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[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137181
 23.12.2016
Among the Orcs and Goblins, who flocked to the Internet through portals such as однокласссники_ru, there is a stable expression - "see the Internet". Used in the context of the type -"I have no time at all, I look at the internet once a week".
You understand, yeah? They walk here like in a zoo.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137180
 23.12.2016
Everybody likes to answer, I’ll ask. Why do men post wedding photos on dating sites? or a group photo (one), or a picture in an embrace with a beauty? Please do not throw rotten tomatoes, I am really interested.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137179
 23.12.2016
The disadvantages of non-traditional medicine: three impotent brothers were killed during the ritual rape of a crocodile.

They were raped by a shaman who tried to cure them from impotence.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137178
 23.12.2016
As a child, she lived with her parents in a dormitory near the factory for several years.

Neighbors to the right - a family with three children, aunt Tamara, uncle Grish, the older daughter a couple of years younger than me, the younger recently started walking. Neighbors to the left are a family of adults with a daughter-student Marina. After some time it turned out that Aunt Tamara and Marina were generally peers and studied in parallel classes. Only one in fifteen was in the ninth class and was preparing to enter, and the other was already walking in a wheelchair.

The population of the dormitory was divided into two conditional categories - "country", arriving from the villages and villages surrounding the city, and "city", arriving from other cities. The first believed that Tamara was good, the brain did not dry up by studying and created a family, and Marinka was a fool. The second is that Marina is good, studying and wanting to something, and Tamara buried herself in diapers.

Tamara and Marina, which is characteristic, lived, as they wanted, on the "authoritative" opinions of sneezing wanted.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №137177
 23.12.2016
x: photo_ventile_in_Nizhnevartovsk.jpg
Y: Yeah, I remember lying it at 59, the bloodshed sneezed and immediately froze. The salmon hanged 20 cm bloody.
Y: Nizhnevartovsk has its own laws
Y: went on the mushrooms in the summer - drowned in the swamp. I walked on the river in the spring, and the flood took you away. I went to the store in the winter and didn’t come.
In the summer, the turf is burning and we can’t breathe. He breathed, but there was no air. A vacuum and a harp. Choose to breathe whatever you want.
Y: and while you choose, the frost fuels
y: and the vacuum froze up to -70
Y: and the night is always winter
Y: and the nights of self-driving are like red sails. Not just children, but all.
Y: Then the swamps outside the city from the bodies from the shores come out. Menta does not like it - hangers are formed
Y: That’s why they burn the mud. forest fires - the turf is burning
Y: But the mushrooms grow wrought, huge. You go after them - and in the swamp
Y: And while you dive, pray: even if the frost would fade and the mud would freeze. It took me a couple of times. He smelled the lick of frozen sweat from his forehead and went home.
y: and always passed by that valve
Y: He manipulated me
y: The pipe was next to the house, chased oil to feed Mother Russia
y: and the ventile was a type of stopcraper
Y: But he wasn’t guarded – everyone knew that the important thing was...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137176
 23.12.2016
From Listening

Once, my colleague and I drank so much during a business trip using his work card that one day he was called by the boss, who looked at the printing of what such a sum went on and carefully advised "although eat sometimes".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137175
 23.12.2016
If on the desktop of your husband's computer, the screensaver is your photo, then he is a clever bastard.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137174
 23.12.2016
told a acquaintance. Not a blonde)

We opened a barbecue near the house. I went after work in the evening, noticed a new sign and decided to go in. It was just time to cut off, and my master moved to work in another salon and driving to her became far and uncomfortable.

He greeted me and asked for a haircut. They put me in a chair. When I cut my hair, I talked to the master. I liked the result and after a while I went back to the haircut.

The administrator asked me:

Last time I was confused, and now I want to clarify: why did you decide that in the men's salon we do women's hairstyles?

I was surprised, like a man.

Well, we have right in the title is written: barber salon "Just man".

And I always had problems with English: I know the letters, but I have no vocabulary.

I read “Just Man” as Jasmine. I was right to say that the room was female.

In general, we laughed with the administrator and the master and I have been cutting them for more than 5 years. She is the only female visitor in the men’s room.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137173
 23.12.2016
All strictly employed time

What is the problem? Make a mutual account! Reworked a couple of hours this month - give up for the same amount in the next if you do not want to pay for overtime. Need more than a couple of hours? administrative at their own expense. You can always agree.

Overtime is a problem for management. Are you unable to properly allocate tasks? Let it be ready to pay overtime or to employees who will sneeze strictly during working hours. Because the employee does not work for the sake of work, with the family also want to spend time. Or just spend your favorite time. I love my job, but I won’t be overtime – I don’t want to get full and burn up before time.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137172
 23.12.2016
If a woman goes out without looking in the mirror, then it is a man.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №137171
 23.12.2016
A bit of prehistory. A few years ago I got on the operating table - I was undergoing surgery on my leg. It was on March 3, just before International Women’s Day. On the leg had to do several incisions, the extreme of which in the pelvis along the line of bending of the leg.
So, I am under anesthesia on the table, I am cut all over. But 20 minutes before the operation ends, the anesthesia begins to release, and I wake up. I opened my eyes without burning - in front of me a tissue screen, because of which nothing is visible. Well, I was upset and decided to pretend to sleep further, so as not to upset the surgeon (I was done anesthesia in the spine, from which I did not feel the legs and everything below the belt, so it was virtually not painful). Shortly, it comes to the extreme cuts, just near my farm.
It, clear foam, interferes, and the surgeon constantly pushes it aside. Obviously from all these manipulations I had such a normal stand!
I understood this not only by the laughter of everyone in the operating room, but also because the two young nurses sitting next to the head jumped sharply at all of this.
In short, I am lying down with myself standing on the operating table and pretending to be the most sleepy person on earth – a shameful cape! And here the surgeon, referring to the anesthesiologist, issues a mega-epic phrase (I will remember, soon March 8): "Petrovich, I will come to you on March 8, you will do me the same anesthesia - I will please my wife!“...
I have never demonstrated such a willpower!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №137170
 23.12.2016
A guy with a girlfriend in bed is near the morning. She is:
Let me again?
He (thinkingly looking down under the blanket):
Go and make an agreement...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137169
 23.12.2016
Great dialogue heard.
C is the worst
A – Analyst
R – Drawing

A: Something is not working.
Q: Ask R if she has seen it or not.
A: < asks>
C: You see the kiwi, but somehow wrong, from side to side

:DD

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137168
 23.12.2016
From Hicks
The quote:
During the test trials of the diamond radio receiver, the scientists worked, including, in conditions of elevated temperature - about 350 degrees Celsius.
The commentary:
Poor scientists, why are they in the oven?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137167
 23.12.2016
M: I’ve been scared by the Uber driver so long ago. I sit in the car, and he is there in a dress with a tie and asks – "What about the classics?" I think – what is he about? It turns out, I asked which music is better to turn on.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137166
 23.12.2016
A grandfather stands in the fish department of the supermarket, looks at the price book "Skumbria, Atlantic, cold smoking" and says, "So this is what you are, Goldfish."

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137165
 23.12.2016
Harold No We at the university had an associate professor with the name of Spakhserhermanntreyfreibaum. He had a unique ability: to record his whole name.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137164
 23.12.2016
The nurse and the nurse differ not only by gender, but also by the functions performed.

Then it would be logical to assume the existence of the terms "medbrothers" and "sisters"...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137163
 23.12.2016
The Medbrother

> And how will the male be "sister-husband"? and :)

Deputy Director for the Economic Part

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137162
 23.12.2016
At the age of 40 life is just beginning to end.

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