bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105134
 07.11.2014
The meaning of the phrase "visible-invisible" is most clearly understood when you get a salary.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №105133
 07.11.2014
The Hurghada airport. Early morning. Multiple flights take off at the same time (about 7 am). Domodedovo, Rostov, Peter, Petrozavodsk, Kiev and Tallinn. The passport control. Everyone speaks Russian, including the Arab. Two Estonians of the type "we are not with you" quietly negotiate on their own. It is their turn to put the stamp. The foreigner asks something, the Estonians answer on their "shaltay-boltai". The Arab suddenly rushes, the Estonians immediately explain everything in Russian. The servant is satisfied. Passport control on the great and powerful continues.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №105132
 07.11.2014
Dear, I am pregnant.
What o-o-o?! to
From the 1st of April, my dear.
Lucia, you can also get a heart attack.
How did you call me? What kind of lucia am I?! to
From the 1st of April, my dear.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105131
 07.11.2014
Dad, buy me a fox.
XXX: and the sword
XXX Who Eats Who?
YYY: We are them
XXX: You can’t eat them! They are Mimi!
Yyy: You just need to eat cute animals to get better yourself.
I think you’re educating me badly =(
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The previous is not counted. We need to eat bad animals and cockroaches.
Good girls only eat bad animals and cockroaches. So is better?
I don’t want to eat cockroaches ((
YYY: And I’ve already eaten=(

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105130
 07.11.2014
When my current wife married me a month ago, I was in the seventh sky.
And now?
Now on the third.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №105129
 07.11.2014
The Russian liberals are always ashamed of their country, but very rarely of themselves.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105128
 07.11.2014
Yesterday I bought myself a plush unicorn.
The ship...
The third night proves to me that he is natural.
Yesterday I bought... the third night proves...

Damn, if they were logically correct!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105127
 07.11.2014
More in the bowl (oh, the world should know about it):

The man depicts himself as alpha-samsa

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105126
 07.11.2014
Service for repair of household appliances.
Client (talk about TV): No sound, no image, but overall everything works.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №105125
 07.11.2014
I recently went to the planetarium. It was interrupted at the moment when the lecturer told us that in 12 billion years our galaxy will collide with another and at this moment the child stood behind me... apparently he felt all the futility of being.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №105124
 07.11.2014
Ornella Mutit: Why is reproduction in space impossible?
Pol Volkov: I suggest trying until the last!
Y K: Astronauts do not reproduce in captivity.
Clara Zmeyeedova: Not to break the accounts. It has to fly as much as it has gone.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105123
 07.11.2014
xxx: and I would fuse Yanukovych in any case in any country that is not unfortunate - he brings misfortune
YYY: He is already there.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105122
 07.11.2014
By the way, I advise you to make friends with the local district (to give him a meal)... Why? Well, we do not want to answer the strange questions where the remnants of pile materials and so on came from the abandoned pile.

I will tell you later if you are interested. It is ?
____________
This is so clever, it does not reflect in the mirror! Do you not think that those who have been throwing meat in the area have long been throwing it right at night? And your gasoline is controlled by Oasis.
And you yourself look for where the meat center went, the gasoline tank and why the broken daughter walks.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105121
 07.11.2014
-Psychiatrist (HW): Someone has looked at the genitals on the strawblow.
-AVA: This man saw 100r for the first time, here and looked.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №105120
 07.11.2014
to this:
Fossi: When I was going through the medical commission in the military, the psychiatrist asked me:
How is the moon different from the sun?
I answered that the moon is the satellite of the earth and the sun is a star. What the psychologist said:
What are you, fool? The sun shines during the day and the moon at night.

What did the psychiatrist say?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105119
 07.11.2014
to this:
XHH: We went with a girl to the raid in Voyeur, gathered the people. Added pers with nick "for ever", which my favorite immediately reacted with the phrase "O, Weight Forever, it's about me...". To my observation, the name of Persian,, "Spring Always", was upset and thought about the eternal.

and----
We had a paladin in the guild with a nick "Yanasusvet". As you all know, he was called purely Unsightly.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105118
 07.11.2014
We live in a terrible time. No matter what science fiction you thought, no matter what science fiction you said, this has already been written by Shekley.

Zzzz: Fantasy is in the past. Now Orwell is in fashion, and Lovecraft is approaching.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105117
 07.11.2014
A girl stands in front of you. She slowly descends on her knees, leading her fingers over the skin from her neck to her hip. With both hands, easily touching the nails, the girl carries two symmetrical strips along the ribs and stops, taking the strap of the belt. The innocent look up in your eyes. In a couple of movements, the belt, button and lightning are opened. Light touches of the skin on the abdomen, at the hip artery and above the pelvic bone. Remove what interferes. Run the tongue on the hot flesh, from the beginning to the end. Embrace your lips, completely immersed in the sensations.
Good night ?
Yyy: Nihera takes an anatomy lesson
Yyy: Googling the hip artery

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №105116
 07.11.2014
MrDiamondSword: I woke up in the morning, I see in the closet among the clothes was a cat and her kitten, well, I cleaned off all the clothes, laid the unnecessary shirt and left for my business, I come to lunch and I see already three kittens! In a few hours, they were six. The cats went and went!

Visper110: And after a few days you started running around the closet with screams "Cats don’t cook!!!" and

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105115
 06.11.2014
xxx: I started charging and stopped charging the laptop, what about it?

YYY: xxx, she started choking and stopped charging the laptop, obviously.

zzz: Mmm... probably she started kicking and stopped charging the laptop?
But I am not sure. Maybe someone else will speak?

xxx: who can say answer plz

XXX: What about her?

aaa: xxx, IMHO, she started pitting and stopped charging the laptop.

BBB is mm. Do you also think that she started kicking and stopped charging the laptop?
We are a lot of such. Probably it is really that. But someone else needs to confirm.

ccc: bbb, I think it’s really possible that she started choking and stopped charging the laptop. But not to say exactly, too many nuances.

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