from the advertising agency's vacancy page =)

If you are:
You want to earn little.
Not Positive
Bringing home problems to work
You can’t drink so that it doesn’t affect work.
You smoke more packs of cigarettes a day.
Doing work inappropriately
Doing work slowly
You don’t have a propeller in the right place.
Younger than 18 or older than 55 years
You like to argue or argue at work.
Late to
You do not like your job.
You drink the cock you sit on.
You have no place in our RA!

One lecturer liked to ask his students the question: "How does a DC transformator sound?"
Some people tried and tried to describe...

It’s time for doctors to take on the programming slogan: “If it works, don’t touch it.”

<Alnair Lindalwe> yellow. For some reason, after every repair, a pair of gloves disappears.
<Alnair Lindalwe> In the depths of the car ))
<zaga> good that you didn’t become a surgeon

The Conqueror: Hello, what are you doing?

Atheas: I am falling. I did not sleep.

Enot Conqueror: Lucky, and I am arranging for work, I wait for an interview and try not to think about the toilet that I really want.

Don’t think about the toilet. Think of Angel.

The Conqueror: I don’t know who it is

Atheas: The highest waterfall in the world. It is located in the quiet mountains of South America. So thin and tall that the stream breaks down into millions of tiny drops that hit the rocks and cause a loud roar. Eternal Storm of Nature

Enot Conqueror: Thank you, now I will definitely need new shoes

Atheas: Enjoy it

We watch with mommy yesterday "The Avengers"... On the screen appears S.L. Jackson, Momma says: "Nifiga himself Bondarchuk burned".

From Habr. Discuss the closure of lurkmore. People are discharged from who works/blocked the site.

You, comrades, have just issued providers that work poorly, inoperatively, non-patriotically.
WOW:... or just keep common sense.
Zzz: Keeping common sense is illegal.

Too sad to be a joke.

The xxx:

After the mechanic, the carrier, the defender - a new film with D. Stetham "Discover, Zack's Slipper"

"Finish repair in the apartment - men, tell the plyze, if you need a grounding for the plate and oven (separate installation)"
The landing was invented by a coward. Do not land.

Are the Brothers Klitschko really brothers? Or just similar? And the smells? And the nurse?
With the Vachovsky brothers, it’s so hard.

Echo of Moscow: "Popular Internet resource "Lurkomorye" really got into the list of banned sites on the initiative of the State Control"
Started...

Go to the premiere of "Operations Argo". The moment when the all-powerful Ben Affleck tells six Americans how he will save them, one of them asks, “Who are you?”
From the room: "Is this Ben Affleck, you have not watched "Armageddon"?and "

The customer sends a drawing to be applied to the mirror "Drawing on the cupboard.JPEG ". Please send a picture in a vector, or you will have to pay for the drawing. In response we hear "Yes without problems" and after 2 minutes the soap comes a file called "Vector.JPEG"
That is shit! ?

Have you ever figured out the mirror lens? and :(
YYY: Why did you do that?
YYYY: Something is crushing there.
Yyy: xxx and now?
XXX: And now it's all difficult

I walked some summer evening on the street with a child in front of my house, as I suddenly see as on the 2nd floor from an open window leaves a tied condom and falls in front of me. I couldn’t leave such a barbaric shame without attention, but I didn’t want to pick up the condom. In fact, here the child asks "Daddy, and what has it fallen?". I answered something like "Uncle Kaku threw out". "Paaap, and let’s roll back what". Well, I thought, a sober thought. I took a board next to it, scratched a condom on it, took a brick, put a rod on it and charged the condom right into the window. This is hard to believe, but you can't imagine what exhausting cry "Blyayayad" came out of the apartment, had to take his son-in-law on his arms and take a quick step away.

Q: Do you know who you are?
M: The best thing that has happened to this world in the last 2,000 years!

xxx: if you connect the dildo and the perforator, the deflorator will get =)

YYY: I’m just embarrassed by one thing... How does that happen in your head?! to

I work in a cafe near the bread factory, during the march for bread I observed an interesting picture. Going into the reception room, full of loaders, the African-American, greeting everyone for the hand, gives out--"Well, we do?", a slight pause, and adds--"As a Negro". And then his flooding laughter. Everything just fell. The Negro even repeated the bis a few times.

I feel terribly old.
XXX: I was given by my daughter's classmate

I remember sitting in the mid-1970s on political information. The lecturer tells us that world Zionism is at the service of world imperialism. I tell him that it seems to me that, on the contrary, imperialism is at the service of Zionism. The grandfather thought and said:"And maybe you are right. I would like to consult with the Riksdag".