The neighbor separated from the man, sad. They dropped the products with her. She went to the common kitchen to prepare a salad with crab sticks. I am hungry and my stomach is swallowing.
It takes 30 minutes, an hour. No one asks me to eat. I go to the kitchen, annoyed, well, why can you cook there so long?
And she put his name out of crab sticks, standing out of corn grains now laying around the flower and crying.

I watched two films with Bruce Willis. Both films were recently released. In both, Bruce is a positive hero (who would doubt). In both pictures, epic battles with all sorts of fucking people take place in the same workshop, on the same site. Even the graffiti on the walls are the same. Hollywood is dressed.

Advertising on Ivanovsky Radio:
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On the birthday of a neighbor in my girlfriend's dormitory (the girlfriend herself, Nastya, is absent):
We prepare meals, friends (p) and name (s):
Oh, what a beautiful bowl! Their own?
and – no, Nostin (
Serving the table:
What beautiful plates! Their own?
And no, the cold...
At the end of the evening, everyone divides, I hear the end of my ear about myself:
What a good guy, careful, caring, educated!!! Their own?
and – No, Nathan... = ((

She made meat in French. He made an entirety. We forget that we have it. So the meat was in the oven of the plate for about a week until, naturally, the smell did not guess and remember. The whole family had the flu and no one smelled it.
My wife tells me: I open the oven, and there is a mold of three centimeters. I ask, did he not talk to you? Almost yes, my wife replied. I remembered the picture from People in Black 2 and imagined – you open the oven, and you from there – Be Famous, Jay. Congratulations to Jay!

The man-eaters spoke 30 words. Modern girls in social networks have gone further: they have 5 words to communicate: clear, understandable, mmm, well, and norms.

Mikhail Zhvanetsky (MK)

We had Tychon, a black, lame, struggling Odessa cat with blades. He came to us to sleep. Sleeping, shaking his legs, all day, it could be carried for 1 leg. Where was he at night? Looking for love adventures in different courts. Tikhon gave birth to a lot of children, like him. I, looking at him, began to suspect that cats also have sexually transmitted diseases. Tychon was not sick, but I had no doubt that he was rolling unknown where and entering disorderly connections. Although my dad, a doctor, said that cats don’t get sexually transmitted diseases, it only occurs in humans. After the turbulent nights, Tychon slept with us like a barley, but at the same time, in general, kept the refrigerator, which had to be opened with him. As someone approached, a loud voice immediately sounded out:"Miau, what is it? Let’s look at it!" They all looked together. The cat said "About this I would eat!"
Tycho could feed himself. He needed a place to sleep and food if he suddenly disappeared. Not here, but in the neighborhood. The cat could move on its own, and, in my opinion, he was coming to us in the tram.

The washing machine broke, the master called.
The filters were blurred.
Making the cleaning, the master explains: "Just before laying the dishes, it must be washed off from the remains of food and rinse under running water."
Is it so bad for me then?

A huge thank you to the Ministry of Justice of the Russian Federation - when everything gets bored on the Internet, it becomes boring and uninteresting - I go into the list of prohibited materials and look for them... There is a suspicion that this list is like a huge advertising board.

Rambo
The Terminator
The Universal Soldier.
Oh school...

Chuck Norris is a cool Walker. Generally...

I: Okay, but you give me up!

Wife: OK, but when the menstrual or throat passes. What before

X: What happened here?
Why is there nobody?
Tagged: cgznm
xxx: no, but not cgznm
Oh my God, it is terrible.

International group of hackers declared Russian cyber war
The Civil War again?

From the forum about taxi drivers:

I was driving here recently. I just sat down and I have a driver here for no reason: "Today I bought an iron battery...."

The year 2100. Google Corporation has established a dictatorship on Earth and pays citizens for finding holes in the laws.

We see something pseudo-scientific on Ren-TV: “Criminal statistics show that in full moon the number of theft and theft is significantly increasing...”.
Our boy’s comment: “So in the full moon it’s better to see!”

I sit in Skype from my smartphone, communicate, while eating seeds. Mechanically spit the peel straight into the screen. The interlocutor through some shame: Suri that did not answer, something got in the eye! He killed!

xx: Okay, but you have to take into account, if you want to have rights on me, you will get duties. So you are cunnilingus, and...
xy : ) )
xx: I'm trying to come up with a male equivalent of borst, don't get out of mind...
xy: I can pull the stick))
XX: Oh what a clever one! Minet and borst every day you want, and the shelf to wrap once a year will need to be, and that is not a fact! So you will also be wrapped in the cunnilingus:"Headache hurts", "I don’t have those days today", "I’m tired"...
XX is invented. A shelf, such a shelf. You’ll be shooting the day before, carefully!!! Close the hole and pull it again. Well, or scrape the crane every day, and collect it again.
Xy: No, well his naphig, such a joint life. I’d rather go to dinner with my mom.

(from comments to the article on sparring with the iPod)
Do you get 81 lbs?
WOW: It is almost. I remember at school, a grandmother-teacher of German under 90 years of age openly told us seven classmates, "Hey, why are you holding your hands under the barrel? You are engaged in onanism?" - after this moral trauma, I fixed for my whole life that the main success of writing is when my hands are over the counter :)

... suddenly it became clear that their specialty was not certified, and all were taken to the army.

By the way, it is not funny at all, and it does not depend on the quality of the universe. The fact is that the specialty in principle cannot be certified until it was first issue in the university. Therefore, the first 5 years after the opening of a new specialty in the university, all its students fall into the risk group. And here it all depends only on the availability of the leadership of the university of the necessary links and the ability to negotiate with the local military committee.