Sponsor of the cooking program is toilet paper. How "thin" )

From comments on Habr:
Somehow the phrase “lost virginity” for a man is not very suitable :) Write better “first time fucked” or “my first sex” :)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH How is it?
and gifts. Remember I said I had a cat?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh The black fucking?
WOW: So, imagine my surprise when in the morning, wearing my pants, I stumbled on something soft in my pants. Of course, I thought from the spring that the scarf was left there again. And when this scarf stumbled and grabbed my nails in my heels, I got it with a mat and screams... well you understood)
and x)

recently on the bus. The girl sitting in front of me is calling. She has been looking for a long time in her bag. Only all this happens under the appropriate melody on the call, the main theme of "Fort Boyard".

Do you want coffee?
With pleasure!
We only have sugar!
Korshun

Army from 18 to 28 (this is the age), but since there is no one with whom they do not fight, the soldiers build roads, dig channels, dig fields.

Especially for those who are scared of 10 years of service.
In the USSR, some believed that it was good to serve so much.
My grandfather served from 43 to 52. Fought for two years. In the year 46 no one was released from the service (no one was called, everyone who could have already been in the army), remained on overtime, in the year 49 they were released home, came to the village - and there hunger. He said goodbye to everyone and immediately left for the second overtime.

xxx: accounts in mail, Skype, etc. They give everyone without exception.
xxx: You get a strict letter from Svetlana, the head of the business analysis department of a large Russian company, and you understand that everything is serious.
xxx: and then you see in the signature in addition to all other contacts - "skype: Svetik_1984", and you understand that nothing terrible "The Candle" will definitely not do you :)

from the chat of one game, a trip to the raid boss

X: the ass I hear - the ass smells!

XXX: It was specific.
YYY : Why?
Because I am surrounded by judges.
YYY: It is normal. What did you fish?
XXX: The Fools
XXX: The Fuck
YYY: Did you want to say "shuka"?

Do you also kill mosquitoes and cockroaches?
Barsukan: There are no tarakans. Mosquitoes in self-defense. In self-defense, I can kill a person.
Beta: This is an excess of self-defense - the mosquito can not and will not kill you.

xxx: News: The Ulyanovsk administration fired an official responsible for the fight against corruption and previously retired for fraud
XXX: This is how we live.

Lead_singer: Las returned from the hospital last week.
Lead_singer: After his injury, he began to have problems with memory. We only learned about it today...
Lightbrinder: Why?
Lead_singer: He forgot to say )))

From Habr.
In fact, it was a little less so. The country needed arms plutonium in industrial quantities. During its production, a huge amount of energy is released, which needs to be discharged, otherwise it will be babah - here they built a nuclear power plant and came up with a fairy tale about a peaceful atom.

Shall we go to the cinema?
No, there is a whole
Q: a "country"?
Fuck your bond, porn is better
Tagged with: boron
Tagged: fucking

From the summary:
"There are no children and I don’t drink"

And yet, the sores are in our blood :)
xxx: Aunt approaches and says to uncle "Here's who called you all night?"
xxx: He - "Yes my alarms are on"
xxx: She - "At 6 in the morning although you didn't have to go to work?"
xxx: He - "All, burned, gathered in bats"
XXX: She - "And why did he not get up?"
There’s a grandfather sitting next to him and responsible for him – "Probably because he didn’t get up.)"

Call for technical support: "Please check my system unit, in connection with the release of warm air from it"

In connection with the start of the heating season, all computers of the Moscow office are transferred to winter mode.
These measures were taken to improve the comfort of office employees"

The Miley Root:
Ukrainians voted for Chuck Norris and Kthulhu.
I don’t know what to add...

The client forgot his cell phone. Looking through her phone contacts, I find some Sergey. I call from her phone... He can’t understand what happened, I explain to him three times that the client has forgotten the phone, please contact her so that she can come to us by phone.
He finally understood, thanked, calls back in a minute. I pick up the phone. – Well, when will it come? So I call her to give her information... And the phone, what do you have?? to

Discussions about female mercantilism:

The USSR also began to collapse, as the wives demanded a piece of money from abroad.

It turns out that the iron curtain is broken :D

3: Well so clear pepper - the women looked at all kinds of Emanuel and wanted their men as foreigners, in the spark of the passion of the coward ran - and the council-sewing seams deadly, it is not the belts of the army that any fool will break but the foreign fuck you get, here and raised the rebellion))))))))))))