bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №55832
 02.11.2011
In the anti-piracy department there is a pirate window.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №55831
 02.11.2011
I sit down sad. I ticked my navel - it became a bit of fun.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №55830
 02.11.2011
I am very demanding of myself. It is a pity that it is terribly not executed.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №55829
 02.11.2011
Mixing of Genres
The Black Sea coast of the Caucasus. A narrow mountain road. In front of the car that violated the rules, the inspector of enormous growth comes out majestically with a ruthless rod in his hand.
The captain, thirty years old, does not express anything good in his face. To meet him out of the car comes a man with a disarming radiant smile and a familiar face to pain.
The captain gave honor, presented himself monotonously and:
Driver, you violated the traffic rules.
Overcoming the prohibiting sign “three to twenty” in the zone. yours
Driving license please.
The driver smiled further:
“Earth, you didn’t recognize me!? to
The Captain:
- No, but when you give me your driver's license and we make
Protokoll, then I will begin to recognize you.
The Driver:
Why are you so strict? I am a Russian folk artist. I have broken, I admit.
But you understand, my colleague and I rush to the airport to meet the actress. The Cinema
We’re in your beautiful places, you know.
The Captain:
What is incomprehensible? Of course, I understand that you are making movies and that you are in a hurry.
I will try to fill out the protocol with all the
the possible speed. Please have a driving license.
The Driver:
Brother, have you not recognized me yet?
The captain looked closer:
No, I don't know, please have a driver's license and a license
of registration.
The driver is noticeably annoyed, but still not shutting off the smile from his face:
You are what? Look carefully, you have grown on my children since childhood.
“Equipage”, “Favourite Woman of Mechanic Gavrilov”
The captain is in the same icy tone:
"I'm very sorry, but I didn't watch, I was personally raised - "Terminator" and
“Robot Police,” and that’s why I need your driver’s license
Certificate...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №55828
 02.11.2011
The President made a visit to an internat for children with mental developmental delays. Teachers were urgently evacuated. Instead, the President was met by activists of the "Our" movement with balls and multi-colored flags.

The president did not notice the replacement.

But it was noticed by teachers and staff at the university - "We didn't have such idiots!"

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №55827
 02.11.2011
How much coal should I drink?
I am 1 tab. = 10 kg weight of body)
Favorite: fucking one drink is enough?
I: Do you weigh 10 kg? 6 to drink. Now throw and drink.
My favourite drink 4)
I: You are letting yourself.)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №55826
 02.11.2011
I want sushi (
I or the pizza!! to
It is delicious!!! to
I am very!!! to
Husband, as a normal pregnant woman, can you eat cucumbers?? to

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55825
 02.11.2011
I don’t like alcohol, I like what it does to me.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №55824
 02.11.2011
Cinderella rushed to the ball. It was five and eleven, and the raised horses were carried all over the pit. Suddenly, the horse turned into a rat, the mouse into a mouse, and the gold chariot into a pumpkin. Someone turned the clock to summer time.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №55823
 02.11.2011
Zzz: He is so fucking that on the "physical-culture-salut" he answers "truly!"

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №55822
 02.11.2011
I thought... for inets already as for the dose we pay)))) a little late already breaks)))

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №55821
 02.11.2011
I always knew that under the word "man's responsibility" women mean complete and unambiguous submission to themselves, fulfillment of their desires. Even if it’s a simple trick she won’t remember tomorrow. A man must do it! For example, what a man wants, he can forget, buried forever... offensive.
Before the wedding, all the girls are so gentle, kind, understanding. As soon as Mendelssohn sounded like that!
NATO does not know that the main tyranny is not in Libya, but at home!
WOW: I repeat again: take the child out of the kindergarten and go home! No friends and no beer.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №55820
 02.11.2011
I: Dear... I am pregnant. I have a pregnancy test under my nose.
He: Strange... It’s dry and doesn’t smell at all.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №55819
 02.11.2011
M: Girl, how old are you?
There will be 35
M is oh! You look so young!
As long as I am 15.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №55818
 02.11.2011
Judging by the sounds coming out of the pipe, a colleague sitting next to it advises on corporate law, and they in response cheerfully shout under the sounds of a bullshit.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №55817
 02.11.2011
Camper-1(06:10)>aga..burn such forums. I once read this one -) I sucked him for half an hour, my jaw still hurts, and he didn't say thank you.. left and didn't call! And advice on how to get revenge.)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №55816
 02.11.2011
Karoche, Ui, Izda and Jiggura.
yyyy:Oksan, you are like an adult girl - right to write shit shit D**rd

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №55815
 02.11.2011
XXX: When you’re going to be operated for the second time, it’s always worse. You know what the consequences are =(
YYY: Well, when you want to remove appendicitis for the second time...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №55814
 02.11.2011
I went to smoke on the balcony. The balcony is common, everyone smokes.
On the balcony stands and smokes a very beautiful girl and talks on the phone. Well, I think, now I will agree, I will meet, I will hear the dialogue:
And he is? mmm...
And she is? mmm...
Oh well you!! to

The desire to get acquainted immediately disappeared.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55813
 02.11.2011
Shishkin: And what do you think, if Boris stops drinking, they and Lola will divorce?

Zinger: I think if Boris stops drinking, they will finally meet Lola.

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