bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №72813
 10.11.2012
Student: Why do we spend 5 minutes on an oral account at the beginning of each couple? Half a couple is wasted.
Teacher: 5 minutes = half pairs... Do you still doubt that you need an oral account?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72812
 10.11.2012
“I’ve noticed that some people use the ‘suka’ instead of the ‘black’ and the ‘black’ instead of the points.

You are right to fucking.

[ + 107 - ] Comment quote №72811
 10.11.2012
Married to a German. We live in Germany.
He’s in the room, I’m in the kitchen. Here I hear the thunder of shootings and or in Russian - "Cover! The back! The outbreak! Go away!"
I am: O_o!!!!! to
I run into the room - and this ass is kidding the Russians! Destroy your lunch and translate it to me, or I don’t understand what the commander wants of me. (and under the nose) how well I married that...."
The fucking...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №72810
 10.11.2012
Making a fly an elephant, they don't think about where to put his excrete afterwards.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №72809
 10.11.2012
Tonight’s Youth Radio Show. In the studio comes the essay: "My boyfriend asked to give her a cat, found such a beautiful one, and she changed her mind and does not want to take him. What to do with the animal?”
The Leader:
Well, I think the animal needs to be returned... to the parents, and the cat left to yourself.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72808
 10.11.2012
Yesterday was in tram with stretching, row and whistleblowing. In front of her was a roasted bleach with wrapped bandages with the middle fingers of her hands. In both hands! God is there and He hears me.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72807
 10.11.2012
The BDSM community:
XXX: Looking for Kiev
I am looking for a slender lower dog.
zzz: I am looking for a normal Verkhovna Rada (Ukraine)

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72806
 10.11.2012
The Friday. On the way home, he decided to take a beer. Going into our local camp, there are a few guys-Tajik, owners and sellers in conjunction.
A friend right from the threshold: “Hello, four black goats.”
After a long pause and expression:
"Hm... Good night The goat is dark. and beer. Three banks"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №72805
 10.11.2012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx: here
Fish: here is what?
Fish: Is that all?
Fish: Is that crazy?
Fish: Sorry
XXX: Is that what happiness was?? to
The Fish: A Joke
Fish: harmless as a handicapped prostitute
Fish: I’m starting to understand why you’re so rarely writing to me.


[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72804
 10.11.2012
The book seller "All the secrets of the Internet":
And you will also learn how to freeze your operating system! After freezing you will be able to visit any websites, catch any viruses, download any programs, give the computer to children - they can do anything there. After freezing your OS will be invulnerable!"

My brain...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72803
 10.11.2012
At high gas prices, cars should be distributed free of charge.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №72802
 10.11.2012
From Habr:

"...to subscribers of mobile telephone network"

“Do you hear, kid, is there a radio telephone device for installing a radio communication session with another subscriber of a mobile radio telephone network?”

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №72801
 10.11.2012
My friend gave me a very expensive ring. In the evening I roll in front of my husband, he diligently pretends that he does not notice the ring, which I could not buy. I ask :
“Why don’t you care where I got my ring from? Has anyone given it to me? A man for example?
Congratulations, my husband reacted flegmatically.
Everything is known. I go to bed and say to my husband in the back:
You don’t love me at all?
He breathes hard, turning his face:
Where did the ring come from?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №72800
 10.11.2012
Statement by VKontakte:
Do you use social networks?
Yes – 10%
No – 90%

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №72799
 10.11.2012
"About childhood disappointments"

In the kindergarten we were remarkably trolled by one educator, said who first will fall asleep during a quiet hour, so I will put a film with new cartoons in my sleep and every time I woke up, I was tickly upset that some snuca again fell asleep before me.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №72798
 09.11.2012
Julia is
I yesterday when viewing the house 2 computer cut off showed the blue screen some letters and restarted and showed the house 2 again)))

Julia is
What was it?

Palyan
He left troubled.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72797
 09.11.2012
I work in the printing. our phone is apparently written by mistake on the website of the Uzi-diagnostics center (error in one digit) we are occasionally called with the question whether we are doing all sorts of different Uzi.
The morning. The Monday.
call - "Hello, do you do vaginal uzi?"
pause.... - no we can only print everything you take.)))
One hour later, a drunken man’s voice called:
And you’re doing a freeze that’s there...
- No, we can only a vaginal uzi...and the wild rust of the whole office. There was a Dirk behind his back.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №72796
 09.11.2012
Sometimes it seems that Mrs. Fate is mocking some people. There are a lot of young girls at work. Many people get married and change their surnames. For example, there was Yaceva - became Guseva.. type grown up... But the bowl of all gave the girl with the name Tupitsyn, marrying Durkin!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №72795
 09.11.2012
Comment on the topic of the delivery of the Vasovskaya Grant to Europe

The Wind Boy
She hasn’t recovered from our tanks yet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №72794
 09.11.2012
XXX is set. My toilet broke.
Zzzz: You fed him up.

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