bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №21498
 18.10.2009
XXX is OK. Where are you geographically located?
The Yaroslavl Highway
and OMG. This is what has scattered you...

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №21497
 18.10.2009
My father is a former programmer.
He was witnessing a conversation between him and a young man.
“You know, God created man, but when God found bugs in his program, he removed man into a basket, to the Earth. And sometimes he looks into the basket and recovers those files that have become good... Yes.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №21496
 18.10.2009
I want you to watch football!
She: Oh, maybe we’d better go to a sports bar?
He is not, he is not.
She: Well... football... together... in a sports bar. This is... family.
I like your ideas about family vacation.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №21495
 17.10.2009
Sunday morning, 8 to 30. I stand in the hallway, dressed and dressed. I just had breakfast, I looked at the phone and thought:"Nahua?!!"...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №21494
 17.10.2009
I never thought that at 24 years of life I would be so happy with two new cartridges for Dendy with "Chip and Dale" and "DoubleDragon" =)
SMF

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №21493
 17.10.2009
to this:
Why the order of disks starts with "C"
____________________________
A long time ago, when computers were large and monitors were small, such devices as FDD 5.25 and FDD 3.5 stood in the system units.
The old evil odmin O_o catshredder...

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №21492
 17.10.2009
And then people stop trailing...
And all who were in the audience, all 40 with more than a person rushed out completely without a back-thinking.
The damn!
– – – –
I’ve been guiding you for the whole semester.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №21491
 17.10.2009
I came to work at the staff and issued the 404 card number.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21490
 17.10.2009
Kenny is Hi.
and Annie :)
What kind of shit do you say to me??? The Fucks!!!!! to
No, you weren’t silent in the multicolor.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №21489
 17.10.2009
Shedding hair in a cat
Well, if you give your cat 20 minutes of affection and some snack after each peeling, she may forgive you...until the next time.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Buy a lot of wax and a lot of patch.
Then he will forgive.
Maybe it is XD

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №21488
 17.10.2009
SeRgio: MiXa, well, I became a manager, I work in a large company
MiXa: SeRgio, good, and I am an accountant! ))
Diane, who are you?
MeDveD: SeRgio, MiXa, how do you tell me?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №21487
 17.10.2009
The man who feeds the cat with oatmeal.

Cook him oatmeal on chicken or fish broth - what he likes more. Or mix with baby meat pudding from pots.
Sadly an animal. You torment completely.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №21486
 17.10.2009
As practice shows, the most sensitive areas of the female body are not detected by the lover, but by the epilator.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №21485
 17.10.2009
ctype: I copy-paste a piece of text, well very large (screen 20) and then I insert it into the console and this piece starts to insert first quickly and then the speed drops somewhere to 30-40 characters per second, is it somehow treated?
Obvious: I just wonder, and why do you do this?
Obvious: something like "I tried to swallow a baton of sausages whole, the first 10 cm of nicho, and the rest slowly"

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №21484
 17.10.2009
Learn to admire! My daddy has a beard and a sweater. At the same time, the wife is able to cook, and has nothing against Zaporozhye in the apartment and even the child from somewhere they got. If he had a cat...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21483
 17.10.2009
Nadia: I am busy.
I understand, not stupid.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21482
 17.10.2009
Sorry, but this is for a couple who treated a cat with oatmeal. Was it not the fate of Valerian to drop in the cough? He would have eaten himself, while he would have also roasted and asked for supplements. The real case - in the village, a veterinarian argued with a neighbor - poured his roof with this same grain, cats from all over the district in three days ate the whole ruberoid.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №21481
 17.10.2009
It is not a disaster when there is no population growth, but a disaster when the number of people is decreasing and the number of human-like is growing.! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №21480
 17.10.2009
I wonder – is it genetic, or is it acquired over the years? I think that over the years, because after my parents I have never noticed anything like this. And here I am – yes, hundred percent, well, the same, the dumb one, tonight turned out.

He had already fallen asleep, and some of his tenth dream saw, as he suddenly remembered that the garbage tank did not roll out to the road, and tomorrow morning its garbage collectors had to clean. So, not waking up, and rushing into the garage, - to perform the household duties.

He went into the garage and pushed the door behind him. I pushed it so slightly, so gently... I even had time to look back to see how this door makes a gentle “chok” around the lock well. Here I finally woke up and found out that I was standing in the middle of the garage in some trousers and shorts. There is nothing else with him, neither the phone nor the keys. Roja is not shaved, indeed, but I can’t open the locked doors. And the assembly is full - the door opens from the house to the garage, and backwards - x... does not open, in general.

No, of course, I did not become a prisoner of the castle of Iff – no problem to get out on the street, but back to the house – FIG. In the summer, I might not care, I would fall on the lawn to crack until morning. It’s not summer, it’s mid-October and it’s raining. And 7 degrees of heat on board... behind the garage, that is.

I first thought of sleeping in the car, so that in the morning to wait - hell there, both cars were locked, the number did not pass. In despair, the cat's house smoked, it is in our garage for the case. He pulled the cloth from him, threw it on the floor, began to adjust. My mother had time to whip five times during this time - what was difficult for her to give birth to me with a liliput?
If I were small, I would be wrapped in these pieces now, and sleep like a baby in a cushion....In general, I put the pieces of straw under my ass and on my head for half an hour, then I realized that I would die on the concrete floor until the morning, and that it was time for me to give up.

I pushed my nose out, it rained. I was around, and on the outside it was a nightmare. There is nothing to do anyway, jumped out in the rain, and straight to the front door of our house, to ring. At fifteen minutes before the door of Jigu-Jigu danced – neither wife nor son woke up.

And what to do next? The neighbors knocking? Fuck him, why not?
- in the extreme case, let the police call, it will be warmer in the area, and in the morning my wife will take it from there.

So, in cowards, and ran to the nearest house, and let him get into it. I don't know if there was an effect - at some point it seemed to me that the light there in the window lit up, but somehow it immediately went out. Now I understand, if I had been dressed, maybe they would have called the police, and so, seeing the naked fool under the door, they just locked up stronger, away from sin.

It is cold for me!! For heating I ran through the street, and swallowed a little, maybe someone will respond? I have responded, ahah! Someone’s dog followed me and went to sleep.

He moved back into the garage. I look around, suddenly I realize that there are two layer stairs hanging on the wall. The last chance! He ran out again – exactly, on the third floor the window is open. Good luck to you, A! Like a fool, I catch the ladder smaller, and in my wet trousers I run back under the rain. I set up a staircase to the window, the meter two is not reached.
“Figny,” like a fool, I think, “I’ll run...” And rushed up from the top...

Did any of you run on a wet roof? I didn’t do it before, but I ran here. And he ran so well, a little to not reach the window. Unfortunately, it doesn’t count a little, I couldn’t catch up... And, slowly, slowly, and then faster and faster, I rolled down.
As the Caracattis twisted, he had just gotten his hands and these dusty wet cowboys for everything. And then I grabbed the ladder, so I turned around with her. While he was flying, he hoped that the neighbors would fall into the window, maybe, at least then the police will be called... Someone, on a tree... struck, and in a bush slopes. I am a ninja born, without any noise.
No infection worried me.

I decided, I will die. It was the brain I decided, and my legs took me back into the garage. And then on a full machine, I pulled out a large staircase from the garage, attached it to the window, got there, broke the grid from the moss, and into the window, I am already half-dead.

I don’t think of anything anymore, only I feel that the warmth around me is finally out of the room. And suddenly I hear: “File, folder! “You are the best Indian!”
Half winding up from the window, I open my eyes – in front of me my seven-year-old son. And the lights of him glow:

“I,” he says, “have seen it all! You’ve played so well with the Indians, take me with you tomorrow, PLEASE! I want to be as cool as you!”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №21479
 17.10.2009
Yesterday in the broadcast "Good night, baby" the puppet manager accidentally struck his head on the table.
Children have never heard of such wishes.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna