bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119533
 16.10.2015
It should be sealed in this way: "The Adventures of Captain Bljad"

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №119532
 16.10.2015
and two. She is from the buffs, he is an engineer. Magician over the paper.
He: I’ll put a break of the page...
She (seriously): Word is not broken!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №119531
 16.10.2015
Don Carlos: My wife tells me, say, my stomach looks terrible after the birth of my baby... She would have seen my liver after the same event...

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119530
 16.10.2015
Do you get something in the store?
Take the bounty.
What if there is no bounty?
Catch NoBountyException

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119529
 16.10.2015
It was "Tremor of the Earth"-5.

The main character is again Bert Gammer (a dirty guy, wildly damaged by weapons)
Something similar to Luke.

The stones:

On the first screen of my father?

And the Father! As always, everything is in order!

Lukashenko is everywhere!


[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119528
 16.10.2015
Youth is taste, old age is bite.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №119527
 16.10.2015
Good water

I experienced endless apartment repairs and, like a goldfish, was on constant shipments from my workers.
That time they sent me for the cardboard to save the new floor from scratches.
A couple of boxes I asked at a marketplace from a familiar merchant, a few sheets were given at McDonald's, but this was clearly not enough, and to go through the traffic jams to the construction market for cardboard, at the price of oak parquet, well, I didn't want to.
I walk past the supermarket, I look at a large disassembled box of plasma underneath the garbage tank. What is needed. and parked.
At the same time, he decided to free the car "bar" from empty bottles and bottles.
I went to the garbage, in one hand a handful of empty dishes, in the other a banker of Coca-Cola. I’m standing, drinking and turning the box with my feet to see if it’s not too dirty.
Behind me I hear a voice:

"Son, don't drink any ugliness, hold your bowl stronger, I will pour you good water.

I turn around, I see an old woman of eighty years, stretches out a small plastic bottle and begins to gently pour water out of it into my bowl.
From surprise, I did not even rush, but stood like under hypnosis and obediently continued to hold the bowl.
And here to me came the whole picture of what was happening, I saw myself from the side: dinner, coldryga, Moscow sky splashed with wet snow, next to the "waste" stands a man dressed in the "killed", a hollow jacket, from which the crutches of synthpone, a beard in cement dust, on the legs of the ketas in gray paint, and on the head of a baseball with almost a cut-off cradle. Collecting cartons and "untouched banks from washing"
I said, enough is enough, enough is enough. A great thanks.

He even made a swallow.
The old woman replied, “Hello, walk with God. You have your shoes.

With her was a ten-year-old grandson and he alone had to hold a huge cart with foods, while the grandmother fought with "all the bombs." The boy shouted impatiently:
Leave it, I barely hold it.

The old lady stumbled with her grandson, and they slowly turned their chariot towards the subway.
A minute later, an unexpected voice came from the car:

- Grandma, you drank me with good water, thank you again for that, now let’s at least bring you home.

The grandmother had such a frightened face, as if she accidentally scattered a dinosaur egg, and then a ten-meter-long mommy was drawn.

After long negotiations, they still climbed up to me on the back seat, with a cart. The grandson spoke with an enthusiastic whisper:
Oh yeah you! Look at the speed! We will be home in a few seconds and even without any metro! I’ve never been to Lexus before, and you?

And the grandmother replied:

You see how it happens in life, if you help the one who is weaker than you, then you look, and the one who is stronger will help you.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №119526
 16.10.2015
Why did the Islamists declare war on America just now, even though the United States has been bombing them for a year? "Because before the Russian air strikes they did not suspect that the US was fighting with them.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119525
 16.10.2015
Tagged with: production! A clothes hood if you need it, you can hang it.
I am pregnant, I need it.
Let’s take it 😉
Tagged: fucking
Tagged: ohh
It is Android 😉
Art of O_O
You, Vitaly, if anything, then say it. Don’t hold it in you.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119524
 16.10.2015
xxx: I still remember, in your yard was constantly wandered by a bully-mixed grandmother, who was talking to herself all the time, she has not been cured yet? Fifteen years have passed and she is probably already dead.
YYU: No, he’s still talking the same way, but now he’s constantly holding his fist at his ear. Mimicry, in a word. If before she seemed to be talking to an invisible woman, now she has an invisible phone.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119523
 16.10.2015
What only we do not get on the job =D "The main quality of the penis is politeness. I must stand up when I see a lady, so that the lady has something to sit on!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119522
 16.10.2015
Q: What is your hobby?
See also: Hengzhou Sometimes I make money on order and cash.)
XH: O_O
Could you "handmade"?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №119521
 16.10.2015
XXX is a sad story. Two days the boss demanded Mashenka to work, and on the third day she admitted that she had been fired by his order for a week.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №119520
 16.10.2015
The Root:
I am planning to renovate my kitchen knives collection.
Everyone is invited to have something to say.

In two weeks...

The F_Pastorelli
...the term "deep cooling" does not mean liquid nitrogen - I can't imagine what happens with the structure of steel after martensite...

The Bookworm:
The typical size of martensite structures can depend on the cooling speed, and therefore the properties of the clink.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №119519
 16.10.2015
Wife shakes gives a red pill-capsule (seemingly cold) I joke - "what, it's time for the matrix?" she: "Nuddy, go." I squeeze, then comes - supermarket "The Matrix" near the house...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119518
 16.10.2015
Collega 1 (uncle two meters tall and one century weight) returns from the boss sitting in the neighboring body and reports:

There is a very strong wind!

Approaches to colleague 2 (a small fragile girl half a meter lower and 2.5 times lighter) and continues:

You better not go out, it will take you away!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119517
 16.10.2015
xxxh: I did a small change yesterday, or more precisely scratched the table and the shelf. I found that a good whiskey was covered with dust. I have not felt such a flood of pride for a long time.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119516
 16.10.2015
I understand why my state is afraid of Twitter. In Chinese, 140 characters are enough to seduce a girl and to write the Constitution.

Ay Wavey

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №119515
 16.10.2015
The debt of 18312 to introduce and marry the debt of 18561, the organization of wedding ceremonies will be entrusted to the debt of 18567. So to say, fseh teterovs with one shot :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №119514
 16.10.2015
Sberbank faithful to myself)) today I stood in line for the billboards on the electronic row))

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