bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №21898
 28.10.2009
XXX: How is it?
YYY: RJM
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Name of the eye. Dacha first printed Okkalaz, then I said she was wrong and she reprinted Okkalaz.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №21897
 28.10.2009
I am a barman. There are two guys in our cafe. One - a high-impact bodybuilder, relief muscles, sunshine, fashionable haircut, beard - not to say that macho, but so, under the alpha male cuts - constantly clings the female and is rarely rejected. The second guy is lower in height, widespread in bones, with a light belly, with no noticeable appearance, except for the forever laughing eyes and the behavior of a joke-gayer, amicably slandering others in response to their comments about his appearance and laughing at himself. He is extremely polite with everyone and does not build a macho from himself.
One day, the second was sitting at the table with some sweet lady. She came first and tried to get to know him. Received an ordinary refusal – coffee in the mouth and a delicious slice, and then burned out:
Here is the shit!
The second said politely:
I would have paid more attention to the choice of words.
The first, the beast, takes the second for the chest and runs the whole hall:
What is? Will I be taught by a fat man with a mistake instead of a fucker?
The second, without any visible effort, pronounces a compressive capture with a spinning tone:
But I don’t get up on men.

[ + 62 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21896
 28.10.2009
I saw the picture yesterday:
The palace was standing and shaking the tree until there was not a single leaf left on it. Today the hard drivers went away.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №21895
 28.10.2009
In contact with:
With you will be friends Maxim Serov
Date of Birth: 1 July 1996
Activity: Player in the football club of Himki
Favorite Books: Thin with Big Pictures

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №21894
 28.10.2009
D.AThe action is ongoing, ambulances approach nightclubs and all those who want to be tested for HIV. They came to us too.
D.A: a miracle is coming to me, one of us, it’s power checked, shakes on the shoulders and orets 'Ura, you can fuck me!!!O O O O O O O O

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21893
 28.10.2009
Hett: At work, the door is closed by 3 locks. All the locks look the same, the keys too. I went to the fortress every day to play :(

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №21892
 28.10.2009
Well, the teachers will be recruited to the school... The new board of directors on the OBJ... as recently he gathered us to say that such a number needs to appear in the military committee. Not everyone came by himself, and Obžeshnik uttered a murderous phrase: “Rise up, who is not!” and when he saw that no one stood up, he uttered an even more funny phrase: “What is all here?” and “Sizdec...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №21891
 28.10.2009
The most delicious thing in tea is a hot cup.

[ + 93 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21890
 28.10.2009
Q: Would you suck for a million dollars?
WOW : Yes. Then I would kill him and no one would know.
Oh, and couldn’t you just kill and take the money? and :-)
Fuck it...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №21889
 28.10.2009
The note:

Wake me up tomorrow at 7 a.m.
The second time at 7:15

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21888
 28.10.2009
Somebody will say what mysterious "Chu-E-Fa" we all talked in childhood when we fell down on "the stone-blade-paper"?

From childhood, the question does not give peace.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №21887
 28.10.2009
I: We are inviting you...
In the middle of the week, what?
I: No for the weekend.
He: So say, or I almost dropped the beer...

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №21886
 28.10.2009
On a local website:

At the intersection of the station collided a bus and two lighthouses.

Here are the stones:

by The Reader Vs, 10/25/2009 - 20:26
My dad saw the accident. It’s a shame that it doesn’t happen on the roads.

Reply to
by The Reader Pnd, 10/26/2009 - 14:19
My friend’s daddy’s friend, too, has seen this accident.

Reply to
by The Reader Pnd, 10/26/2009 - 14:56
I am Dad. I saw the accident. Horrible what is being done...

Reply to
by The Reader Vtr, 10/27/2009 - 08:08
I saw Dad. by UJOS!


[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №21885
 28.10.2009
XXX: How is the weather?
Tagged: cold
Xxx: a jump approximately?
It’s pretty cold in the shirt xD

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №21884
 28.10.2009
Kirill
Fuck, I am a shit. Shortly I got a scarf in the bathroom, hair all kinds, and so on. Vantus no longer broke through, fucking back every pearl. I bought a house for tubes. He put her into the shell and that’s all. So, this dude in 15 minutes wrapped up.
I took a canned bowl, placed a piece of sausage there and poured a diluted 1x10 domestos. It’s been 10-20 minutes and there’s no fucking sausage! by Scuco!
Kirill
Short if you need to buet the liberty from the corpse... well you understood)


[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №21883
 28.10.2009
<xxx> I miss you
<yyy> is it true? =) is
<xxx> Yes, the sun is out. It’s time for another grandmother.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №21882
 28.10.2009
Having lived with cats for a long time, I understood where the phrase came from: to smooth out your guilt!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №21881
 28.10.2009
Orders are not discussed: they are simply not executed.

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21880
 28.10.2009
Last Wednesday at 7:10 a.m., a call from the city of Burena came to the German police. If anyone does not know, Buren is such a Westphalian village, 22 thousand people, 3 bus lines, a closed railway station, more than 90% of the population are Germans. The last loud story was the expulsion of the population from the city of 80 Soviets in the 45th year, since then - a quiet paradise for the police.

So, Buren, 7.10 in the morning, a call to the police. A little less awake, but a strong enough male voice begins the conversation: "I did not drink anything."
Given that drunkenness in the morning, in principle, is not included in the list of national Westphalian customs, the police were alerted. “I did not drink anything yesterday,” he continued, “but there is a kangaroo in the neighboring garden.
The Onefoot. They eat flowers.” In the call center of the police people are experienced, they did not have to face such situations, so, without blinking the eye, the caller asked his name, home address and reassured, saying that in 2 minutes the patrol will come. And indeed, contacted the nearest patrol car, briefly describing the situation to the officers. At the same time, they contacted the nearest hospital to find out if there are vacant seats in the psychiatric department.

The police arrived at the house. The caller was obvious - he stood on the threshold of his own house, with a phone, in his home shoes and was clearly out of his own. The police approached him carefully. “Good
Tomorrow the police. Mr...?“They asked polently. “Say, you have a kangaroo here...” In response, the man pointed to the bushes in the neighboring garden.
There was a kangaroo. The Onefoot. I ate the flowers. Both policemen slowly acquired the color of their uniforms. In their heads, the paragraphs of the service instructions were crumbling - as usual, none of the frequently used paragraphs in this case did not fit, and time to look for.
The (probably existing) point on behavior when confronting a single-legged kangaroo that spoils another's property did not leave the situation.

The officers moved slowly forward, saying something intermediate between the two.
“Please try it” and “Please try it, shit.” The kangaroo assessed the situation instantly and, jumping on one leg and tail, boldly went away, removing the gardens of decent burgers. When they saw a fleeing object, the instincts of the police finally worked - they rushed to pursue it. While one of them was on the run to get his weapons and demanded the kangaroo to stop immediately and raise his legs, the second picked up the rack and contacted the staff: "We are chasing the one-legged kangaroo, we have serious grounds to suspect him (well, and how else to translate dringend).
thumbnailäthumbnail?!) Damage to property and resistance in detention. The suspect goes to
Zidninghoizerstraße towards the city center. We urgently need reinforcements.” The expression of persons in the headquarters at that time had to be seen.

No, instructions are a big thing. “If a police officer calls for reinforcement, it must be sent to him.” Therefore, before learning about the presence of three seats in the hospital, the headquarters moved to the general wave: "All posts. The crew is pursuing a single-legged kangaroo.
Zidninghoizerstraße towards the city center. Immediate assistance in case of arrest! “What?At the same time they reacted both posts, heated in their cars. “Let’s run!!“I responded by ration.

After half an hour of pursuit, the police, supported by a local voluntary fire brigade, besieged the kangaroo in the next garden. The urgently called local veterinarian calmly passed through the grip and approached the animal. He confidently clung to him.

Surprised police veterinarian told that a two-year-old kangaroo
Gino fled from his home, where he had been undergoing a rehabilitation course after surgery to remove the back leg for a year and a half. Someone of the visitors did not lock the garage gate, and who discovered this kangaroo arranged an unplanned walk around the city. The veterinarian promised the police to install an automatic lock on the gate, so that the city could continue to sleep peacefully in the future.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №21879
 28.10.2009
Two omonists argue about the steel strength of the nerves and real male strength. One says:
“Look, let’s say you come home after duty, evil and hungry.
In shape, with a machine and a bucket. You find your wife with someone.
A naked man in an interesting position. And you tell them so calmly,
"Continue," - and you go to the kitchen and do not hurry to eat. Here is
What are real steel nerves and strong endurance?
No, but the second is opposed. Strong nerves and
The expression is when you say to Tom, “Continue,” and he,
Fuck it continues.

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