bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №91625
 25.12.2013
Sanju said that his leg was cut and no antibiotics were prescribed. He is: 
Do you love me? 
and yes. 
and strong? 
and yes. 
Will you do something for me? 
and yes. The Coffee? 
and no. Just sit down and watch the telecast. 

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91624
 25.12.2013
From Habr:
XX: Scientists, slow down, so I want to live longer.
Scientists, add gas, so you want to live to technological singularity
zzz: or at least to a significant leap in life extension.
yyy: which will allow us to live to technological singularity.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91623
 25.12.2013
For the sake of attention, my cat is ready to suck ten times more than it drinks. Don’t ask him how he does it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91622
 25.12.2013
The boss had no access, and he had to urgently buy rail tickets in his personal office from his card. He sent me a log / pair to his office and card details. 30 minutes to get in! Called 5 times - he offered different options - do not fit!
Come on, turn on my computer.
I: And I understood, you will automatically enter the office with a saved password...
SH: It’s just bad passwords keep, and advanced guys don’t. In short, on the desktop there is a word file "passwords" and there somewhere in the middle of the page there is a password on the desktop.
After half an hour, I bought the tickets.
I have to pay tribute to the boss, the PIN codes on the bank cards were securely hidden - a white font on a white background :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91621
 25.12.2013
Sometimes you get justice, and then you don’t know what to do: to rejoice or to be saved.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №91620
 25.12.2013
From an interview with Kosti Zhu magazine Story, close to the text:
“I knew English very poorly. Before the match, the coach told me that I needed to win the first round, and I realized that I needed to win the first round. He knocked off the opponent at the beginning of the battle.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №91619
 25.12.2013
The man was arrested for illegal forest harvesting and sentenced to 5 years of legal forest harvesting.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №91618
 25.12.2013
Conversations with my mom (a psychologist with 30 years of experience) remind me of testifying in court: anything you say can be used against you.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №91617
 25.12.2013
to this:

This is:

I am not a guilty girl ?

– – – – –

The Roma Grandmother
_________________________________________________________
I, when I was very young, loved the rom-baby, but forgot this difficult name, so loudly and crying, I asked to buy me a drunk woman. I bought it, but I didn’t buy it.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91616
 25.12.2013
I was 16 years in school!!! various works by Evgeny Onegin for herself and all friends, for each special, taking into account her style, vocabulary and typical mistakes.
In college, she was entertained with jokes, sending letters from someone else's name, and never burned herself. And now on the Internet I can easily distinguish who writes: a grammar-nazi, just an educated attentive person, just an inattentive, a schoolboy, an uneducated adult, a gastarbayter or a foreigner-European. A separate category is people with amnesia, dyslexia, congenital deafness. They rarely meet...

Oh my God, what a boring youth... Didn’t you have anything else to do? : / /

Well, you know, practical styling is much more interesting than tossing with a hump or a keyboard with your fingers.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №91615
 25.12.2013
Your design is shit.
This is shit design.
So not bad.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №91614
 25.12.2013
See also: PI...YES! Give the rainbow back to the children!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №91613
 25.12.2013
My father has a ringtone on the phone on all the numbers except my one - on me he has "Houston, you have a problem"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №91612
 25.12.2013
The Legal Forum:
XXX: Hello, this is the case! gave a friend the car to drive, he broke it and does not want to pay for repairs, what to do?
Stop being friends with him, but it won’t help.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №91611
 25.12.2013
I watched the show near the Tax Inspectorate. From a fairly fresh outsider come out a boy + girl, both manned and cared for, he speaks loudly enough on the mobile tax from the purchase of some house or apartment - not very clear, more a game for the public. Hidden in the building. The "volga" of the wool-filled year of issue is rolled, the appearance is the car of the chairman of the colloquium, in which the roads were not heard. There are two organisms out, as in the anecdote - "I wrap up to 42 hands", that is, two meters in height, a centner at least in each, 40-45 years. Motherly discuss that with such transportation can not take a tax, pay extra. They hide in the same door. Half an hour later they leave Skopje. The boy clings to some detail of the barge and begins to break out that "such miserables he would punish with his hands." Uncle looks at him. by Prastal. Fuck it down. The older one takes the keys and sits in the car. The second slowly, without taking his eyes away, breaks the passenger mirror and gives it to the boy. Volga is leaving. The girl with the words "yes, you have a real man" goes to the bus stop. There was no curtain, no odmin, no cat, no one under the table. It just happens sometimes ;)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №91610
 25.12.2013
Spam has arrived today.
I got married to a bearded programmer with the theme "5 Reasons Why You're Not Married"

No, no, no, the first reason I guess...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №91609
 25.12.2013
and Nanny. Growing up is when you avoid fighting not with the older ones, but with the younger ones.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91608
 25.12.2013
The xxx:
The first day I felt I was sick.
The second was weakness.
The third cold.
The Fourth Cough
The fifth cold.
I recovered at 6.

YYYY :
And on the seventh watched what happened, decided that it was good and rested?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №91607
 25.12.2013
CherryJB: and in our hospital in the *** department on NG it is customary to dress the oldest and bearded grandfather-patient in the costume of Santa Claus and those who were unable to write out the 31st home, he walks through the department and distributes to everyone tablets of beautiful rosettes!))

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №91606
 25.12.2013
Before yesterday, I was overtaken by the Russian Post machine at an enormous speed and my faith in it was resurrected.
Yyy: They went for lunch.

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