bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105374
 13.11.2014
xxx: How do you continue to live when you learn that your child writes love fanfics on chips and deals and draw pictures to these stories?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105373
 12.11.2014
How do I tell a girl I have a big penis?
u: tell her "I have a long lunch break... and not only he"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105372
 12.11.2014
In the forum:
Matthew 628: Which doctor treats the gut?
Pleasant answer Shchuchko: gastroenterologist, surgeon, proctologist, therapist, and of course the favourite of grandmothers - Gennady Petrovich Malakhov))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105371
 12.11.2014
I watched movies about war and...
Now I have my ancient tablet, stored since the sergeant army youth, in the chamber for maps pushed his Chinese (which is also a typical tablet) and cosplay border guard. It looks unusual: an old leather folder with an interactive map.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105370
 12.11.2014
I have finally lost faith in humanity.

WOW :?? to

My new colleague (29 years old) believes that dinosaurs breathe fire. Failed to persuade

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105369
 12.11.2014
and Seraphim,
Yesterday was a joke, I remembered.
I went to the store after work.
I bought it all, and there was a rider sport in action.
I got 10-12 right away.

Captain Buran
KKK

and Seraphim,
I put them on a tape next to the box, they still dissolve, I collect
And there’s a man’s bas in the back – you don’t get your ass slipped?
I wore it, honestly :D
Slowly I turn, I think.

The Captain Buran,
Lool

and Seraphim,
And there an uncle stands with two children and they have a snickers in front of him.

The Captain Buran,
Looooooooool

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №105368
 12.11.2014
Ohhhhhh It has happened!! 18 years after I graduated from school, I needed a carrier!
Ohhhhhh Of course I don’t have him near me.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №105367
 12.11.2014
Thorr: Strictly speaking, atoms never touch each other. There is always an empty place between them. What we call "touch" in the macro world, at the micro level, is an electrostatic repulsion between the external electrons of atoms from different bodies. Even if one body lies on the other, it does not lie on the micro level, but floats over it. Touching is always an illusion.
CMEX_MOHAXA: It is great! Tomorrow I will put my head on my boss. Fuck it, I’ll tell you that it’s fucking static.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105366
 12.11.2014
Still, the boss changes something irreversibly in people’s brains. We had an employee, we sat in the same office, and he was on the side of the boss fools, and in general, he was an ordinary normal guy. Well, then it happened to him to serve to the boss and he invented what no one of the pidoas who preceded him did: to control the order in individual closets for changing clothes and in refrigerators. And he still pretends that it is he who pays us the salary from his pocket, calling him a thief.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105365
 12.11.2014
YYY’s husband plays dance all night.
ZZZ and what?
YYY from my account!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105364
 12.11.2014
The best shopping trip was done by my friend. I went for the potatoes and returned to the new Peugeot :-)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105363
 12.11.2014
Announcement on the city portal and comments to it.
If anyone is waiting for the 36 bus (Ramenskoe - Arinino) which leaves Arinino at 8:10, then don't wait, he will be upset. In him on the bridge in Antonovo entered a truck Ural"
The comments:
The driver of the Ural decided to take the bus, but forgot to leave the Ural

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105362
 12.11.2014
We have a serious team of developers, but when it comes to meetings, then "OHY, ALL!"))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105361
 12.11.2014
When the boss has a problem with his cockroaches in his head, he starts checking his subordinates.

our began to make visits suddenly and selectively by the units (we are scattered around the city in a radius of a kilometer or two) at the very end of the working day or at the very beginning - to control the attendance, between the case looks at what someone on the PC screen, suddenly there is porn, not related to the workflow.

It is our turn.

And we made a scam to throw out unnecessary papers, found them signed the instructions on labor protection five years ago.
Here is a wonderful picture.
All employees of the branch sit, and the deputy reads them out loud the instructions.

To say that the boss came, means not to say anything.


[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105360
 12.11.2014
and Twitter:
The longer you postpone the search for the bride, the more doubtful the past of your wife will be.

[ + 30 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105359
 12.11.2014
Antifa: Communist blood-drinking streets retain their names
Thanks to the communist blood-drinkers, the capitalist blood-drinkers made unprecedented concessions to the working people. Without them, the author of the article would have now grumbled with chains, stuck to a machine, or burned in the stoves of Auschwitz. It was not the Democrats who saved Europe from fascism, but the Communists.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105358
 12.11.2014
But the union "of-under" really exists. In Chukovsky remember "Here needles and pins are pulled out of the counter".
— — — —
"Is-pod" is not an alliance, but a pretext. Do not teach people unless they have completed the school program themselves.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105357
 12.11.2014
And yet wisdom comes with experience... The new life does not begin with a trip to the gym, not with a change of work, not with marriage and not even with the birth of a child. The new life begins with the sudden and irreversible death of the hard disk.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105356
 12.11.2014
On October 28, any guy can offer a girl to date, but she has no right to refuse.

The comments:
YYY: Why is it suddenly?
Zzz: What a bug in the firmware...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105355
 12.11.2014
DianaSmex (being at home): Scandals, intrigues, investigations. Viennese waffles are so seductive. Will they survive till evening? Time will show.

Darth Mignus (on the job): Eat it, Puppet. There are more biscuits for me.

DianaSmex: Our special correspondent came out on a waffle on biscuits. Will he be able to find the murderer? Do not switch.

Is that the answer to this overwhelming unnecessity?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna