situation seems to imply, but both are fucking “not.” And then I cuddly poured a boil on his pants. Honestly, I accidentally broke out. I think of myself, “It’s straight like porn. “Well, I really want to fuck.” And I say to him with the most innocent appearance: "Take off your pants, we will dry on the battery." He looked at me with horror and somehow turned off. I drank tea and he was at the door. Here I took him for the shovel (literally), I ask:

Cho, did you not like it?

You liked it, what?

You did not get my number. Let me record.



In general, they have been married for five years. Once we remembered our first acquaintance, he said, "You are offering me to take off my pants, and I think fucking, it's straight like porn, well, it can't really be. I’ll break up, and it turns out you didn’t mean that.”

That is, not that he did not understand the hint, he understood, but insured the journey.