bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №104914
 01.11.2014
M: I’m going to talk to Wassermann – what questions can I ask him?
Are you interested in the life of Anatoly Wassermann?
N: "What do you have in your third upper left inner back pocket?"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104913
 01.11.2014
From the comments to the post "Tax began to check large expenses of Russians
Large purchases without official income can turn into tax payments."

- a "sugging" - how to declare it? To form as an IP and issue an act of performed work, a receipt order under a draft? I have to pay 13% to the state. 😉 How many unemployed people are driving on kajenas and beeches.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104912
 01.11.2014
I begin to press for pity, the director forces teachers to collect money from parents, I offer help in the form of a request to the prosecutor’s office for illegal actions by the director, and I ask to act as a witness, the teacher lost the gift of speech from my greed apparently....but no more money is asked and the statement to the prosecutor’s office was asked not to write, because the director was old and soon retired.
— — —
The usual system of "vertical power", in which everyone makes a scam (extortion of money, moulding at elections, going to a rally in support of what is most upset, signing collective letters to shoot the enemies of the people like angry dogs, not even out of fear of a scam from the director, and not to put the director, who is so good... The scales are somewhere in an indefinite height and clear FIOs do not have. And at the very top someone, probably, good and fair, just can’t he alone fix it all.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №104911
 01.11.2014
The knowledgeable:
I used to joke about small members of big car owners. But the time passed, I learned how to make money and realized: no, men, this is not their little member, it is you poor men.
and----
What do you earn if you know their size? and ;)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104910
 01.11.2014
Sleep is the strongest drug. Dumb cuts for a few hours and sometimes offgenic glucose.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104909
 01.11.2014
With which, it is asked, the purpose is to try to care for children, which are guaranteed
Are they disabled / disabled etc? Half and quarters of humans all their not very long lives all the way burden both their parents and (indirectly) taxpayers? What is the percentage of great and talented in this category "people"?
-----------

Man is a social animal. And that’s what made him the most successful organism in his class. No predator stands against the tribe of men. The tribe needs their support. Feed the useless old people, they will teach you what you do not know. To contain painful children - will come up with such, fire, for example, to use. Interestingly, societies with eugenic preferences have not survived to our days.
But here are the examples you wanted: Da Vinci and Isaac Newton were born premature. Kant is painful from birth. Helmholtz was born with a watermelon and spent his entire childhood in bed. Julius Caesar and Fyodor Dostoevsky are epileptics. Einstein, Goethe, Diesel, Dickens had all the signs of schizoid psychopathy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104908
 01.11.2014
Phoenix: You know, Otto and I have a pure and tender love for centuries.
Phoenix: Because if we break up... in general, we have too much compromise on each other.
by Otto Hayaa. being together in this case is much safer)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104907
 01.11.2014
yyy: I have a girlfriend, she is 19 years old now, so she just wrote me a sms to the old meeting number and waited for me 3 hours on the street, and after six months she didn't talk to me.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104906
 01.11.2014
I just recently learned that Elijah Wood starred in one film with Sasha Gray.
222: What is the name of the film?
"The Hobbit: There and Back" :DD

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104905
 01.11.2014
> Maria Gavrilovna of "The Butterfly" Pushkin was already young: "She was in her 20th year."
Juliet’s mother at the time of the events described in the play was 28 years old. Juliet is 14.
The Balzac age, the time of a woman’s decay, came at 30 years old.
Ivan Susanin at the time of the feat was 32 years old (he had a 16-year-old daughter at the time of extradition).
Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” was 42 years old.
Anna Karenina at the time of death was 28 years old, Vronsky - 23 years old, the old husband of Anna Karenina - 48 years old.
Cardinal Richelieu was 42 years old at the time of the siege of the La Rochelle fortress described in The Three Musketeers.
But here is the phrase from the notes of the 16-year-old Pushkin: "A 30-year-old man entered the room" (it was Karamzin)

Pushkin was born in 1799. Karamzin in 1766... And when did Pushkin see 30-year-old Karamzin, 3 years before his birth?
Regarding the old woman in the novel, the direct text says that she was about 60 years old.
Other "facts" about the same degree of persistence

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104904
 01.11.2014
>>>>>>>>>>>>
In the fairy tale “The Claw of the Rye” is told about the creation and destruction of the world, about the fact that people because of the fact that they wanted to depart from the truth (to break the egg, that is, the world), were deprived of a happy life (the golden egg) and got the ordinary.
<<<<<<<<<<<
Thank you dear man. Finally someone found out the true morality of this story. Really very thank you. I was enlightened by darkness.
Serena, 43 years old

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104903
 01.11.2014
I have worked as a mathematics teacher for 20 years. And this year for the first time I read in the notebook of the 9-class student "PRIPERBOLA" and it wasn’t a joke.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №104902
 01.11.2014
...
Are you sitting on the internet or wai fa?
Do you use electricity or a connector?
...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №104901
 01.11.2014
Well, I didn’t buy the seventh bag, but the second drill. There is a drill at home, but not in the office. must correspond.
What do you wear it with?
With a brutal expression of the face!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104900
 01.11.2014
Man, remember, when your wife is happy, everyone is happy: parents, you, children, dogs, and even cockroaches! andquot;
- I, by the way, saw a cockroach today in the bathroom...
He died of happiness.

Desade

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №104899
 01.11.2014
PRAVO: Tossed blades in photos, tossed blades in the text - there was an article. Though... I spit the puppy in the accompaniment, spit the tables in the content - the government decree came out))))
You are curled! You have an order! Here is the article, I will read it!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104898
 01.11.2014
Human weaknesses are best noticed by hidden cameras.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №104897
 01.11.2014
Alexander Shirvindt said.
For the first time to Israel, I and Державиным flew from Riga through Simferopol. There are no direct flights from Moscow. The attacker was an Israeli.
Looking at the empty shelves of our then shops, he said to me:
How do you live here? Go to Israel.
In Simferopol, the plane was not released, as the customs we passed in Riga, then still Soviet. My husband and I wanted a cognac. We asked for permission to stand up on the stairs and breathe the air. The border guards recognized us. I asked for a bottle of cognac. Someone ran somewhere and brought it.
An Israeli who watched this scene said to me:
You can not leave yet.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №104896
 01.11.2014
“Uncle Jora, why are all the toilets white or light?
- Fima, because mankind for centuries has always wanted to disgrace everything pure and bright.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №104895
 01.11.2014
The Responsible:

I answered:

Maybe because it smells wild. And not everyone after visiting the toilet carries shit.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

An old joke, but on the subject:

"Doctor why, when I shoot, it always happens without sound or smell.
Drink these pills and it will go. Come in a month.

A month later:
“Doctor, I still shoot without sound, but it smells awful.
This is good. We have healed the nose, now we are flying our ears.

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