bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №11060
 12.10.2008
Added: 14 Jan 2007 23:06
Leksanders
And another funny case about GAI - in the Kaluga region I fly (as long as it is light to drive more) - suddenly - the seller of striped sticks - I look around the road like there are even rare houses, I try to remember - there was a sign about a settlement - I don't remember - I sit in a haishna "buchanka" - there just let some driver, who signs the protocol. Look at the documents, duty phrases - type well where so hurry - on the radar 141 km.h, I think shit, hit - I try well - I get 500 rubles - the captain's eyes become round and he starts to ball in his pockets - I think he will now get a gun and shoot me (the look is already painfully scared) - after which he gets a bunch of mint money and hears - I have no delivery, you can find 200 rubles - I understand that I am scared now - in a state of shaking I find 2 hundred, I get documents and wishes of a good way, I sit in my car (all took minutes 3-4), I leave and I start to rust. I have never even tried to give a gift. Moscow is another planet.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №11059
 12.10.2008
I almost broke out the “pizzetz” when the bride was wearing my ring.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №11058
 12.10.2008
The children on the compass launched some Lego world there. Lego humans run through the screen, and the whole screen with healthy red letters is written Thought:

"Enemies may have needed things".

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №11057
 12.10.2008
I saw here a terrible advertisement of cigarettes "PETR I - new lungs".
Apparently simply "The Ministry of Health warns" it seemed not terrible enough.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №11056
 12.10.2008
8th of October. He came to the universe for the first time for a couple, was 7 minutes late - the audience was empty. He called one group, and through the dream said, “Wait.” Five minutes later the preacher came and said that I had another ten minutes... I walked to the decanate without rushing, and looked at the name of the object. The next hour we talked t-a-thet, then came a sleepy fellow, another forty minutes later the same fellow, but the predicator at that time already said that for today is like everything.

The 6th course.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №11055
 12.10.2008
Tagged: hi
NN: YAH
CHC: What are you doing?
NN: Shealed ECH
Argentine: Manit Negro
Which is wow?
Q: Are you here?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №11054
 12.10.2008
A conversation with a loved girl who is sick and coughing:

SummeR (13:43:59 9/10/2008)
Shoot me, I can’t cough anymore.
Negative (13:44:52 9/10/2008)
Go to *
SummeR (13:46:27 9/10/2008)
I flow with blood*
Negative (13:48:38 9/10/2008)
Do you do what? *Takes with a stick*
SummeR (13:52:26 9/10/2008)
* cries and cries in convulsions
Negative (13:53:57 9/10/2008)
It continues to tick, it begins to like
SummeR (13:55:59 9/10/2008)
E E E E!
Negative (13:56:22 9/10/2008)
I am scared, who is there? O_O

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №11053
 12.10.2008
Roni
My cat got in my pants and ran away.

Roni
My pants run away.

Roni
I almost woke up.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №11052
 12.10.2008
I bought a cake in the dining room in the universe.To the cake I was given a paper tape (on the march so that I would not dirty my pencil) on which it was written: We went to the cemetery.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №11051
 12.10.2008
> My dad and I argued that if my quote reaches "top" then I will be bought a notebook!!! to
and gt;
> Please help me! It’s so boring without a noot at home. :)
and gt;
> and hello daddy :)

Does it lack brains?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №11050
 12.10.2008
Xgress: Standing in the sorting, we do a wet thing, and sorting a common 5 cabins, suddenly from one cabin is delivered an exhausting puck. From the neighbor’s cabin the question: Chewbacca?
I couldn’t go any further 😉

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №11049
 12.10.2008
Is it possible to filter citations with the brain?? to


[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №11048
 12.10.2008
An intellectual is someone who thinks he knows a lot.

A wise man is one who knows incomparably more than an intellectual.

He knows that he knows very little.

</PRE>

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №11047
 12.10.2008
Introduction

As you know, in Internet Explorer there is a tool "AutoFill",

for example, when a query is set on Yandex or Rambler, by the first letters

requests emerge previously enrolled requests, with matching initial

Symbols

In Google, when a set of requests as a hint pops up the most

popular queries with matching initial symbols that were

Google itself



So, the wife was confused by making soup from white mushrooms, and, for

lack of the correct recipe, sits behind the computer, opens Yandex and

How to cook " and so on.

Here I am present and I begin to explain that Yandex and Rambler do not run, but

Google now runs.

Wife obediently goes to Google (she is on it for the first time) and calls "How

Rightly...



There are about 20 tips, the first of them:

How to Kiss Right

How to properly do onanism

In the same spirit all the nonsense.



The wife turns her head to me and with rounded eyes asks:

"Are you interested in all these questions?and "



The curtain...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №11046
 12.10.2008
The son asks the father:

“Daddy, is it true that in the Union men did not know what the ‘clitoris’ was?

It’s true, my son, it’s true... It’s all leaked...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №11045
 12.10.2008
Reply to mail.ru
Question: I bought neodymium magnets and stuck eggs. What to do?

Answer: Heat the magnets to a high temperature. Magnetic properties will disappear and magnets will disappear. Use the obtained egg at your discretion.
More cool
Answer: Magnetize the eggs with the opposite magnets direction of the magnetic induction vector. The magnets themselves push away from the eggs. After that, the eggs should be decongested.

How to magnetize eggs?? to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №11044
 12.10.2008
No matter how the girl calls you: a rabbit, a cat, a tiger... still sometimes there is a feeling that you are a full deer)

c) the good

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №11043
 12.10.2008
You can go to the solarium, make hellish shopping, and get drunk with champagne at home.
You can drink cocktails with friends at night. And then to the club.
You can drink, smoke and kill with comrades. Wake up on Tuesday.
You can invite guests to poker twister alias and other entertainment.
You can pull someone out for coffee, and complain about life until morning.
You can ask them to go to the movies and then let them think about how to entertain me.
You can even dumbly pull someone out for a fight and like to forget until morning.

And you can just sit down and beat your butt on the wall, because the only option that warms the soul today is NOT DOS-TU-PEN.

I wrote this to a friend in Warcraft.
In response came - "Well, I understand, I was also not taken into the raid on Felmist".
I cry

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №11042
 12.10.2008
We blinded her from what was.
And then what happened to us!

(The World of the United States)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №11041
 12.10.2008
Loft: My friend and I came up with a pack of seeds to kill time. We sit on a bench (at the stop) and slide the seeds, and there came a pigeon, well, we threw him the seeds for the goodness of the soul. He squeezed them very quickly and we decided to throw one seed in different directions, and we watched this pigeon run there and there (the people at the stop did the same thing). Then, naturally, there were more pigeons, and a friend and I began to argue about the seed which of the pigeons hid the seed... In the end, each of those who stood at the stop chose a pigeon, and when his pigeon won, he distributed the seed to everyone. In the end, 10 people came late to work.

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