bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №38338
 04.11.2010
Recently, my friend picked up clothes for laundry. Seeing his neighbor’s coat around the apartment, he asks her, “Mash, this wash, well, how about him,... he... well, your home coat?”

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №38337
 04.11.2010
A series of reservations.
Earlier in the morning, my favorite sleeping room, not sleeping, we sit in the car waiting for it to warm up.
She: What to do...
I am a dirty car, you can wash it.)
Noah, if you give me a bucket...
Oh oh what...
Meaning of water.
I was crying...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №38336
 04.11.2010
A man in contact:
I am looking for a girl wishfully from I am in the age of 16-23 years but not more than 65kg I will not lift anymore and if I go up then we will crumble)))

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №38335
 04.11.2010
Yesterday I went to the ATM to take money. They are not, as usual, the checks are not printed (because the tape is over). I took the card, I was going to leave, but I saw the advertisement: "We removed everything!" on such a joyful background =)
Mailz: AGA) Removed money and checklist: Everything is done correctly!

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №38334
 04.11.2010
<Destructor> You never guess with them.
I was happy that my daughter finally got off the diet, and it turned out, fucking, she was pregnant.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №38333
 04.11.2010
A 4 year old boy asked his grandfather yesterday:
Grandpa, what size are you?
D: 174 centimeters
Q: How much do you weigh?
D: 75 kg
Q: How much is it in rubles?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №38332
 04.11.2010
Scroll: Why, in the author’s understanding, “computer wallpapers” are necessarily photographs of some wires mixed with microchips? There is no real computer wallpaper.
O'neell: What do you think of "real computer wallpapers"?
Scroll: Well, for example, a penguin eating an apple on the tomb of Bill Gates...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №38331
 04.11.2010
It is time to advertise for employee search.
"A puzzle distributor is needed. The Requirements:
- the ability to work with people of the psychotype "used contraceptive (in ordinary people - ended hondon)"
Ability to clearly, quickly and clearly explain tasks
Knowledge of non-normative lexicons
- the ability, if necessary, to send the fox in such a way that the person finds the way and does not get lost
Experience working with difficult teens, as well as in places not so remote is welcome.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №38330
 03.11.2010
Prep about the United States:
What can we expect from a country whose declaration of independence is drunk on hemp paper?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №38329
 03.11.2010
xxx> and here’s what’s curious: most of those who write "only in our country...", have never been outside of it!...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №38328
 03.11.2010
FoBoS: And the driver of our small trolleybus when chased out went out into the salon and shouted to them "kish fucking...", and then said that the trolleybus is still driving and so thinly said "oh fucking" and ran back))

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №38327
 03.11.2010
A neighbor’s friend told me:

There will be democracy, I said.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №38326
 03.11.2010
At the very beginning, according to tradition, the so-called conference. A girl with her dad came on stage. Read expressively all formal information, about the rector, pro-rector, jury. Then went to the "box, which stands at the exit and in which, if you liked the performance you can drop your ticket..." Further it was necessary to say that the "faculty, which received the most votes..." Instead, the girl, mixing the words "who picked up" and "the greatest" issued the great phrase: "Faculty THE LOWEST..." The hall for a minute reared from laughter, and not immediately calmed down. In short, the "conference" turned into a warm-up! Just unforgettable! X-D

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №38325
 03.11.2010
The boss came to the director:
Where is he?
At the lunch!
How much can I eat? He ate yesterday, he ate today, he ate every day?! to
0 O O

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №38324
 03.11.2010
Case in medical school. Group of Pediatricians. The English language. One student long argued with the teacher why doctors need English. Her most convincing argument was: “Here you go on the street, a stranger falls, and how will you help him if you don’t know what and where he’s hurt?”
The student responds so sadly: “We are pediatricians, our children don’t talk at all.”

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №38323
 03.11.2010
The case was 3 years ago, the prices of anlim were high and everyone in our city used the local eMule server. When the movies were in theaters, a smart man put out gay porn, renaming it to Mglu. Here’s the reaction of one "lucky" who downloaded this masterpiece:

susej (27.11.2007, 19:30):What a reason, waited for so long this movie, downloaded, turned off the light, arranged, I turn on, I think the advertisement, hit the middle and his mother! Two men chew corn on each other, the brother enters and looks - I watch in the darkness how the men chew and silently goes out. You are his mother, who put it out, you ruined my life with your gay porn! I will find you and make you film in the same movie.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №38322
 03.11.2010
Those who understand the subject.
I work as an instructor in the cage.
Two newcomers came today.
And they are called Ruslan Path and Vasya Žat!! to
:D

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №38321
 03.11.2010
The man’s logic. My sister’s friend sent me a message:
I think of you every minute, sorry I forgot to call you yesterday.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №38320
 03.11.2010
xxx: We drove with fellow students for a couple of warmheads, and Sani played Pioneer-fm, the song small horse.
One of them spelled, and he sang everything.... "I’m a little horse"
We are a young man, 25 years old.
So he calls our "clinated" to the board, and he goes out and sings "I'm a small horse."
Prepod to him in response "and I tomato, pizza back"
It was a finishing...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №38319
 03.11.2010
A married friend in the status:
In the phrases "we are on you" and "we are married" the same set and order of letters. What a different meaning! )

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