The best years are the years you don’t notice.

The commander of the 201th brigade of anti-submarine ships caperang Mikhail Leopoldovich Abramov (in the people - Leopardych) was a creature of evil and petty. Although he grew up later to the Chief of Staff of the Navy and three-star Admiral. He himself liked to say about himself, "I am not evil, just evil and my memory is good."
He had a remarkable ability to turn any meeting, any “running flight” and any “five-minute” where he dominated, into an endless chewing of the sins of the subordinates. The sins of real, imaginary and them, Leopardych, suspects. To get so tired that everyone has already forgotten what they gathered for. But everybody from such an event must have gone out in all holes.
On one of the beautiful autumn days of 1995, the large anti-submarine ship "Admiral Panteleev" entered the sea to deliver an artillery task.
For Panteleyev, the task was repeatedly complicated by the fact that all the shooting leadership had just entered its positions. The new was the commander of the missile artillery BCH-2, and although he served on the same ship as a combat for almost six years, but was by origin not an artillery, but quite the opposite - a rocket officer.
And the artillery combat, that is, the one to whom the pedal of the ballet was directly pressed, was an entirely green lieutenant who barely got out of Kaliningrad’s “unnamed ballerina.” Our westernmost naval school was so named because all decent institutions were named by someone’s name, and only Kaliningrad did not receive such an honor.
In the Navy, such lieutenants are said to be "only from the tree." For him everything was the first time: the Far East, the Pacific Ocean, the sea exit, combat shooting. And he also had the absolute confidence in his own strength and skills, which was inherent in all lieutenants, although he was taught, as in all Soviet schools, what was removed from the arms long before his, lieutenant, was born.
And then Leopardych stopped half an hour before leaving the steamboat, although he did not gather, and nobody was waiting for him. And, of course, when the ship approached the border of the field, it called on the ship's leadership to "fastly give the last instructions." And, of course, these brief instructions, as usual, flowed into a long and tumultuous chewing of the last, pre-last, and all previous sins of the commander, commander, and commander of BP-2.
And in the meantime, you know, the ship is floating. And a lieutenant-combat somewhere at a depth of three meters below the waterline, on his combat post, knocks a pipe and waits for a command. Meanwhile, the fire department is gradually moving into the blind sector. And Mikhail Leopoldovich entered the railway, and he overwhelmed the ship's chiefs. And you won’t say to the entire commander of the division, “Dumb! Now the polygon will end, you will have to unfold, and re-introduce all the amendments to the art system!"
And this is when Leopardych arrived before the marines on Panteleyev in general, and in BCH-2 in particular clean the shoes and repair the skins - babahnulo.
Everyone was muted. jumped out on the walkway. They see an interesting and easily explained picture. The second tower, from the cannon of which the fresh smoke winds, looks, as is appropriate, to the side, to the side of the field. The first tower looks nowhere. That is, it stands in its starting position and targets the course of the ship. But the smoke from her rifle also blows right. Since the lieutenant was taught on those systems that were removed from service in 1965, he simply did not synchronize the towers with the new system.
Here, of course, under the arms of Leopardych (“You can’t even shoot normally, fools!”) everyone rushed to the monitor of the locator. Let’s see what’s in front of us, where the 100-millimeter combat projectile flew. In front was the land, and the coastal village of Romanovka. True, it was 25 kilometers before, while the maximum range of the AK-100 according to documents was 21,500 meters. Everyone was exhausted.
The lieutenant-combat was pulled out of the ship's subsoil for a warm whip, and given to eat the Leopardyche. They shot quickly and went home.
At home, in Vladivostok, the ship on the wall was awaited by a pale brigadier. He had already had time to call from the regional administration of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, and with a stealthy voice asked, did not accidentally the brave sailors have any shots? Since the shootings were planned, the division guard immediately turned on the fool, and promised to connect with the comedian as soon as he appeared.
connected with the compound. During the conversation between the two colleagues, an interesting thing emerged. If none of the navy accidentally burned on Romanovka, then the brave militia is drawn up a real and solitary terrorist act with all the consequences. Although nothing terrible happened - the bath with an explosive wave broke, and the bull, peacefully chewing the grass, a direct hit. They reached a consensus: not to start panic on the globe, eliminate the consequences by the crew.
Further, the ship's commander listened to a brief (for a clock) lecture from Leopardych in the flagship cabin about the lieutenant butters shooting the bulls from 25 kilometers away. On the ship at this time were gathered "unhandy" sailors who could hit the nail, the supplier was sculpted on a hose and a condensate, and the starper pretended how much to take alcohol with him. With a monthly ship rate of 236 kilograms, any self-respecting starter always has a barge of at least half a ton. The only question was how much would be needed?

The delegation arrived in the village. The sailors restored the rotting bath and filled the wreath of the epicenter, which came to the outskirts of the village. The grandmother, the owner of the innocently killed bull, was immediately given "for moral damage" to the bull's weight and the bull's weight without measure. But most importantly, they gave out 10 liters of alcohol – and here it began...
Having learned that the sailors had brought alcohol, the whole village broke up to collect the shards of the projectile and shake out the windows in their cellars. With these fragments, local residents arrived at the starpome with a demand for satisfaction in liquid form. “And the bull-something Anufrievna we already loved, as we loved!” – it sounded from all sides.
Starpom beast, seeing the alcohol stocks melt, but could do nothing. The instructions from the commander before the departure were extremely brief and clear: “If at least one blade ever, at least somewhere...” So all eight 40-litre bidons and split. A long celebration began in Rome.
You ask, what did you do with the lieutenant? He hasn’t been a lieutenant for a long time. He is already a captain of the first rank and head of staff of the 201th Division of anti-submarine ships of the Pacific Fleet. And it was with him that I agreed first to visit the Admiral Tributs by Moscow journalists, and then to visit the Omsk Avangard together with Mr. Rzhiga on the Marshal Shaposhnikov (because my Panteleyev was both times on combat service).
Only the chief of staff in the division is called "Sniper". Almost no one knows where that name came from. Twenty years have passed... Since then, no one has managed to roll a bull with a 100-millimeter fusible projectile directly from 25 kilometers.
Are you weak?

Maxim Lebedev

It’s good that childhood dreams don’t come true, otherwise I’d be 35 now, I’d have a black vase 2109 with tinted glasses, and I’d sell cartridges for Dendy and Sega on the market.

At breakfast, the grandson called his aunt bl@dyu and immediately received a backpack from his dad.

But not very. as agreed.

here here :

About fatigue and reluctance to cook...yes, it’s easy to cook pasta! Wash the bathroom for 10 minutes if it is bright. Wash for 15 minutes and wash the floor for 7 minutes. Just to find strength and want to do it all, I have to lie on the couch all Saturday!

And to me, to want to do it, not to force myself, life is not enough. The sofa rolls, yes.

In other words, about propaganda. Somewhere there the dog stumbled and dug out that it didn’t work quite. The heterosexual is quite a physiological reaction, and how much a natural male with elastic ruby male ass does not show, and do not take a movie with a homotrach, and he is all looking at delicious tits. But shit, propaganda, softly and unsubstantially blur the boundaries. And why then, given the quite rich range of beautiful inflatable babes and the pressure of traditional heterosexual family values in the same movie, not a lot of gay and lesbians are rushing back into the heterosexual to disrupt. And this is even in the presence of a percentage of them with a sense of guilt and disgust for themselves, because it is not the norm, disease (what?Bad or shameful? Again it is physiology.

A practising psychiatrist talks about the advantages of his profession:

dpmmax: At all requests of neighbors to consult about ulcers, hemorrhoids, hypertension, pregnancy, you can safely say: I am a psychiatrist, here you go crazy - contact me.

The Rider

Give up all the small skills. Such a feeling that in order to drive on the mechanics, you need to start at 6, then to the university and would be good later in the graduate school. People write and learn longer.
On the machine it is easier.
It is much more important to learn to observe the GDPR and behave on the road not as a fool. Because that's what you can see right away, and what a box is there - all the shit.

I work in the office when I go into the toilet cabin and close the door behind me, the pen inside is wet sometimes. Everything would be nothing, but there are no shells in the cabin, pure push and vandalism. Every kind of ugliness comes to mind.

But today came the day that this mystery was revealed to me.

I stand waiting for the line in the toilet, I hear the water already descending in the toilet and our staff comes out with a wet hand and scratches their fingers on each other.

I: Galina, and what did you wet your hands there?

Q: Well, while you wash after you, the water runs clean from above, and I rinse it faster.

I am 0_0

Swimming in bl.

Everything stolen from us

Afraid of the cold,
I bought a dog, I bought a dog.
At that doha gave me a mah-
Doha does not heat the nirvana.
This is not the 1960s, i.e. Maybe in the 1960s, but not in the 20th century. Since there is a record of these couplets (misleadingly called “Eva’s couplets,” but this is a different story) for PHONOGRAF, dated to 1912. And already then it was a baian, because some of the words (elda, mudé) were considered archaicisms at the time. Per the first KE was written by Barkov himself or even "Our all" - such proofs were counted behind him.

Simpsonita: I also have a child quietly watching a zombie bite a person’s head, commenting “he needs more brains”, and the little pony in the movie did not watch, because there Iscorka offended Pinkie Pai and she cried for 15 minutes.

"Let’s count it up, the cowboy. With you."
Such storytellers usually forget about any ‘minor’ circumstances.
The story of my youth - the 90s, the youth of the same age 18-25 years, living in the country of elves is extremely few - the clash with reality quickly resounds. A girl came to our company, which is called "packed" - an apartment-machine, only after a jurfak, a senior lawyer, a low salary in dollars. Particularly, this was not shrinking, but always answering questions, say, "all by herself, with her labor, mind and workability." The girl at the same time is quite sympathetic, so all the free guys from the company (including me) went to her, no one achieved reciprocity, from which they concluded that the girl successfully found a daddy - and calmed down.
And somehow completely accidentally it became clear that: she is a late and extremely long-awaited child of very well-to-do parents, who are in a painful divorce; the apartment was presented to her by her father for adulthood, the car by her mother for graduation from the university (or somehow the opposite is not the case), and she works in the office, where the owner is the father, and the general director is the mother. When she was generally polite enough to hint that this is not ever everything itself, the outrage was simply universal, with a complete breakdown of relationships - no one of us has seen it since then.
And you are here with your arithmetic and vegetable bases.

Lilofeia: No, we have these role-playing games. Instead of fire sex, half roasted, like a pollution. My husband broke into my bedroom with his cowards down, waving a huge inflatable squat, while he joyfully spoke to me "Fuck!!"

The most natural strawberries, grown in the wild in an ecologically clean area, contain more sodium benzoate than is allowed to use in the preservation of products.

and Eureka! I now understand why the strawberries are placed in the fermented cabbage. I was naive to think it was for the taste. Our ancestors weren’t fools, they knew it.

The same feeling...

That feeling when something is broken, you do not know that you are carrying all the wild. Everyone looks at you like an idiot.
But a second before the master's lust they called you suddenly understand what the problem is and right from the threshold you begin to discuss with the master the essence of the problem and how to solve it.

This is the aura of the specialist - next to the real specialist, even the most professional becomes smarter. Through a wall and a closed door.

From Habr:
Why do many developers not like Java?
What makes a good code good?
XX: What have you learned over the past week?
xxx: Explain the Unicode or transactions in the SUBD to a five-year-old child.
XXX: Your last achievement, which you are proud of?
xxx:...<a lot like this in the article>...
Yyy: God, no, such questions I would least like to hear in a technical interview.
YYY: Although... for nonsensical corporate competitions, they will agree.
Zzzz is late. Thousands of HR have already copied an article into the file "Questions for a computer worker's interview.doc".

The ordinary, most natural strawberries, grown in the wild in an ecologically clean area, contain more sodium benzoate than is permitted to use in the preservation of products. If the strawberries are driven by permits for the content of preservatives, it should be prohibited, it is over preservatives.

My husband works in the hospital. I sent a photo of the announcement today:

"All men get gifts on February 23 until 15.00 at the infection department!"

Below is the mark:

"And why not in a skin-veneric dispenser?"

Calculation of this economics.

The bread is from baked bread, it tastes better.

My girlfriend bought a baking cake for £500. We live next to a store where you can buy bread for 49 pence, which is cheap and convenient. But we will cut off the cost of the oven – in just four years, if we double the consumption of bread, we will receive the ingredients for free and we will not take into account the cost of labor.
I just want to say I love you, Caroline, but fuck your mother.

How about negotiations?
It was not even time to go out to suck.
Is there a result?
You have chosen me, haha.
and Graz!! to
and passive). Do you know what has swung the cup of weights in our favor? ? The boss boiled the tea in his cup with Patrick and the SpongeBob))) German grit : "I see your professionalism and positive attitude!")