bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149314
 25.02.2018
xxxh: Small at the very height of the transitional age began to wonder. I mocked him once long and bored for some bitch. I say, as a child, I would have been scolded a hundred times for this, and I am a fool, scolded you. He built a row, his ears were wrapped to listen to this, then he dropped out of the room, I hear, he balls through the closets. I returned, with an eggy smell, the belt stretches, like you gave me birth, you kill me.
I say, is it serious?
It is like this on the pants:
And seriously!
I shrugged his shoulders and broke him from the heart.
Cry, shout... The boy was offended, did not expect it to hurt. Who then reconciled with him.
After a couple of weeks of quiet, the shootings began again. But I am smart, I am now not even hinting on the old grandfather's method, and morality did not start to read. I say calmly and firmly:
Bring your iPhone here and I’ll be back in a month.
Little with the head down comes out of the coinat, in a couple of minutes comes back and stretches my belt.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149313
 24.02.2018
How do people in a distant galaxy fly faster than the speed of light?
YYY: Very simple – they have a very small speed of light. Have you seen the rays fly?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №149312
 24.02.2018
Hello to you! Here nearby, in the midst of the bird's whistle and the unobtrusive whispering of the wind, as if lighting the green waves of the berry grove with a bagel, giving the heat like the summer sun at the height of the swollen, thirsty July summer, blowing out light smoke like the rising fog from the spread of the lake at dawn, frightening the forest inhabitants - working bobs, wise hives and careless whistlers, the house-museum of Prishvina burns. There is no need for firefighters anymore.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149311
 24.02.2018
I do not know reliably.
How to ride horses
Fury on the road.
Oksana with Olga

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149310
 24.02.2018
You know, and I like the new tea less than the old one. He is stylish, but unpleasant, there are sharp edges on the pen. And he is less. I will probably take him to work :)

YYY: Well, it often happens, beautiful, but unpleasant to touch.

XXX: It sounds like the perfect secretary choice for a husband)))))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149309
 24.02.2018
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! We all know how modest he is in celebrating personal things, so there will be no covered table with delicacies today.
zzz: xxx very well invented the euphemism to the word "Lobby".

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149308
 24.02.2018
Late in the evening, the friends of the institute drank vodka on the sporting field. There is a patrol station:
What are you doing? Do you drink alcohol?
“No, we’re doing sports,” Serega replied, having time to hide the bottle.
From Waikiki:
Are you going to get ten?
Let’s argue, who is more?
The first police officer raced fourteen times.
by Serena Slavić:
You are the deadest, be the first.
Slavik did not get offended, went on to the tournament and started...
Where the count exceeded twenty, and Slavik had no shadow of fatigue, the menta looked around and said:
– Okay, do it, – we sat in the car and left.
Slavik at the time was the KMS in sports gymnastics.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149307
 24.02.2018
I complained to the doctor about obvious hormonal swings of mood.
She, softly: You have to fall in love... and everything will pass.

I was confused. I did not expect such a delicate formulation for prosaic shortcoming...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149306
 24.02.2018
23 February, according to the old calendar, fell on 8 March, that is, it is the same holiday.

On an IT resource, it would be more logical to see the equation of Halloween to Christmas (OCT31=DEC25)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149305
 24.02.2018
Stay still! What you drink! It’s methanol, you see?! to
and no.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149304
 24.02.2018
Anunakh is an ancient skiff sword.
Are you talking about Akina?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №149303
 24.02.2018
The tsar summoned an American, a German and a Russian and said:
"Whoever moves the sea of shit on his car, the daughter to wives and half kingdoms to give.
The American on the Ford drove to the middle - drowned. A German man on a BMW 2/3 passed - drowned. The Russian says:
Why are you commanding us? What kind of king are you? Why should Americans and Germans listen to you at the same time? And what will your people say if you give half a kingdom to a man who just runs by the car? Pizzade, you are a fool, how did you become a king?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149302
 24.02.2018
A film where LGBT teenagers talk about their problems – LGBT propaganda

Advertising where men take women into the woods and press for unpleasant gifts is NOT a propaganda of violence.

(Russia in 2018)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149301
 24.02.2018
I thought. I stopped trusting books and personal development training. I am just angry with their boundless urapositivism, which reduces everything to the simple “must be simple.” Well there’s a banal “go out of your comfort zone,” for example. Fucking, I am uncomfortable, hunting to turn off and not turn on, only without causing trouble and sorrow to relatives. Where to get out of the comfort zone?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149300
 24.02.2018
Linux gamers prefer to play running games than games themselves.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149299
 24.02.2018
To get to heaven, you need to have hell patience.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149298
 24.02.2018
My husband wears a beard. But he himself rarely equates them, and most often I, with a whisper: "It looks like frost again!"I put him on a chair, grab the scissors and chest, and align the vegetation with him.
One day, I decided to watch how long he would grow before he took his own scissors. I waited a long time...until one evening he asked with outrage:
So, how long will I be craving?
So the haircut.
I am growing them for you. I used to like to make your cheeks...
Love is a strange thing, but it is.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №149297
 24.02.2018
Wisdom comes with years... In the army everyone counts the days before the dembel, noting in the calendar how much is left before the order... And only years after years you understand: two years without a wife, no parental gatherings in school, no shopping in the shops, no trips “to my mom”, no “plug a shelf”...
No, men: the army needs to be called after ten years of family life - there will be no escapist!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149296
 24.02.2018
by Miu-Miu
When we pack the food, my husband holds the door and I bring the bags. Always is. Sometimes in 3-4 walks. No, not to explain to everyone that I am a champion and he has both legs broken? It’s not me, if anything, I got that...there’s a spirit!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149295
 24.02.2018
XXX: Animal Protection Society will pay you back for this frog. The Geographical Society for the Globe!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna