bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135081
 22.10.2016
Today, the largest DNS provider in the U.S. has been purchased from radio stations and refrigerators. How terrible to live.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135080
 22.10.2016
Discussions of believing cosmonauts at the ISS on the hub:

GreatRash: It would be fun to see a Muslim on the ISS: you fly like this, and here the hop is a prayer, and the vanity begins... the carpet is not completely dispersed, Mecca is constantly moving...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135079
 22.10.2016
Five years ago, there were normal e-cigarettes, which gave a little smoke (pardon, steam), no more than ordinary papyrus, and did not disturb anyone. What inflamed consciousness invented these infernal units, instantly submerging the whole street in the stinking (pardon, aromatized) fog? Why can’t smokers find a way to get their dose of the drug without entering anyone’s personal space with smoke, steam, or smell? Why not a drinking solution of nicotine, a chocolate bar with nicotine, subcutaneous injection, a enema finally?! There are so many ways, you just have to set a goal!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135078
 22.10.2016
The counting

Donzova can be read, but only once and the first few books - I remember, cuddled like crazy, it is really funny... but then it becomes boring, everything repeats.

Coelho read once when a colleague forced me into a book with the words "read! It is such! So is it!" I read it and was surprised – what is it??? Later I read somewhere a beautiful definition that put everything in place: Coelho is a philosophy for blondes.
I’m a blonde, but not that much.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135077
 22.10.2016
+ in the collection, if there is no more:

The Bloomberg Index

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135076
 22.10.2016
Many of us have encountered or at least heard about the “presence effect” – when non-working equipment/programs start to work at one approximation of the “offset”.
A girl brought a power bank (washed in a cage and dried on the battery for a couple of days), I ticked - is expected to not work. I understand and not badly cut about the metal body. The batteries and payload are sadly oxidized a little more than entirely. Sitting the bleeding finger, I tick again. The LCD screen of the bank joyfully shows full working capacity. A week without complaints. Now he has the nickname "Zombie", well, and I have no other than "Necromancer with a drum".

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135075
 22.10.2016
Well, here is a new deposit from the Ministry of Labour: they are going to introduce a fine of 20,000 from officially unemployed. I understand: it’s because of the annoying news that another unemployed man has been caught on a lamuorgini for many millions of dollars and has stolen hundreds of thousands of euros from his car. But most of the people on such "ma-squatches" no way pull. Where does the unemployed get money?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135074
 22.10.2016
"Love, let's get a mouse, she's so cute, and there will be no allergies to her.
“Let’s go, only my mom is afraid of mice, I’m afraid she won’t go to us then...
We’ll get a lot of mice. We will have a mouse house.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135073
 22.10.2016
I am ashamed to go out to the store with my wife.

How many women are embarrassed to go out with their husbands?
or men do not get old, all the beautiful people who look after themselves, never get sick and never lose an erection to death.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №135072
 22.10.2016
>>> The Russian city of Krasnodar was played by African Americans.

It is there in the USSR that they are African Americans, and here in Russia they are called Negroes. We have never oppressed Negroes with slavery, so this word is not a sign of discrimination.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135071
 22.10.2016
My father asked, holding a bag of sausages in his hand:
I’ve been there for so many years, but what kind of bird is this?
What a?
- It is written there "meat of bird of fur"

And here I understand that the essence of the mechanical decomposition of the meat of the bird...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135070
 22.10.2016
Not repeating is dangerous.
A friend told me how he raised his neighbors. They had a dog, but nobody wanted to walk with her, they just opened her door to the entrance and she was joking on the site. So he gathered her fucking, knocked on the door and when they opened, he threw them fucking into the apartment and spoke: "Look, your dog has lost!" They are now walking with the dog." from Yapa.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135069
 22.10.2016
I need funding.
1 euro is sufficient for 1 euro
When can you translate?
ZZZ: in 5 minutes
zzz: translated
zzz: "I need 1k euros as a first step"
XXX: Okay I’m starting
Zzzz: I’m waiting for a new version.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135068
 22.10.2016
When you’re around, I’m getting all wet.

yyy: Is it because of my pumped muscles and burning desire eyes? and ;)

XXX is no. You spit when you talk.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135067
 22.10.2016
D: Fuck, we are not perfectionists.
D: because we are guided by the principle "as long as the other also has everything fucking, I do not have everything so fucking, and in general everything is normal".
D: Perfectionism (c)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135066
 22.10.2016
I imagine: a guy with a grandmother reading Donzov or Kaeljo and a younger twelve-year-old sister, fascinated by vampire sentimentalism, invited such a literary-trepidant lady to her, she saw in the sorting a book of any set and fell all into a deep fainting)))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №135065
 22.10.2016
In the new logo of the NIH Aeronautics, the aircraft crashes into pieces.
“But in the old naphyg reduced half Asia, a good piece of South America, and threw Alaska to hell. With such views on modern geography, Aeronautics has the right to have any opinion about aviation.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135064
 22.10.2016
I know I missed something (work and all that). Where is that goat?(Timor, who) Did Amur eat him (i.e. the tiger)??? Why do you keep silent? – Why do you keep silent?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135063
 22.10.2016
xxx: and Lecha is in charge of a brigade of five wealthy testers. Let us call him Wyland.
YYY :?? to
XXX: The buffer manager.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135062
 22.10.2016
Seven children
Shame to go to the store.
and Prosperity

The question :)

And if you have such protective well-being, where are babysitters, chefs and other people who help a woman?
Do you know the history well? Did you know that when women gave birth to many children, a crowd of people from several generations lived in the house who took care of children, if we talk about peasants without hired nurses?
Did you estimate the cost of the project before producing seven children? In all plans? Interested in the practice of similar cases?
And she was so abruptly exactly after the seventh broke up, with the six, everything was still fine? Or did you just catch up and realize what was happening?
Has anyone told you about contraception?
And what was the idea at first, why seven?
7 is enough, or do you want more?

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