bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105014
 04.11.2014
I go from the shoe shop, (I was looking for cheap high-performance shoes for the autumn breakdown) the spouse deliberately gives:

What is the difference between shit and shit?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105013
 04.11.2014
XXX is PPC. 21st century in the courtyard...I come home: a phone for charging, a clock for charging, an additional battery for charging, a headset for charging.
YYY: Good for you, but I still have a laptop, a tablet and a player.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105012
 04.11.2014
In this respect, I am an aristocrat: I cannot drink one-off tea in bags or coffee three-in-one. I’m buying the most expensive tea and coffee in the grains,” she said, adding to her bread.

Doshirak is one of the most expensive pasta products in terms of money per kilogram.
Think about this when you decide to eat cheaper.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105011
 04.11.2014
The question of child fears. In the fifth grade, my girlfriend and I read each other out loud, in turn, Aleksey Tolstoy. In the winter it dunked early. And my mother had the habit of knocking on the window to open the door in advance (we lived on the first floor). This is how to be - and the door must be opened, and the feet from fear to the floor have grown.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105010
 04.11.2014
xxx: This is when he will be taught how to solve diffusions, it will be an occasion to start an iPhone.

Yyy: When the iPhone learns how to solve diffusion, it will need a good reason to get you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105009
 04.11.2014
here here :
About the Robot Dust:
The first time the aunt walked after him and turned on the light in his rooms - if there are other people on this planet, then the following information for them - the dust can remove an apartment in the dark!!! to
-------
Boy, you won’t believe it. He has optical dust sensors on his mouth and they are not even infrared. Try to drive it into a dark room, and after a week into the same room with light. The cleaning time is reduced by 2.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105008
 04.11.2014
This is how the Mantoux ordered.
The designer is right, and the one you are talking about can only eat the mantle.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105007
 04.11.2014
Commentary on the video of the Bachelor's work:
The idea for the startup is an automatic condom wearer. The thermostat.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №105006
 04.11.2014
A gentleman is a man who will never refuse to help a woman, even knowing that they will not have sex.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №105005
 04.11.2014
Recently, he and his husband moved to Kiev, he was transferred to work. We moved with the whole family, my husband and my dog. The dog’s name is Deia.
Every morning and evening I walk my dog. One day, I let her go for a walk without a lead, well, and apparently, swallowed by unknown smells to me, Deika washed away somewhere. I go. I am looking.
At first calmly:
The act! the act!
Then I start to get nervous and... a picture with oil – imagine a aunt, her hair is dumb, her eyes are angry, who is wearing around the yard and wildly screams:
The act! The act! The act!
I remind you, the case is happening in Kiev, “Where am I?” In Ukrainian: Where am I?“”
Approaches to me the bumpy look of an uncle, suddenly embraces, glimpses on his head and says kindly:
The Aunt! Relax, you are in Kiev.
I don’t even know what this guy thought of me.
The dog, I found it.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №105004
 04.11.2014
“Son, look: I have 850 rubles, and my mother has 150 rubles. How much money does my mom have?
A thousand rubles.
It is true, son...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105003
 04.11.2014
How do you get rid of most relatives? very simple. Invite all relatives to the upcoming wedding. Announce that your wedding will be a) no alcoholic beverages b) at the banquet in the restaurant everyone pays for themselves.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105002
 04.11.2014
Why shouldn’t you, at your 35s, buy shoes in size 37? You can put something inside.
YYY: Are you a fool?! to
xxx: Yes of course! And wearing pants is in the order of things I just thought about...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105001
 04.11.2014
When cooking pork, the potatoes are added to the oven after the pig is roasted. Otherwise she will burn the whole potato.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105000
 04.11.2014
And my husband, in response to my depressing notion of the absence of romance and the element of surprise in our relationship, gave me five chestnuts, surprisingly placing them in a pot of compot. That’s how in the morning you go to the kitchen, you want to drink a compot, you open the lid of the pot, and there the chestnuts come together in a wedding dance.

Are you married to Gassy Fink-Nuttle?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104999
 04.11.2014
Don’t think it will all go well. Simply, buying vodka, buy aspirin, minerals and a couple of chickens to cook the bouillon in the morning.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104998
 04.11.2014
There was one man in the department. He had an unconventional mindset. This we understood when he began to prove in full seriousness that riding in the winter on a bald summer rubber with hernia is completely normal and safe. And finally convinced when he put a pot with a dozen eggs in the microwave. He was fired, in fact, for shit code and complete uselessness, but I suspect that all these facts are somehow related to each other. And the Eichers in the interview should start with questions easier than "how many coins from the earth to the moon".

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №104997
 04.11.2014
A fragile long-haired girl goes hand in hand with an eye-catcher, very similar to Valerque from The Untouchable Avengers.
Do you love me? She asks resolutely.
“I haven’t decided yet,” said the boy, fixing his glasses.
“Truly, you’re a fool,” I think, slowing down and waiting for a breakdown.
- To kill you... - dreamingly pulls the girl, whispering.
The boy wants to object, but the innate desire for truth obviously does not lie.
- It is not excluded that it will help, - he is extremely reluctant to admit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104996
 04.11.2014
N.A Nekrasov: "On Simeon's day, my father sat me on a barrel and brought me out of childhood for the fifth year.
and----
and 8-)
Are you sure that you understand the word "Burning" correctly?

There, further, are listed the works that were entrusted to the seven-year-old and later heroin.
Bring a cow home from the herd, take breakfast to my father, take care of the cattle.
In general, this is what they are doing at the same age in the village - if there are cows, cattle, working fathers and seven-year-old children in the village.


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104995
 04.11.2014
Do you just want to get me out of yourself?
I just want to introduce myself into you.

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