bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120113
 01.11.2015
I didn’t start my first family quarrel. I just asked why she entered a bumper in the border, indeed uncensored.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №120112
 31.10.2015
Have you ever thought about the meaning of the word school?
And my son today "enlightened" - The Sisen Colony of Eleven Years of Hell!!! And you know, with such a training program as our children, he is right...

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №120111
 31.10.2015
Someone has earned!
Mania: "I would be happy but work..."
I: "Uber everything?"
Mania: "Yes, cleaned up, the tables served..."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120110
 31.10.2015
I used to repair my computer without removing the hard disk. I do not go to the workshop anymore.
LOL, what was hard?
and all

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120109
 31.10.2015
“Yes, bartender, I have black tea with mint and my friend has 2 vodks. One of us must leave here happy.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №120108
 31.10.2015
XXX: Singing a Song
Evry Tim, Ah Cheto
I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go
Dion Celine – My Heart Will Go On

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120107
 31.10.2015
On the day I went to training, time in the area of 6 in the morning. I go in the headphones, and already on the approach to the subway I see the car stops, and the guy screams to me "Girl, where are you?", I naturally do not react, he goes out, then the dialogue:
Q: Girl, where are you going?
I: The Metro
Q: Let me take you?
I: No, thank you
Q: Well, I have a cool car standing, look out.
The car if it was a merce, black, beautiful.
I: I don’t understand cars, a car is like a car. A subway car is more expensive than this car, so I can handle it myself.
With these words, I go into the same subway, and I hear the wild rust. A failed pickup.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120106
 31.10.2015
You are laughing at a vegetarian now, and then he will come to your grave and eat all the flowers.

<><><>>
I remember a five-year-old girl in the courtyard saying to local grandmothers, “Today you feed the pigeons, and tomorrow they’ll go to your grave!”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120105
 31.10.2015
Better not to laugh at people at all. Otherwise, at a certain moment of laughter you can find a knife in yourself, for example :D

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120104
 31.10.2015
How convenient it became to live - any mistake in the text can be written off on the car replacement ;)

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120103
 31.10.2015
Everyone is looking for books and I will find, suddenly lucky.

I will start with the prehistory. Twenty years ago in a children's library in now another country stumbled on a book, it seems, in a white-blue cover with dolphins. It was a collection.
Stories and excerpts from foreign children’s works of large form. Opened in a couple of places - not interesting, and it makes sense to read the passage, if the book itself is entirely, maybe not translated at all?

But now the fairy tale: in one of the randomly open places, Tomika stumbled upon a scene in which the cook of the ship before cooking satisfies his sexual needs in the goose with suffocating the poor bird at the end. In the children’s book, yes. I put her in shock. Another time I checked - a goose with a coke on the same page. But since good girls don’t read this, neither the name nor the author became remembered.

I am no longer such a good girl and I want to get rid of the annoyance. Name at least a collection, at least the work itself, from which an episode, though the author.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120102
 31.10.2015
by Sergey:
Oooo Oooo! A mask in the form of a circle
by Konstantin:
and ah. and in the cup a wonderful cocktail))) beer dark and light, vodka rum tequila gin kola cognac whisky and odecolon some.
by Sergey:
Take it up! The real Alcatraz
by Konstantin:
This I participated in the competition "minus one" and the fucking all to evil remained alive.
by Sergey:
Is it when everyone puts into the cup what they drink themselves?
by Konstantin:
and ah)
A gallon of liters!! to
Do you know what the prize was for?
by Konstantin:
Tagged with: trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
by Sergey:
Well nowau
not tomy
by Konstantin:
A bottle of beer!! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120101
 31.10.2015
They played. The bug came: if you enter a negative number, everything breaks. If you erase the meaning, everything breaks. If you write "second" or "half a minute" instead of a number, then everything breaks down.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I have a question. Have you tried programming?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120100
 31.10.2015
Q: Are there regular fines?
YYY : OO
Which are we constantly paying?
YYU: What are the taxes? OOO
Yes, the taxes are :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120099
 31.10.2015
Chilean authorities mistakenly delivered an erotic book to 283 primary schools titled “The Red Hat Eats a Wolf”. The book for adults got into the libraries of educational institutions instead of the famous fairy tale "Red Hat".

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №120098
 31.10.2015

The wife asked her husband many times not to leave the house on the weekend (he went on Friday night to fish, give a friend, etc., returned on Sunday evening and honestly did not understand what his wife was dissatisfied with)
For a long time she asked, sometimes asked, sometimes cried...
Her husband ignored her, sometimes honestly sent and laughed at her.

One day my husband came and stumbled upon a newly raised iron door. His wife brought him to his parents, where he was registered.

There is no morality, but the case is real.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120097
 31.10.2015
Valera: I felt something strange this morning: I turned on the Rox radio. First there was Boynov, then Pugachev. Switched to the radio, there Max Pokrovsky
Mark is Halloween. Every radio was dressed in another radio.
Valera: all the radio dressed in Boynov

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120096
 31.10.2015
One of the rottweilers woke me up for a walk, pulling my hand out of bed. Polite and carefully, I took my limb with my teeth and slowly pulled it until I either woke up in a good way, or after hitting the floor with my ass.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120095
 31.10.2015
all_my_masks: I recently stopped driving and gave out the "man's lamb!"... the child to the very home found out where was the man with the lamb)
bobo_kiss: I was driving the "pi**ras" and the daughter called the silver sedan all the way...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120094
 31.10.2015
Good relationships where you do not have to put a password on the phone

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna