Today, sitting on the bench, I fed the vortex.
So did the cat too.

The Boss! Remember to!

If you behave toward your subordinates in a Gandhian way, don’t be surprised if, during a corporative event, unknown people pour a horse dose of laxative into your cocktail, and the toilet is closed by other unknown people.

X: I want an ohuenly dramatic picture
X: Blame me
A: What kind of one?
X: Here you look at her.
X: Is it worth it, or are you crying from sadness?
Do you kill a cat in your underwear?

Telemarketing in Israel for Russian-speaking audiences.
Telephone operator (T): Alo, hello
I : Hi
Q: Do you speak Russian?
I : No
T: (in Hebrew) Sorry for the worry

Why do you need a jeep with female chairs? Fuck you, fuck the kids! And women, is it interesting? With the strawberries, right?
It is like a gynecologist.
- Ah, I can imagine this picture: the jeep stops, looks inside, and there...

From good to bad one click.

"When I worked with Arkady Raikin, - remembers Mikhail Zhvanetsky, - I was not at home, in Odessa, two years. On the table was a full agenda for the military. He went, the soldier ruined: “What if the war?! Where to look for you?“”
I said, “Start, I will come.”

The circle of some people is a circle with a zero radius.
They call it a point of view.

qqq: Someday (even in the last century) I saw on the basement of the house traces of a child’s play in the "hillside", guessed (and guessed!) There was the word KINCONK – apparently, the level of literacy of both players was roughly equal. and :-)

And then – “long hair dry long”? Hey, you will still say that you do not take a shower before the pool and have not heard of hair caps!
__________________________________________
When taking a shower, they do not always wash their heads, and hats do not protect against wet. They protect against the fact that the chin-nit rapunzel curls throughout the pool did not float around the owners, and "separated from the branch of the birthplace."

Comments on Rambler News:

I don’t have a computer at all and I don’t use the internet. I have not used it and will not use it."

this

– – – – –
A survey was conducted on one website: "Do you often write in the sea while swimming?"

It turns out that 50% of people suck in the sea!

– – – – –
And you finally started guessing why the water in the sea is salty?

Well, what fool had thought of translating Phantommas as a ghost? O.O

xxx: Vandal rollers wrote on the building of the Rod House "Respawn".

I will probably finish your halloween, about the scraping.
As my former boss said, he was his boss at the time.
When you are standing, at the base, with your right hand, then without tearing off your right hand, with your left hand, now - cutting off the gesture with the edge of your right palm and:
Everything is short, everything is short. :)

Hello Vicentich, you're old fucking if you're still alive. and max.

Mom: First in my life "invisible" entered Egypt. We bought all the statuettes we saw, my three-year-old daughter forced me to teach the names of all the gods and their wives, and in the evenings she told me how one brother killed another, cut him in pieces, and how the wife then collected those pieces throughout the whole land of Egypt. Then there were the fairy tales of Shakerezada, with hatred, there were a thousand of them! and one! In a year I learned everything.
Then there were bionics. But somehow they passed quickly, I breathed calmly.
Then came Anime. Tails with spikes, blue legs and red eyes were all over the apartment. Every night I was forced to teach someone there to incarnate. I learnt the bats. We taught them for two years.
I think, well, all, the child has grown up, now let’s talk about literature in the evenings... I, of course, suspected something when the thick books... of one author... John, Ronald Roel, his mother, Tolkien... but I didn’t think it would be so bad! I have a decree...

I watched an interesting audio phenomenon today! In our office behind the door there is a "kitchen" table on which the tea bar, etc. At the end of the day, the men gathered together to open a bottle of cognac. I did the service, I spilled, the door opened and the deputy general entered. It enters one step so I see, and the hand with the bottle behind the door. And here was the phenomenon: I did not hear what the castle asked and what the juric answered, but I heard clearly how a drop of cognac crashed from my throat and fell into the glass.

I recently moved to Switzerland, living in an apartment with two Germans. I prepared something for me to eat. There was laziness, and I dumbly baked the potatoes in the microwave. Very surprised looking at my track, then there was about this dialogue:
What is it?
The card.
Did you heat it in the microwave?
No, I have prepared it.
How is it?
Put it in the microwave for 4-5 minutes and it is ready.
Are you cooking before that?
and no.
Do you not cook anymore?
and no.
- OO
He did not tell the poor German that in the microwave you can also cook pasta, and omelette to cook...

When the old Indian was told the reasons for the transition from winter time to summer time, he said:
Only the government can truly believe that by cutting a foot from the top of a blanket and sewing it from the bottom, you can extend the blanket.

here here :

We move to winter time, they said. Sleep an extra hour, they said. How to transfer small children to the winter, who don’t care where the arrows show?

Oh how... And how did poor people live in the past when time was transferred twice a year?