bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134821
 16.10.2016
It happened to me a rather funny but, at the same time, sad story. I came to the library for the "Dead Souls" of N.V. Gogol and decided to joke with the librarian (the young girl was). To raise the mood of both herself and her, asked to see and 2 volumes of "Dead Souls". She went looking for a book.
©®©®©®©©>€

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134820
 16.10.2016
My friend is just a genius. His parents decided to sell his apartment. They searched for buyers for a long time and eventually found a family. I like the apartment, I buy it. The buyers themselves in another city lived more often, and the apartment was more for the daughter who received it. Sold and calculated. And my friend started taking care of the daughter of this family. As a result, the apartment was sold, the son married the girl and moved back to the apartment of his parents.
$€×¥

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №134819
 16.10.2016
to the cleaning.
Yesterday the electrician was doing some walk around the apartments, it was already eight o’clock in the evening.
He came to us. We removed the counter and asked what we have now on. And we had a multivarka stopping potatoes with fries and mushrooms, a dishwasher washing dishes, a washer washing clothes.
The babies are very upset, they don’t want to do anything themselves! - the electrician crashed (he was closer to 70), in our time there was nothing of this, everyone himself - well, in this spirit, 10 minutes more reasoned.
We closed the door behind him and went to rest. I crossed, husband and child Lego to collect.
Yes, it’s wonderful when you don’t have to rotate between dishes and cooking.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134818
 16.10.2016
in the knowledge. In addition, in the car seats are restrictors with a lock. This fool breaks them.

Unfortunately, he is legally right and you will do nothing to him. Moreover, if he complains to the prefecture, then the uncles will come and cut off your columns with locks, because the land is not yours and the self-drawing is illegal, and that you and your neighbors have gone away with money doesn’t bother anyone.
Another thing, if you officially rented the land, which is extremely difficult to do. Then this parking can be flanked by a shlagbaum, which would be opened by a call from the list of entered numbers and nobody else would be able to come in.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134817
 16.10.2016
My sister’s name is Polina. The fifth class started to irritate "Parasha". Because somebody heard somewhere about the "called Polina Praskovy", I guessed what the main reducer from Praskovy and shared the discovery. And thyfo on all schoolchildren "nothing read"!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №134816
 16.10.2016
I live in a multi-storey house on the middle floor, when I get up early at work, I go to wash and pour cold hot water overnight for a long time. One day I noticed that the upper-floor neighbor was waking up a little later than me and my brain and hands moved the alarm clock 10 minutes later than usual. I started to sleep 10 minutes longer and wash with hot water. The neighbor also began to guess about the hot water and began to wake up later on. So we switched the alarm clocks until he and I were specifically late to work.
℅€

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134815
 16.10.2016
If by the kindness of the soul there are made spiders, where your spindles...

Not by the kindness of the soul, the larvae, but by the federal law of the Russian Federation, in accordance with which each yard should be equipped with a playground, where very recently your mother-ovulae walked you out, not traced probably, it is clear that you fell with a hammer and hit your head.
Courts for all, where "all" are normal people, including with cars, children and dogs. Inadequate place in the PNI - there are also large courtyards.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №134814
 16.10.2016
In school, the teacher of literature was named Natalia Pavlovna. She asked the whole class somehow to learn a passage from Pushkin, who liked it the most. And here is one boy coming out to the board and with a well-set voice, approximately, with the arrangement begins (from "Count Nulin"):

Natalia Pavlovna is dressed.
A parachute stands in front of her.
My friends! This parachute...

Why did Natalia Pavlovna not shrink in her voice!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134813
 16.10.2016
here here :
Did you call her stupid? Not a fucking fuck? Not a sheep’s hand? Not even a dumb chicken. Fuck, I want to marry you!! to

For some reason, after reading your post, it seemed like you would be called that...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134812
 16.10.2016
If you have three wishes and have not broken the Ten Commandments, then your wishes are so to yourself.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №134811
 16.10.2016
WPP

A couple of years ago I was in Izma. A cultural shock for the city. On the train to IRAOEL, then 200km. In the forest on the road. The route broke. Therefore, I was taken by a good man, cuddling out of a bottle of vodka bought on the way. Not principally, he was already very sober. At first, he borrowed gasoline from his neighbor – there is no gas station in IRAOOL.
In Izma, I heard the story of an accidental seat there in 2010 on the abandoned Tu-154 airfield.
And yesterday, as I heard, I turned on the telephone (including three times a year). Transmission of the case. Yes is. Pilots are magicians. To land a plane without electricity, with a glass of water instead of an air horizon, on an abandoned strip, twice as short as it should be, is a miracle. But even more miraculous is this track. Hachiko is resting.
When the airfield was closed in the 90s, the employee of the remaining helicopter site was 12 years old (sock, 12 years old!) He took care of the abandoned WP. They cleaned up all year round. They did not store wood on it. For crazy money, people try less. Man believes. The planes will return.
They rescued 72 people and nine crew members. And the plane. The Tu-154 was repaired and it took off. With this PPP.

Sergey the Hundred. He is cleaning it now. If is alive.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134810
 16.10.2016
Only a woman who has children understands how pleasant it is to drink tea alone at 2 p.m.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134809
 16.10.2016
Everyone has seen in stores printing type "for persons under 18... and so on. ... yesterday saw a great thing, wanted to help the girl-propagandist Kegu change, went to the stand, there was an inscription: "to persons younger than 14.10.1998 not to sell alcohol." The girl said that it was easier to check the documents without counting the age in mind...


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №134808
 16.10.2016
by Shuhal? Remember already, ovulations - courts are not made for your faces. If for the goodness of the soul there are carpenters where your spindles could kill and kill each other, then this does not give you the right to drive out normal people from the courts with cars.

– Oh! The old man spoke!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134807
 16.10.2016
to this

Data from the Internet and my own memories of those times directly say that this song Vladimir Vysotsky dedicated to Marine Vlady.
This is hinted by the sentences from the song "she was in Paris" and "she is already in Warsaw".
Vlad is a French actress of Polish origin.

Larisa Lujina was in Paris long before Vysotsky, and really communicated with Marcel Marso, which Vysotsky sincerely envious, about which he wrote the song. In addition to their own memories, there are memories of the actors themselves, recorded by someone else. Exactly for such cases.)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134806
 16.10.2016
I did not understand! Why did Bob Dylan and not Yuri Lose get the Nobel Prize? Yuri Losa was outraged.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134805
 16.10.2016
This Parent
Sitting of Assembly. The teacher of mathematics commanded not to explain to children independently the geometric essence of the number module. It has not been so easy for me to follow the instructions of the teacher.

And I would, on the contrary, after such a statement explained to my child in detail and compared with how the teacher explains.
I can bet he’s explained wrong.


[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134804
 16.10.2016
I am red. In the classroom, contrary to all the laws of distribution and the theory of probability, I was not the only one, there was another red girl sitting next door. In principle, in addition to the color of the hair (different shades, in addition) we had nothing in common, and the eyes, and the figure, and the character are completely different, but we were persistently confused: who there would look at the eyes, the figure and the character - clearly, red, and everything here (Twins Vanu and Sanju, which is interesting, were distinguished).

In general, one day my older brother confused me with a red classmate - went to change to us in the class to bring me the forgotten keys and headed straight to her. It was much more offensive than from all the scammers about "red-shameless", by the way.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134803
 16.10.2016
xxx: the client asked to make the "+m" button, such as remind about the case in a month, did
A month later, I asked for another one.
You can’t guess what.

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Events happen every year, my young fell.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134802
 16.10.2016
Mol and rust are like terminators.

They need my clothes and my motorcycle.

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