bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134781
 15.10.2016
He worked in his youth at a CB in the city of Penza. It is clear that in order to reduce ends and ends took orders from the side, students of construction and other drawing specialties were almost 1/3 of the income.
But here the case is the opposite. The boss ordered. Do urgently, drawing the sea, plus other work is full.
Well, I actually thought, and what would not give birthed students to earn. In general, the Internet to help, contacted the guys, agreed on the amount (completely modest to themselves) sent them. I calmed down on Tom.

On Monday, there was a very unpleasant conversation with the boss, to whom the student of the construction (his mother at the foot to the third knee) ordered URGENTly for the weekend to make these drawings...

They clapped, even though they roared together afterwards. The boss did everything on time.)
.•×xX^'’

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134780
 15.10.2016
Chukovsky’s real name is Nikolai Vasilyevich Kornejchukov. So is!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №134779
 15.10.2016
Let’s play the rape?
I do not want!!! to
It is praaavial :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134778
 15.10.2016
You are not the first

Google translated Bob Dylan’s song.
And for such a shit now give the Nobel Prize in Literature!? to

I read Hemingway. I didn’t even understand Hemingway.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134777
 15.10.2016
In our time, it is possible to solve the question of whether the All-Destroying Sword will break down the Nothing-Not-Destroyable Shield experimentally, although with some inversion of the original problem.

You just need to take a Chinese machine machine and shoot from it into a Chinese armor...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134776
 15.10.2016
And Alesia, Olesya and Allena - the fiction of illiterate passports and ignorant parents, these are diminishing popular variants from Helena.

Oh you are how. Ales Adamovich did not suspect that he was Elena. In fact, Alessia and Alessia is a short Belarusian version of the name Alexander/Alexander.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134775
 15.10.2016
About the alcohol from the air... If it turns out that the energy consumption is reasonable, then we will remember "Kin-Zha":
Where is the sea? They have long since made a lump.
Sorry what did you do?
Fuel, Fuel and Fuel!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134774
 15.10.2016
Teached you Lurk, taught you... "Dvigek, Boček and Novichek are the lost Albanian brothers Bolek and Lolik. There are no such words in the Russian language".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134773
 15.10.2016
There is a herbal tea that helps you quit smoking!
Is he smoking?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №134772
 15.10.2016
Envying my handwriting, the chickens look proudly at their legs.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134771
 15.10.2016
One Ivanova had a romance with the coming Sidorov, although what a romance there is, so, a note in a multi-ticket. On Tuesdays and Fridays, Sidorov rested with his soul and body from his wife, the fool and the fool. Ivanova doubted the stervoze, and about the fool Sidorov, it seems, did not lie, how else to name a woman who believes in year-round courses of improvement of managerial skill, classes twice a week, Tuesday-Friday, from seventeen to twenty-three. I still don’t know who is the bigger fool.
To the question about the future Sidorov answered, penetrating in the eyes, you understand, baby, said Sidorov, we are so good, the stamp in the passport will not change anything, well, I have such a stamp - and what? There is no love! A year ago, Ivanova tried to jump off the train, but Sidorov was sharply activated, on Tuesdays and Fridays he waited after working with three nails and told him how he would put his hands on himself, because without Ivanova, the light didn’t like him. I did not take sin on my soul.
And recently Ivanova met a beautiful fool. I said, imagine you are going home, and in the store at the entrance such Hugh Jackman, dirty, unstructured, but daring such, looking with a snail, with a handcuff, it is impossible to resist, and in general - it is not all alone. The wicked was washed off, fed and called the Gun.
By the evening it became clear that Ivanov's name was hot: either the Gun raised a bunch of bullterriers, or it was a product of genetic engineering - the genes responsible for the character of the crocodile were skillfully embedded in the cat's DNA. When trying to chew, he targeted his legs, instead of murmuring, he waved like a wild tiger and in a couple of days built a hierarchy, appointing himself an alpha and dropping Ivanov to the area of omega.
Siddhartha arrived on Tuesday.
From the threshold he asked indignantly, what else? Have you gone crazy? You know, I am allergic to hair! Get out immediately! Ivanova said, hello, Juric, he will not bother, he will sit in the kitchen! The gun in the kitchen did not want to sit, slipped into the door, jumped onto the stove and stumbled on Sidorov with an unmoving assessing look.
Sidorov sneezed and said, no, it's impossible, it's the place for him to wash! And he decidedly grabbed the gun, intending to put him out of the room. Ivanova did not have time, as Pushkov dispersed Sidrov's hand, thereby confirming his spiritual kinship with Jackman-Rosomaha, walked into the open window, in an instant of sight flew to the nearest berry and stumbled at about the level of the fourth floor.
Ivanova rushed to the window, Gun, sweet, come down, don’t be afraid! Jolly, do something about it! Sidorov went with spots, whispered, I have blood, and you worry about this creature? Choose who is more important to you, me or him. Ivanova looked at the rifle, at Sidorov, again at the rifle, thought and said, he.
Sidorov then stumbled and, crushing at the false, cried out, I regretted you, I wasted time on you! You destroyed everything yourself! He left, holding his wounded hand.
Ivanov wanted to cry, but something did not cry. Arrived in the window. Not a gun, not a silver gun. I went, I called, it didn’t matter.
I called the door tonight. The neighbor on the fourth floor said it’s not yours. I jumped from a tree to the balcony, here we go, looking for masters, we do not find, I will leave, a beautiful cat, affectionate, educated.
and Murr! said the gun.
I told Ivanov, thank you.
For a long time I wanted to come to you, but I did not dare, the neighbor said, once the case came out, let's get to know, don't you mind?
Ivanova looked at the neighbor, surprised by the inconsistency of the neighbor’s appearance with the word “robel”, turned red and said, I don’t mind, you want tea?
I want to, said the neighbor.
and Murr! said the gun.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134770
 15.10.2016
Three hours of night! Who are you?
This is the father of your student, Elena Vasilyevna! Do you sleep?
Of course!
- And we chestnuts drink, chestnuts pull - we prepare a piece for the competition "Goodbye autumn"...

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134769
 15.10.2016
Video from the registrar: "Teacher" at Kia Rio is slowed off before a long-range fight several times, as a result of the fur pulls the blister across the road, the whole side is washed.
They say that teachers get too little.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №134768
 15.10.2016
I have not been drinking for ninety-nine days.
XXX: but it is not in line.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134767
 15.10.2016
Hey to! The man! Now you can create tables of tables, and so that you can refer to the table while you are referring to the table, we, not only that we have stuck everything in one large table, but also twisted to each table by the metatable! They are like regular tables, but they make your tables cooler because they are meta tables! Do you hear, man?

Xzibit would end up with Lua continuously without coming to consciousness.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №134766
 15.10.2016
In old French, the word engeigneur derives from the Latin ingenium "inventiveness, ingenious fiction". Therefore, the primary meaning of the word engineer is "artificial inventor, ingenious inventor."

It means Tamara.

The CNC machinery? Originally

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134765
 15.10.2016
@ by
I asked about Gaia.
Fuck, little of what I am, it turns out, this same Gaika is.
Not that I’m adding even Gek.
So on the same, knock on the top, I’m also Heckelberry.
How to live now?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134764
 15.10.2016
Mathematics becomes complicated when the numbers disappear from it... Now from Science 2.0 I realized that it becomes ultimately complicated when the letters disappear from it - the mathematician drew some branching tubes on the board...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134763
 15.10.2016
Programmers are like children, to God, they rejoice in every little thing.
In the network ball pumped a folder with accused names to disassemble supporting documents on projects. Made a beautiful Excel file with auto-setting values and color indication of interactions with peers
I feel like a caring grandmother with grandchildren. In my 27...

[ + 24 - ] [15 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134762
 15.10.2016
It seems to me that it is not worth looking for much meaning in children's family nicknames, not always they are attached to the name. I have a long-time adult acquaintance named Valeria, whose family name is Lila, because that’s how she called herself when she started speaking.
I remember the wonderful children's book Oseeva "Dinka", in which the younger sisters Dinka and Musk are actually Hope and Angelica. And Peter the First and Catherine in general in the family called their son Petya, if you can find a connection between Petya and Petya, you are definitely an extraordinary person.

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