He worked in a couple of male groups, where single copies of girls were found. In appearance, they are terrible. Nature, the fox, separated them with both appearance and figure. But these girls were so cute and pleasant in communication that they quickly stopped paying attention to their exterior. These girls were barely worn on their hands. What burned the curtains of local beauties: "what, say, they (men) found such in these silver curtains (this is so local beauties about our favourites)". Beautiful and homeless, that after communicating with them created a disgusting feeling of "dog shit on the rifle floor." And after communicating with the frighteners, there was such warmth in the soul as if the goddess had embraced him.

I had a relationship with an alcoholic in the past. I was young and stupid. I met on vacation with a beautiful man, a romance that continued after coming home. After some time it turned out that the hero of my novel actually drinks bitter, and on vacation he had just a period of sobriety. He was just drowned by his family after another drink. I was deeply in love and believed that with the power of my love I would be able to save him, to pull him out of the mud, to make him stop drinking. I realized it was impossible, only a few months later. The man drank, as it turned out, all his conscious life and kept on the float only thanks to his relatives. But at first I was wearing pink glasses and going on dates with him, and then I even lived with him for a while until the same pink glasses slept. Every meeting with him was wonderful in its own way. But I especially remembered one thing. In the winter evening, I came to the arranged place, under the shop next to his house. There was no cavalry. I waited ten minutes and decided to call him. Maybe something happened.

Then I am I, this guy.

I am...Hello! Something happened? I have been waiting for you for 10 minutes. You will not come? have forgotten?

H: No is no. I have come. I am here.

I: How did I come? You are not here.

Q: I am here. And I see you. You are in a white jacket.

Yes, in the white. Where are you?

I fell behind the cars and lay down. But I see you.

xxx: I had a pipe flowing and a neighbor on the ground floor was fighting for a long time. It seemed like it was fine, promising not to bother anymore.

Three years passed. I am on a mission. The hotel. A tube breaks in my room. At the floor below, also on a business trip, was my neighbor.

Between the house and the hotel about 6000 km.

YYY: I respect you! Pursue the neighbors.

Once the first-class son confessed that he fell in love with the girl Masha in the class.

Some time later, Masha’s mother shared with my wife the secret that Masha was also indifferent to my son.

So, on the weekend, all of the class went on a day trip. I watched the lovers. They were the most indifferent people.

Young people are always expensive.

At the beginning of the 20th century, the goalkeeper of the Czech national team, František Planicka, was famous for his ability to confidently beat the penalties of even the best bombers. When an eleven-metre-long was assigned to his gate, he seemed to take off the cap from his head, sweep it into the gate and took his position. Nine times out of ten, the opponent's team's footballer hit exactly the corner of the gate where the cap went.

On the first wedding night, the young people in bed long corresponded on the phone and fell asleep tired and happy.

xx: Just yesterday it was necessary to dismantle the old Soviet closet for discharge. So I settled with my son. I pulled things out. A 12-year-old boy found a bag, and in it an anal congestion. I asked, what is it, Mom? I immediately found something to answer - it's daddy's stuff, don't touch, give it here! Of course, this is not my husband's block, my husband gave me. I don’t know why he said that, but I was ashamed. I need to tell my husband, suddenly the son will ask.

Yyy: In a couple of years he will find out what it was and he will be ashamed of his father.

Your humour reminded me of Camilla.

One day, I borrowed a foldable table from my neighbors. They gave me a table and gave me a dolma. In order not to return the plate empty, I presented a charlotte. The next day, the neighbor's son brought a shale and asked not to fall into the recursion.

Simplified urine analysis.
Go out and write in the garden.
If ants gather - diabetes.
If you urinate on your feet - prostatitis.
If it smells like a barbecue, cholesterol is exaggerated.
If when shaking your wrist hurts - arthrosis.
If the fingers are gout.
If when shaking you still managed to do 5-6 step-by-step movements - Parkinson's disease.
And if you go back to your room with your penis out of your pants – Alzheimer’s disease.

Once I argued with a girl that there is no truth in the horoscopes, and she replied that I don’t understand anything, that you have to believe the stars and everything like that.

So I told her, let me read the horoscope about you (she’s a cancer), and you’ll tell me how much the stars are right :)

In general, I read: you are a purposeful person, love order, maintain comfort and sometimes with your character you are not simple, bla, bla, bla.

She always said, in point, it’s about me, yes, it’s me.

Would you see her eyes when I told her I read the horoscope about Taurus?

There were two people coming from the gas service, watching the plate.

First, it smells like gas.

Everything is okay, it’s me.

One of my friends tried his sperm. The taste is specific, but I’t say it’s disgusting. The sea water looks like something, but the consistency is different. Well, according to him.

yyy: Ah, friend, of course, according to his words)

xxx: Okay, things are different, you can even try.

YYY: Did he fall and accidentally suck?

xxx: 1) kissing your partner after she made you piss

2) Oral affectionate partner's breasts after dropping her on tits

3) cunnilingus after unprotected sex to make the matter crazy, or to prevent the partner from cooling before the second event.

Okay, a slide

How to eat your sperm if you are embarrassed

I have coughed often lately. Ordered on the advice of a friend tea collection on herbs "pure lungs" is called. The courier arrives tonight.

I went to the store and said to my husband:

- here the courier should come, if anything, receive delivery, I ordered tea for my lungs.

A glance to my side:

Do you think you are easy?

...

What is the difference between the roof and the government? The roof takes money and solves problems, and the government takes money and creates problems. They decide the roof.

Soloviev invited to the transfer of the winners of the contest "leaders of Russia". “Look, fair competition, young winners, social elevator. Here stands a young man, he won the contest, without any mud and bonds, and at the age of 30 became the governor of Yamal. He comes from an ordinary family. Yes is? Well, who are the parents, admit, ordinary people?” Yes, my parents worked at the university.
Soloviev is joyful, pathosny, this is how we are honest!

A young man, from the simple family of the first deputy speaker of the Tyumen Regional Duma, the head of the parliamentary faction "United Russia".

This is the kind of talented youth.

Officials decided to take the radioactive waste from Europe, where their families live, and bring it to Russia, where you live.

It happened that I sat down on a floating, pink fantasy.

It started because sometimes it is boring at work. Here I sit on a compass, this activity occupies part of my brain, and the rest is missing. The music quickly got bored, audio books went. Teaching books or complex in terms took up too many resources - I either distracted myself from work, or stopped understanding the meaning of the text... I sat down on a light fantasy, well there about spiders, magicians, dragons and so on.

One such story really caught me: I listened to the audio, there was no more sound, but there was a continuation in the form of an electronic version of the next part - bought, read. The next part was in the writing process. I found a resource where the author continued one chapter. And as a drug addict, she was waiting for a continuation and another dose in the form of the head of this fantasy opus. At some point the author wrote: “Dear readers, I have good news for you, my book has been released in paper format in such a publishing house! I will no longer publish the book here in parts, buy the full edition!”

Oh, great, paper edition...who needs it! I have broken all the inets, there is no electronic version, well, I will buy paper, I will carry this brick in my bag and read on the way to work from work.

I ordered the book in a popular online store, the self-driving point of which was just on the way from work to home. The mail came, I went to pick up and then I was persuaded: "And how did I be an adult, serious woman and bought such a completely, absolutely unserious book, which could only interest schoolgirls of puberty?" I decided that I would not open the packaging with strangers, so as not to be ashamed.

At the point of self-driving, the package is brought to me by a bearded, brutal guy, under thirty years old, he asks, "Do you open the package?"

I thought, “How can he know what a book it is, let it unpack, I won’t have to argue with this cardboard later.”

“Open it!” I said confidently.

The guy with one movement of the knife cut the cardboard, the top half of the cover appeared: "Oh, this is *****!" - he breathed out the name of the main heroine of the book. “This is where she is...” and then the guy burns out the short content of the book.

“No,” I answered, “what you described is the second part of the book, and this (I point to the purchase) is the third.”

“You are what! I shouted a broken man. Is the third part out?“!”

“Yes, just,” I replied, and rushed away, pressing a new book to my chest, until I was taken away.

Politicians are divided into two categories: some believe that the end justifies the means, while others are convinced that the means (of course, money) is the main goal!