bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149054
 14.02.2018
British scientists have concluded that girls who regularly reach orgasm are better at school. My ideas of classmates were broken down.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №149053
 14.02.2018
YouTube posted a video about corruption:

Europe: Corrupt people are being tried.
China: Corrupt people are being shot.
Russia: Rospotrebnadzor in the interest of corrupt people shuts down YouTube

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149052
 14.02.2018
But she will not gather her sweaters all over the house, nor will the borst get to bed.

She will collect socks, if she loves order in the house, she will serve borscht in bed, if she loves cooking and loves her husband, and if her husband, in gratitude, takes on some other things that she less likes, rather than sit on her neck. She’ll do because she wants, not because she’s obligated as a wife, do you feel the difference?
Went on a trip with men? Someone cuts wood, someone puts a tent, someone is engaged in firing - who does better than they go everywhere together, doing strictly equal, right? But if some slanderer sits more comfortably and waits for him to be served, then in the best case he will be polently explained that it is so ugly, and in the worst case - will give him puzzles.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149051
 14.02.2018
Nothing excuses a person who ripped long while watching the series "Star track",as the phrase "Sorry my Klingon"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149050
 14.02.2018
Former husband of his sister:

The sister of my ex-wife.
She has a child she gave birth to very early, at 16 or 17.
I never had a normal relationship. At the age of 50, she met a normal man, with whom she even married.
She divorced and fled as soon as he got to the hospital.

The fact that she has never had a normal relationship by the age of 50 has already characterized her in a certain way. But only her, not the whole floor in general.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149049
 14.02.2018
Do Dwarfs Have Women? How do they reproduce?
See also: Bayani They just have women too bearded, and the non-dwarf does not distinguish them.
zzz: There is an opinion that the dwarfs themselves are not very different: if after sex there was a child, then it was a dwarf. If after sex the child got you, then the dwarfobab is you.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149048
 14.02.2018
A friend (violinist) here for the first time after moving to our conservatory played in a quintet with a professor (contrabass). He says so fast. We play, and the professor screams at me, “Be afraid, shit!” I drink quieter and more frightened. He whispered again, “Be afraid, shit!”“And the eyes of the wicked are drawn out. Only after playing, I found out that the professor was very carnivorous and said, “More sound!”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149047
 14.02.2018
The Advertising:
- Buy coatlets from the real polar coat. A total of 430 rubles/kg.
- Really, the composition on the mark: farce of the coat, farce of the mint, farce of the shovel.
- Really real: 80 percent of the farce, 20 percent of the truss, 20 percent of the coat (which swam past the truss and the truss)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149046
 14.02.2018
I am a computer teacher at school. Just what came to me and said what the order of the department of education came about what I need to go to the neighboring school in order to undergo remote learning via Skype.
and OK.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149045
 13.02.2018
Phone call in the online store:

Shurshal social network, looking for a decent device, calls to the necessary people to do. I stumbled upon your site, first thought that the topic was blurred, ordered, tossy-bossy, left the numbers. Everything went by the chin-chin. The courier turned out to be far from a muddy man, the phone coughed the nuances of delivery. I walked into the center and gave me my apparatus. The phone is fine, I am pleased. In short, it’s all in the age. It is"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149044
 13.02.2018
From my window, I can see the naked woman.
Have you bought a binoculars?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149043
 13.02.2018
Sberbank has added a messenger to the mobile app.

XXX and the masks. And then the collector will show the bank statement in the order "interesting first", not chronologically.

Zzz: And will also recommend you friends on the sample
"They also like the Five:...",
"Braili Big-Taysti in Nevsky in July:..."
and "How you drive on Uber in credit:...
"Your crows... also took Baltic 7 today in action, go down to the paddock closer to the evening"

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149042
 13.02.2018
Childhood, I am 9, brother 14, parents left, we get a hidden cassette with porn. On the screen, a dad looks at us: “Hello kids, if you see this, I know you got the banned tape.” Only after two hours of sleep panic and we realized that watching this recording does not burn us, overwhelmed and returned to place.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149041
 13.02.2018
During the school years, we visited a classmate. I don't remember exactly how, but we found in the closet a homemade dildo (he has a tower) of giant sizes and a cassette. The tape featured his mother and aunt (the father’s sister) in the shower, engaged in unambiguous lesbian manipulations. The operator’s voice was identified as the voice of the bathi. At that time, we were greatly rattled. A classmate, a poor man, tried to turn it off immediately, but was held back by the forces of friends.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149040
 13.02.2018
The cartoons are embarrassing precisely because they are painted. The healthy brain of most adults does not perceive this image.
Do you think children invented drawing when the adult brain does not perceive the drawn picture? I am afraid to upset you, but healthy people perceive any picture normally. You may have problems with color perception or image recognition – unfortunately, this is genetic and is not treated, just don’t look at any drawn objects, don’t torture yourself.
PS My absolutely healthy brain even periodically sees drawn, cardboard, plastic dreams, while I am not interested in multiculture, movies and TV at all.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149039
 13.02.2018
The entire work of Schnurov in two lines:
Three accords, two accords
Fuck, Fuck and Fuck.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149038
 13.02.2018
You can write shit code and start faster, but it will still take time (and not shit code - see. and above). Not a night after work.
Age is not an obstacle, but not many have the opportunity to abandon work and significantly reduce income for a long time.

VOOOT! I really knew one person, the coder. I dreamed of blurring the startup, in my opinion - a promising one, and so far I started to implement my idea by myself, after work. He suffered for three years, but did not pull, well that he did not drink from overstress. It is unrealistic to work constantly, without rest and weekends, even if you do your favorite business. To quit the job was not an option: first, to feed him to no one, and secondly, the startup itself required initial investments, which he tried to save from his salary. In short, reading all sorts of success stories of today's young and energetic people, I always wonder: who fed them for those years until their business began to give a stable income? And almost always there are parents-businessmen who made the initial capital in the devastating 90s... unfortunately.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149037
 13.02.2018
Oh the great dragon! Have mercy on us, for we have no more virgins. Will you sacrifice this virgin?
Hm... Is he pulling on the mide?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149036
 13.02.2018
My daughter (7 years old) said:
It is good to be a man...
and Dad:
Have you tried?
Have you tried?
I found nothing to answer.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149035
 13.02.2018
Pictures of Oil

>> And the cartoons are embarrassing precisely because they are painted. The healthy brain of most adults does not perceive this image.

Eck you are now on all artists and lovers of painting...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna