bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134641
 12.10.2016
You are on whose side?

XH is:
Just like in Vyborg.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134640
 12.10.2016
and blues:
That’s why I love King. Strong and uncompromising realism. If at the beginning of the story of any other writer the protagonist is wounded in the leg, by the middle of the story he will in the best case a little shrink. At the end of the day, I run as if nothing happened.

King is not so. His character's wound will purify (three pages with the description of this process), then the flies will fly (another two pages), then the hero will start to go crazy of pain (another five pages filled with the most terrible torments and glutes).

And then there are two options for ending - good and bad. When the protagonist scrubs his leg with a rugged shaft and finally goes crazy from the pain - it's a good ending. In bad he just dies.

I respect Stephen.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134639
 12.10.2016
In the corporate chat
X: What’s up with 1C? Are they done at all?
YYY: No one can do it. One programmer, and they say want to be fired. There was yours.
Xxx: Is it so difficult to find 1C programmers? With their work they say the martyrs will handle it)
Yyy: Deleted this message, suddenly will read
Oh yes, I forgot, these martyrs understand Cyrillic.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134638
 12.10.2016
From the video on YouTube:
To decorate this detail, I used the skin of a crocodile.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134637
 12.10.2016
XXX is mr.
xxx: I have a troll here, can you throw me a thousand on a sberovsk card if you have it?
Tagged: mr
Didn’t you have a Skype?
XXX: No
XXX: You have a member.
YYY: Well, also me, personal information, and the pol of Moscow knows it :-P

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №134636
 12.10.2016
In a small town, a local rich man Rabinovich dies.

He gave all his wealth to his two sons. But to the intelligent and hardworking Ize he leaves only a corchma, and to the ruthless and eternally drunk Yash - all the rest.

Rebecca, who came to visit a dying man, tries to guide him on the path of wisdom:

“It’s not my business, it’s your money and your sons, but Yasha will drink all your fortune in six months!”! to

is right. But where will he drink it if there is only one barbecue in the city?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134635
 12.10.2016
<FreeBSD> Good night
<pp> FreeBSD: This is not an anime channel
<ibl> what do you have against anime?
<pp> ibl: this is a preventive strike on the enemy)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134634
 12.10.2016
Owners "Rabbit shells" do not see value in the gold shell, from their point of view the value of eggs in what can be eaten. That’s why their behavior seems illogical.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134633
 12.10.2016
In general, the abolition of the death penalty for terrorists – at least Muslims – makes sense. In their heads, forgive, killed: martyrdom in the name of faith is rewarded with paradise, gurus and all such. Therefore, I am now doing things in the name of Allah, a little punishment during the death penalty, and then eternal bliss. If the death penalty is replaced by life imprisonment or a long term imprisonment, so that the terrorist, having served 40-60 years, at the age of 80 years or died in prison, or, having been released in the same 80 years, in the home of the elderly from opportunistic infections, fatal to the weakened body of old age, this will no longer be considered a heroic death. And if there is - the postulates of faith, you know, sometimes change to a favorable situation - the prospect of many years to rot in prison is not as rainy as a couple of bullets and immediately into heaven.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134632
 12.10.2016
On Sunday, a worried cleaner called — while she was washing the floor in the IT department, the monitor on the wall repeatedly said “Crazy!” with the voice of a well-known Tim. It was very cautious to her.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134631
 11.10.2016
and name
I would like to advise you to change your name officially in your passport. seriously. To teach others to a new name is even easier than to a certain treatment (minimising, nickname). The process of changing documents is not as time-consuming as it seems - you need to get a new birth certificate in the ZAGS, then a passport. Well, and in detail - insurance, INN, honey. All types of bank cards. There are a few instances, mostly you just have to file an application and wait. Even with all the possible bureaucratic thread, the process will take a month (the longest of all is the passport table), and a couple of thousands of rubles for customs duties.
I decided and changed my unloved childhood name 2 years ago - it's such a joy! 100 for comfort. Now I think: why I endured at all 27 years, I had to go and change at the first opportunity :)
Good for you <3

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №134630
 11.10.2016
Everything has long been invented.
In Israel, as the murderers were buried in pig skins, so they were immediately reduced.


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134629
 11.10.2016
xxx: the customer until the mom does not cuddle us and is extremely constructive
yyy : strange )
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY I wanted to say good! :D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134628
 11.10.2016
Yes, I know it’s not Byzantine, but it’s a beautiful version, agree? and :)

/////////////////////////////////////

Let us agree. Moreover, "Byzantine" is only from the words of a patient whose adequacy is somewhat questionable.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №134627
 11.10.2016
Another idea to fight Islamic terrorists: the bodies of those who died in prison are fed to dogs, which closes access to the Muslim paradise.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134626
 11.10.2016
and name

It is Antonina! And without three letters – Anton) Here, she’s crazy, and she’s crazy that everyone calls her Anton)))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №134625
 11.10.2016
and name
Or maybe Antonina? And it’s hard for her because everyone calls her Anton (probably because of... emm... appearance)?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134624
 11.10.2016
The announcement is signed "Administration".
One word opened the subject.
What a color it played.
What meaning is it filled with.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134623
 11.10.2016
The test: Hi! I have a question about Noxxxx.
Analyst: It begins... The tester doesn’t come to work to make friends!
T: You say it as if my questions are seducing you.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134622
 11.10.2016
Today in the morning, a game of danetki on the radio: the hosts (B) guess the person and answer the questions of the listeners either "yes" or "no". Call a girl (D) and a guy named Anton (A):

A: This is a very famous personality.
Q: Is it a man?
A: Yes
A: Is it a woman?
A is mmm. and Anton! We guessed the character, and he was alone. If he’s just discovered he’s a man, how can he become a woman in 2 seconds? We move to the next question.
Q: Is he high?
W is yes. He is 180 cm tall, so he is tall.
A: Is she beautiful?
A is Anton! You are awake! We are now playing a game in which we guessed a character. You have to guess who we’ve guessed. We just found out that this is a man, he is tall. We move to the next question.
Q: Is he an athlete?
W is yes. and Anton! We just found out that we guessed the man that he was tall, that he was an athlete. You have to ask a question about this character.
Anton was silent for 15 seconds.
A: It is Taeaak. Of course, we go to the next question.
Q: Is he a footballer?
W is yes!
A: Is he a basketball player?
A: No
D is Arshavin?
A: No
A: of the Akinfeev? And suddenly!
V is no.
Does he play in a foreign club?
W is yes!
Is it Ronaldo?
A to A to A to A!! We will give you as the winner a ticket to...

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