bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149174
 19.02.2018
News: "Scientists have created a hybrid of man and sheep"
Nastya: And so the lambs are enough, and they still artificially bring them out.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149173
 19.02.2018
And what you did at 16, my chocolate, is great. You FZ "on education in the Russian Federation open", rabbit, and count.

Chel, forgive me, when were you born? I am in the 80s. In October. 1st class is 7 years. And there was such a school program - "1-3". You’ve gotten rid of it, sofa special. 1-3 is when the program of 4 primary classes take place in 3 years, and then immediately go to 5th grade. I finished school at 16. Calculate it yourself if you don’t. Just believe that the education system changes with time, as do the laws.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149172
 19.02.2018
xxx: Who is closer to you, the liberals (gay on the spotlight) or the communists (calling for 60 years and the war on the United States)?

zzz: gays on the edge of norms - can wash dishes, clean the house, cat to walk. This is legalized slavery. Calling up to 60 is also the norm - I don't want to go at 18, but to retirement is closer just to do not figure.

XXX is serious.

Zzz: How serious can it be in the circus?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149171
 19.02.2018
Gogen had five children.
To transmit the father’s gene.
Not every woman.
Able to hold Gog.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №149170
 19.02.2018
As long as you are on a submarine, you must love your homeland continuously.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149169
 19.02.2018
My dad has an engineer, but on off-time this is not extended for some reason. Recently, for example, decided to bake pins in honor of Maslenica and by a miracle did not kill - first decided to rinse the mixers of the mixer under a stream of water, then quickly melt the butter in the microwave (without directly unfolding the foil).

Mother, shrinking from all this, proposed to burn his document on passing the course of safety technology instead of chubbling.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149168
 19.02.2018
Teaching in Honey. 6 the course. Doctors are practically ready. Favorite question for a splash - what is the name of the splash between the hemispheres? No one remembers. and none. They had to do so much that the anatomy (GOS exam, by the way) - they do not remember completely. I don’t remember pharmacy. and biochemistry. and histology. But it was all that they had to do, because there was nothing to understand! From now on, 600 pages. The textbook. Or about 1200. Practically by hand. And they do not remember. Particularly, they don’t remember the great ones. They gave up and immediately forgot. Three men remember longer. But the excellence, not all, but many - master the ability to diagnose, think immediately about the diagnosis, and become good doctors. The trio is not. He was sick and lost the ability to analyze.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149167
 19.02.2018
You do not understand! This is the smoothie of society!
Aaa... fat...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149166
 19.02.2018
Once in one magazine came a collection of biographies of poets of the Silver Age without special notes. Not boring people lived, I must say. Balmont was thrown out of the window of the 3rd floor naked to his wife, but remained alive and chrome as Byron, Block literally pushed his own wife to the novels on the side, Mayakovsky and Briki with their high relationships, Yesenin with his public scandals and fights with Duncan, a widespread passion in the poetic environment of cocaine and morphine... In general, Akhmatova “when you knew from what sores the poems grow, not knowing shame” played for me a few new colors.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149165
 19.02.2018
For some reason, my man thinks that if he is stronger and can raise his hand on me, saying all sorts of ugliness, nothing threatens his toes.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149164
 19.02.2018
My mother is retired, but she still works. She was tired of another hobby: painting. She had to learn to shoot. He goes to courses of possession of firearms, pleased to tell what he shot this time, what he studied and where he got. By the way, it does not get very bad.
At work, her colleague learned about the hobby and complained that she also recently shot in a tirade at a shopping center to win her daughter a soft toy, but did not win. The child is upset and asks for a toy.
Out of curiosity, my mom decided to see what kind of tires were there and shot this damn toy from the first time. The toy was presented to a colleague and then handed over to the happy child with the words - it is an aunt from work shot for you in that thread.
All would be nothing, but the toy was taken with it to the kindergarten and everyone was told this story. Now the whole group requires the aunt from work to shoot and they also have such a toy.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149163
 19.02.2018
> such myths as "the real man" and "the real doctor"

Here you get all the power from doctors like now programmers. You come to him with food poisoning, and he sows your ass and sows lightning into your belly, because "the shit is an outdated paradigm, she is out of how many years", and that after every shit you need to wash the abdominal cavity with antibiotics, it is nonsense, modern hardware has enough power.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №149162
 19.02.2018
If you are more successful in life, build a table longer, not a fence higher.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149161
 19.02.2018
Teisha gave here recently, I blinked my eyes half an hour later.
In the words of the spouse...
Never before had I noticed that my mother had such a pathological hatred for energy-saving bulbs and water counters! Every time she arrived, she walked from room to room, grumbling at the blindingly cold light of new lamps and bursting herself under her nose, which, say, is why and walk pale all that there is no sun in the house from ordinary lamps! And water counters are her personal enemies! I tried for a long time to experience in my mother the reasons for this, gently say, inadequate attitude toward domestic progress, but she first denied everything, denied it, until she finally endured and told me everything, as in the spirit, why my face was stretched and my eyes were shaken.
It turns out that counters and bulbs save money that I can spend on babs, cabbages and other gambling!
The poor man...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149160
 19.02.2018
PyeongChang reports that someone ran around the city with a bear, singing "oh, frost, frost", and beat the mouths of the Americans. But they were unable to identify because the man was carrying a neutral flag.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149159
 19.02.2018
xxx: There was an experimental release of the open implementation of the Win32 API - Wine 3.1. Since the release of version 3.0, 29 error reports have been closed and 346 changes have been made.
Wine 3.11 for Workgroups.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149158
 19.02.2018
The difference of generations. Mother M and I.
I: Did you see it? There one man launched into space a car with a mannequin of an astronaut and is conducting a live broadcast on the Internet.
M: I was completely confused with my internet. How will he send you a car into space, he has his own rocket?
I: You won’t believe...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149157
 19.02.2018
Lions are really good lovers. Of all cats, only they mate without morbidity and bite, and with tenderness and pleasure.

Were they going to feed their girls if they were fucking fucking.
Here, either earn money or fuck well, but do something anyway.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149156
 19.02.2018
Apartment-apartment, but really, there was no reason to give birth. Accidental flight - and here is the unnecessary child, preventing to earn, and terribly interfering with personal life. First, the child will genuinely love you, and try his best to get a response to his love. He will not anything, and will realize that he is in your life and in the apartment - superfluous and unnecessary. It will get angry, it will start to revolt with different outcomes...I am one of those. And for a very long time, years before 15, I could not understand, how do I study, win the Olympics, play sports, help at home, why is my mom always dissatisfied and scandals at home? But Serega from the neighboring entrance and learns worse, and drinks, and stunned his classmate - and his parents love him? It was so offensive. has gone. It ended sadly for my mother. I slept with anger that I was fine. Yes it happens. She never rejoiced in my successes, but was happy to believe any bad news about me.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149155
 19.02.2018
>> Grow up to grow a responsible, self-sufficient, purpose-oriented person and be proud of them from the heart.
Not just to feed the useless multi-eater, which in addition to the right shakes.

It is so cute!
I am very proud of you, my useless, multi-eating fuck! Today you are 18, your things are on the threshold, don't forget to lock behind you. Yes, and the garbage at the same time."

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