bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №21718
 23.10.2009
In the method in one of the formulas there is the number 3.41.
We approach the predecessor to clarify:
Maybe there is a mistake here?
Q: Why is it?
I think it should be 3.14
Q: Not everything in this life is drunk.

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21717
 23.10.2009
I love the virgins.
After the first mining:
Better with you than with your hand.
Oh and why?
You are warm...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №21716
 23.10.2009
In the early 90s, my father had a tradition at work: to celebrate various events abundantly (vacation, coming from vacation, etc.).) and not where it got, but someone at home from the brigade (6-8 people) Once noted with us, very already noted and approached my younger sister (she was somewhere 2-3 years old): tell a poem about Ivan Cousin - a large corn, put on the refrigerator and persuaded, the child did not tolerate it for a long time. There was only one word: Hate! The men swallowed it and within a minute they left. My sister is 21 years old and she can also write a single word.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №21715
 23.10.2009
From the ASK:

yyy: The light here on the dating site all hangs... I want to fuck
YYY: Write to you, accidentally sent a light to *wall*
xxx you are dumb
YYY: the fuck will survive
xxx is the))
YYY: How it wasn’t comfortable probably :D
Yyy: Mya, ask me to get rid of the ignorant

X: Can you take it out of the ignorance? I think, if you have learned nothing, you can always ignore it again.
Sss is mm.
Sss: the last time I pull out, the last chance to fix our lives

(A few minutes later)

I accidentally sent her:
yyy: This sheep sent an authorization
YYY: * rofl *

[ + 87 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21714
 23.10.2009
Yesterday on the Garden Ring through the streams of cars tried to break a car "Ambulances". First with a flash, but then, desperately being missed, with a sirene. Lexus, Mercy and BMW reluctantly ceded the road, signaled and flashed with the lighthouses of GAZELI, who decided to squeeze their majesty from the busy track. Then there was a tunnel, the most bold dared in the open windows to scream "where to preish".

And after ten kilometers, the ambulance suddenly stopped blinking and rushing. I went on a turn to the tank. The driver stood through one person and at some question of the cashier threw the phrase "no time, traffic jams around".

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №21713
 23.10.2009
Fuck you fucking!
Economics and Sociology of Labor. The business game.
Experts, what do you think?
We disagree on a lot.
We are the state, we are the state!! to

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №21712
 23.10.2009
OMG, from the French Chamber of Measures and Weights, two unknown people in masks stole the standard of a hectare!!! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21711
 23.10.2009
xhhh(He): Only in Russia children’s cream is used for adults!+)
WOW: How is it?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №21710
 23.10.2009
I, a person living with unlimited internet (4Mbps) for two years, gathered yesterday and finally threw out the modem. In my heart, it’s still not calm.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №21709
 23.10.2009
I’ve always wondered why doctors write so blatantly. I asked a doctor and got this answer:
At first grade, the old professor continued to whisper: “Future doctors, remember that you write the diagnosis and the history of the disease for the prosecutor’s office!”and "

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №21708
 23.10.2009
Contact information of VKontakte:

and mob. Phone Name: Nedam
The house. Phone: I don’t say
ICQ: Exactly above 60

Yes, ICQ has more than 60...

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №21707
 23.10.2009
You are joyful!!!Go what I put in.

NLoyer: Oh... I will tell you.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №21706
 23.10.2009
P.S. I’m like you always.
Caxann: I am standing at the subway today, waiting for Taras and reading
Caxann: two guys are coming, well I think again little questions will be asked, already begun to come up with a clever answer
Caxann: And one of them is a typical tone of a go-to hopper - "Is there a che to read"?
Caxann: They look at the cover, and with an understanding look, they grieve: Blabla, Fry. Is there nothing more serious?
Caxann: I gave these poor people last year’s Physics Conspects with joy.
Caxann: Peter Hule

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №21705
 23.10.2009
SeiRioS: Tomorrow I'll ask the bear's question via online video link

Dubrovsky: SeiRioS: ask when the crazy Starcraft 2 will be released

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21704
 23.10.2009
Girls are such beautiful and cute creatures, straight like children.
I would like to have all the girls aged 15-16 years old, fucking fucking!! to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №21703
 23.10.2009
Richi, I can tell you a real case

April Walk

Richi worked with me in Kolya Takayto's curse. So I decided to steal a duck. He rejected the rejection. Therefore, like ducks, bad birds and, swimming in the pond, they ate the pieces and drowned.

Richi And again, when the wire was drawn from the power line, he found somewhere the evidence that this line was built during the war by drunk Germans, and the theft caused damage to fascist Germany.

April I want to meet him.

Richi was another case when the sp...li boat. He took a note from the meteorological station that there was a wind. In short, the boat was taken by the wind, possibly to the Nordic Donetsk, and then to the sea.

April, I signed up.


[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №21702
 23.10.2009
came to the address box to the boss: Good morning, we want to express our dissatisfaction with the system administrator. It is he who calls himself so and is offended when he is called a programmer or a computer scientist... Truth is, drivers we have not tried to call tractors or machinery, but not the essence...
Instead of performing his duties (wiping the monitors with towels, bringing cartridges, transporting accounting documents to firms, repairing faxes and mobile phones), this character repairs printers all day long, stretches some networks, clears computers from viruses, something paws! Impossible to work! Just get a cup of tea to drink while the computer hangs, this... takes to and in 5-10 minutes restores working capacity... We have already tried to quietly keep silent about the breakdowns, he is right from somewhere to learn, and everything is done...
Recently he was told the truth that he is not loaded with us and it is unclear why he gets such crazy money, so he began to nervously shake and beat his head at the table, which suggests his mental health.
And sometimes he goes to the basement and relaxes there with some powders and boxes for a few hours!
Save us from it, in the enterprise for more than a month does not work antivirus, everything should not work, and this... constantly repairs something. She smiles and irritates everyone.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №21701
 23.10.2009
XXX: Anal distortions
yyy: 0_0?! to
XXX is fucking
I thought you were Google!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №21700
 23.10.2009
In order to understand the principle of the work of the mouse, it is enough to take a mortgage loan in the bank.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №21699
 23.10.2009
During the Soviet era, the city helped the village every year in the great battle for the harvest.
That year was no exception for the Institute. Announced the list, time and place of collection and dispersed the lucky people around the houses - to gather on the road.

Early in the morning to the designated place began to gather young healthy foreheads with backpacks behind the back, with sports bags across the shoulder, in the depth of which something seductively waved - the hell knows how there they have a deal with hot drinks.

Only one – Lech’s eyewear – was strikingly different from the crowd: in addition to the backpack behind him, there was a small diplomat. There was also something whispering in it, but the sound was somewhat different, out of a slim choir of voices of wine and vodka products.

The last to the crowd joined Lohin, the friend of Mishka, with whom they bite the granite of science together for five years, and now, also together, worked in the institute of the university:

Oh shit, good morning! What about a diplomat? The vodka is gone?

“No, Mish, there’s no fish there, there’s no caterpillar. Through this we will extract fire water from the Aborigines, and put the suitcase on the asphalt and opened it.
Inside was a complete set of telemaster: a solder, a tester, a set of tools, boxes with condensator resistors, and all this was generously poured over by a bunch of radio lamps.

What is the main problem in the village? Television in the district. Here, in every house, the broken TVs and radios are burning around the corner, - Lech's friend taught, - we will fill this niche: I have completed the telemaster courses.
You can take money, and you can immediately take a bottle. They also feed grandmothers.

So it happened. Upon arrival, Leha threw his backpack onto the bed, took a diplomat and took a business step around the village. In the first house was found a broken radio, which Leha opened in half an hour and the bubble of the same.
A few hours later, Lecha came back, called Mishka and showed him a bottle.
“Wheat”, a bottle of самогоon and 5 rubles of money:

Do you understand, Mika? This is the end of work. I made the advertisement for myself, so the people are now pulling. You’ll go with me, you’ll give me something. More fun for both.

Everything went as Lecha predicted: there was no detachment from the clientele.
Every night the friends disappeared dark, returned full and drunk, with vodka and money. Vodka was placed on the table and the money was divided in half.

One evening, after finishing the repair of the television, having handed over the job to the owner - an old but shy grandfather, and having received a fifth from the grandfather's wallet, the boys were already going to leave, but here the grandfather knocked himself on the forehead:

“Son, I have an old ‘record’ dusting in my chula! I was awarded a prize in the 1960s. Fifteen years like a watch, and then something stopped – I had to buy a new one. Look, maybe it will work.

There, a bottle of vodka and a bank of cucumbers were found in the chula, which an honest company finished before starting to inspect the body.

Having removed the dishes from the table, Leha raised an impressive wooden box on him, opened the rear lid, looked inside, sneezed and scratched the scarf:

- Yes, grandfather, the dust is inside - the potato can be planted...

Leha turned the TV into the socket, twisted the noise pen... Silence. No sound or image. Leha took the tester, stumbled at the TV, thoughtfully scratched the puddle.

Grandfather and Mishka were sitting on the couch in front of the TV, watching Lecha.
The owner was a little distracted, and he struck in the memories of the war, about how after the war moved from a tank to a tractor, how in the district center he was handed this television, the first in the village...

Leha scratched the cane again, took the passages and used inside the box.
Something shone, a loud “babah” sounded, and the room was enveloped by a cloud of dust... And there was silence.

A few seconds later, when the dust began to dissipate, the grandfather, squeezing, stared into the TV screen:

– Oh! The image appeared!

And in fact: through the glass of the screen, one could see the black-and-white foam-colored face of Lehi with square eyes larger than glasses, who was astonishingly considering what was left inside the TV after the kinescope exploded. Physias opened her mouth and said:

Fuck you!

“Oh,” said Mishka darkly, “and the sound came too.

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