bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119873
 26.10.2015
Knights, armor and others. Contrary to all the movies, the knights did not go all day and everywhere in armor, and dressed them only before the battle (the Maximilian armor weighed exactly more than 40 kg). In ordinary life, the knight was dressed in the usual dress (in the sense of costume - the dress was then called a dress, it was then divided concepts) of that fashion. In the expedition, he could have been cut off in the backbone from the wing - which did not greatly hinder the movement.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №119872
 26.10.2015
Played at any time.
The question:
The Philippine Mystery.
When two hairs meet, it becomes dark.
The Right Answer (The Right Answer)
But! One team gave a very logical answer :)
Head and coconut. You will not argue!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119871
 26.10.2015
M1: Are there people here who would like to give me a P-d when I meet in real?
I - No, I only recognize permanent relationships
M2: Ollo, this is the joke of the hour))

[ + 26 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119870
 26.10.2015
I went to the weather forecast website, among the advertisements such - 95% of the population of Ukraine is infected with parasites! Get rid of it quickly". It would not be bad to get rid of them, but I am going to vote for them today.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119869
 26.10.2015
Talk about psychology.
I am a shit man. With a comfortable protective umbrella with a personal swimming pool, a library and a spacious vortex for cockroaches.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119868
 26.10.2015
I know what can radically change the internet for the better – the introduction of strict limits on page size.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119867
 25.10.2015
My cousin complained to me: I eat once a day, and I get fat. The sister was at their guests, revealed the secret: "Aha, he eats once a day, and at night he eats three times."

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №119866
 25.10.2015
XXX> What do you know about horror?
Preamble: I moved from a tight Khrushchev to one of the cottage villages we have. The house was furnished and the fence was decided to be laid in the spring. Nearby a village... literally a village with cows, farmhouses and other things.
The story itself happened last week. It dimmed. In short, in the evening, I was attracted by a very intense knock in the glass of one of the rooms on the first floor. I went down to see. And from the window a small head looks at me, big amygdala-like eyes... a bald creature. That evening I worked in a brick factory. Horra added a sharp white light that suddenly illuminated it. And the snow falling on that bald head. My whole life suddenly flew before my eyes. No, I wasn’t scared, I just felt the embrace of the polar fox, I was terrified until the last hair of the torch – a complete stinging. And then she appears. Grandma with a scream "Well, I went out of here!" - drives out of my window the straws! Strauss to Karl! Xenon light from a jeep. It turns out that their meat is dietary and now many grow them. In other words, we need to make films about aliens.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119865
 25.10.2015
<kav29863> In the evening, when I bump after work, I think a lot about work problems and options to solve them
<kav29863> Alcohol wakes up non-standard approaches to problem-solving
<kav29863> and the solutions are usually the simplest of all possible because of the inability of the brain to come up with something complex.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119864
 25.10.2015
settled in a rented house. There is a singing crane in the kitchen. Not in the sense that he cries like a sliced, and in some modes begins to hear melodies, such as barely captured by the ear. At first I didn’t know where the music came from. Every time different. Something eastern, then something like a march, yesterday really played "Kalinka-malinka". I thought it was a leaf of my glucose, recorded on a dictionary. It is recorded. I’m in Houston, to be honest. Not just a few sounds, but real melodies.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119863
 25.10.2015
XXX: I had a business idea: Coffee of Belarusian cuisine "Mark Watney". Slogan: "500 of them. 500 dishes of potatoes."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119862
 25.10.2015
XXXXXXX: Not BSDy, but Linux will put you...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119861
 25.10.2015
25 October 2015 Nikolaevskaya Oblast.

At the polling station, two pensioners presented the passport of the Soviet Union to receive the ballot. When asked why the passport has not yet been replaced with Ukrainian, the grandmothers replied that there was no time for it.


[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119860
 25.10.2015
SkySmoker: In short, I have a very important question here, practically a matter of life and death: maybe someone knows – Chebureashka has a tail?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119859
 25.10.2015
“Dear man, I just said, “There is no such thing as a normal girl.”
How did he argue?
It all started when I got stuck in a stone oven.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119858
 25.10.2015
In the courtyard lives a cat who has learned to crawl like a dove. The pigeons hear that someone is cuddling, they go there, and the cat cates them and eats them. The grandmothers in the court called him a fascist.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №119857
 25.10.2015
My average is now saying, “Give me money, I’ll buy chocolate.” I need a goose!!!and "

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119856
 25.10.2015
Finally, Russia has become a country with a developed democracy: bomb whom we want!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119855
 25.10.2015
The accountant suddenly broke the letters D and Z on the key.

xh: She sent letters to several recipients containing "hebet" and "creat" before she noticed that the word "deafness" was somewhat unknown.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119854
 25.10.2015
As is known, the holes on our roads are created by the caring Ministry of Roads and Communications to ensure that drivers do not fall asleep behind the wheel, and do not create emergency situations, insomnia for passengers is a pleasant bonus.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna