Whoever stood up first should feed the cat.

The words of a friend.

How to behave in case of fire.

In any extreme situation, including fire, the main thing is not to panic.

In the early 1970s, I was still in school, we lived in the ninth floor. There were four apartments on each staircase. On our, besides us, in two apartments lived old women, who rarely visited home, and another family: dad, mom, daughter, who was a few years younger than me, and a little dog. What my mother was doing - I don't remember, and my dad was a marine geologist, engaged in marine oil exploration.

On the upper floor lived a man who usually went out to smoke on the staircase and threw cigarettes down to our floor. It could not end well, and it did not end.

That day, my dad and I took my grandmother to the clinic and my mother stayed at home. When we returned, the women who lived on our staircase cage tried to wash off the walls.

The neighbor from above threw a thinning straw down, and from it the dermatine covering of the door of our neighbor-geologist burned. The fact of the accidental fire was never proven, although firefighters found the hose, and no one smoked on our staircase cage. My mother was about to go out to throw the garbage and before opening the door, she looked in her eyes. Seeing the fire, she panicked, for some reason went to the bathroom, closed the water, and then ran to call the firefighters. In the same state of panic, she first went to the ambulance. The ambulance told her which number to call, and she called the fire department. By this point, she was already so enchanted that she and the address could not say, but the operator, having asked a couple of suggestive questions, understood where she was calling, and said that they had already left.

And they left because the firefighters had already called the neighbor-geologist. With that sixth sense, he realized that their door was burning, looked in the eye, convinced himself of the correctness of his arguments and organized everyone. The woman told her not to open the entrance door in any case, otherwise the passageway would pull fire into the apartment. Instead, he told his wife to water the door from the inside. The daughter told her to take the bathtub on her hands and move on to the neighboring balcony. In our houses there was one balcony for two apartments with different entrances, separated by a small partition. He himself took the phone. He first called the firefighters, then called the neighbors from below. But he did not start screaming about the fire, but first apologized for the call at the untimely time, asked how they were doing and only then said: by the way, we are burning, come to extinguish us, and gave instructions how to do it.

By the time the firefighters arrived, the fire had already ended. Firefighters only broke the door of the missing retirees, as it crumbled, drafted a protocol and left.

This "main thing without panic" applies not only to fire.

I have no loans. Therefore, for me, the word "collector" is just a big tube with shit.

We also do not drink and do not advise anyone, but to distinguish - it is always easy for us, the sister opened a bowl of condensation and pierced her palm, fainted from shock, her husband came, saw the blood and wife in it, called the police, an ambulance, and he ran down to meet them, fell on the stairs, broke his head, lost consciousness, the ambulance arrived quickly, all are alive and relatively healthy. Panic does not lead to good.

I recently bought a new swimsuit, which periodically began to "feed" at the exit of the store. I searched everything, no magnetic tape, nothing was found. I went and searched a couple of times. Today, I’ve been back in “Lent” once again. I explained my problem to the cashier, she touched my jacket and, in the hood under her fur, finally found the source of my food – a plastic magnet.



Well be inclined. - said the seller and pulled me under the shelf, where she had a device for detoxification.



I bowed, I was "thrown", but most of all in this situation I was delighted by the commentary of one grandmother, who repeated in turn: yes, punish, punish her.

Not everyone has a second half. Someone consciously goes to loneliness, choosing comfort. Someone has been searching for a long time. I am option 2. Since the moment I started living alone I constantly go on all sorts of dates, I sit on dating sites. Do not think that the pervert is what. I just feel more comfortable. Not everyone has the courage to approach a girl on the street. The girls came on different dates. Mostly adequate and pretty sympathetic. There were no more than one or two dates. There were interesting interlocutors. The wildest case is associated with a representative of the so-called body positive women’s community.

The correspondence initially strained me a little, because the girl did not have a photo in the questionnaire. But attracted her confidence in correspondence, and then by phone. The date and place of the meeting were set and I began to prepare.

Let’s go right away to avoid the questions “What didn’t you run away right away when you saw her?” “” This is so. I always come early and wait for a girl. Running away is not very polite.

A little late, my white-skinned, snow-sweetened little girl stumbled into the cafe, turning her head in search of me. Seeing the victim, the girl with shortness of breath landed on the couch, barely fit in the narrow gap between the table and the couch. I normally treat people with excess weight. I have had dates with full girls before. Many were very cute and fun, though with a bunch of complexes. There was another case here.

Stretching her hand, the girl presented herself:

and Violet. It is ?

by Olloš. 0 0 0

The evening promised to be interesting. I had come to mind for a long time from her small sizes and sincere shit. After all, in the questionnaire, the girl indicated that the figure was “normal/standard”.

During the conversation, the girl said with special pride that she adheres to the ideas of the body-positive. And it also turned out that she has extensive knowledge in the fields of medicine, biology, geometry, psychology, etc. So, for example, I learned that:

A woman a priori should have a sufficient layer of fat to heat the child in the cold (this type of nature so willed);

Bone girls are not able to give birth to a healthy child, because there is something there again nature and genetics;

Fat is a more useful source of energy. The type is even a diet, the correctness of which has been proven in some Harvard there;

It has long been said that men preferred fat women. This is even attested by statues of antiquity and paintings of the era there something. And the type of sculptors and artists specifically depicted women slightly less fat in favor of perverse - kings. This is also typically proven by experts in some of the Louvre.

Here is. And all this is very certain and with reference to some supposedly existing sources.

At the same time, on the question about the correct proportions of the actual man was given an affirmative answer "Strong, stretched, athletic. Not on asteroids. They do not have letters. Sports and housing.” Not me at all. =) is

At my glance, she quickly wondered why:

"Nature is so arranged that the male predator and the whole sacrifice is carried into the cave to the female and the young, and he himself extracted food separately. All the stories about what the leader ate first are patriarchal tales.

Ancient statues confirm that the best men were Apollo-like. Only the letters were specially shortened so as not to be distracted from the statue.

And again nature. Look at a pair of fat man and body-positive woman (just so she said). They do not match proportions. Type nature also has geometric bases and only "big and small" will coincide (well you understand who is big and who is small, right? ) is



That evening I was practically silent listening to an interesting lecture from my interlocutor. In fact, it was more like an excuse for one’s own weakness, inability to fight with one’s illnesses, etc.

Per in 2018 the dates are over. =) is

People can understand why they are in favor of raising the retirement age.

There was a heavy pressure at the station yesterday morning. A dense flow of people slowly advanced towards the stairs from the platform. By the edge of the eye I notice that on the side of this stream a woman with a wheelchair is trying to adjust, by her location it is clear that the elevator is broken from the platform. In the dam, it is not noticed, and it is not let into the stream. I’m preparing to add it to myself when I add it. Then I see some idiot with a red rod, who is trying to descend against the stream on the platform, rushing at the young man, something in the spirit of "what shit you are here on my way." The guy humbly waits for the redheaded idiot to be released, and he will bypass him. This red fool doesn’t know that the guy is disabled. And I know how I know about half of this herd, because I see them every morning.

My aunt with the wheelchair helped me. The disabled suffered, before him there were 5 parsecs through the crowd, I could not help him. But I remembered this.

I have been standing for a long time at a crossroads with circular traffic. I have been there for a long time and unsuccessfully. In the flow of cars, in the window that appears, you have to quickly climb in to jump through. And I can't - a crossroads on the road, and I have a large child seat with a child in the back. In any case, I will not quickly break into the hill. I am confused and wondering what to do. And suddenly a man goes out on the ring, slowly and carefully brakes all the flow on the road, stops - and shows me with gestures: "Come through, my mother."

There is such a "Pass it on" movement, such as "Transmit to another"... the essence is that by doing a good deed, you start a whole series of actions. You smiled at someone, he smiled at someone else, and so on. Likewise with good deeds, small, everyday. Here, when I see a woman with a wheelchair, I pass on the good deed of that man at the crossroads with circular movement.

I was at the parental meeting. You have patriotism three, and the Word of God has abandoned at all! Did you want to go to Baumanka after ninth grade?

My mom once told me that boys grow up and have a broken voice at the age of 13.

I look forward to my thirteen. That day has come. I am 13. I am proud to live, thinking that my voice was broken and I was upset. A real man.

And here, somehow, I needed to call my mother’s “home” phone to work. I had only three numbers in my head (mama’s work, grandmother’s work, dad’s work) that I was constantly confusing.

I call my mom to work, they raise the phone and I go "and Lily can?“”

In response, I get a response from the grandmother who destroyed my thirteen-year-old man: “Girl, you’ve got the wrong number.”

I meet a very untouched friend.

I ask :

Do you let go of your beard?

Reply to:

Well yes. I decided to give my wife a birthday present.

I ask :

Does she like bearded men?

Reply to:

On the contrary, he cannot endure. On her birthday, I’ll be fighting.

Dirty money in the envelope.

One day, the rector of the Leningrad State University, a famous geometer, Professor Alexander Danilovich Alexanderov, was asked to make a statement on the table: "Please accept me in the university...".
In response, he imposed a resolution: “Attack.”

The forest was shrinking rapidly, but the trees continued to vote for the tail because its pen was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

My mother told me a case from her life (she is a lawyer with me), then with her words:



We just finished the institute, all distributed by places, the first time after the release we gather on the birthday of the group. We sit at her house at the table, drink tea, and talk about who has any interesting incidents in practice, murders, there, theft and the like. And then the culprit of the celebration does not stand and says: "What are you all murder and murder, I am as if not on my birthday, but at the production meeting! Let’s talk about something else, about love, for example.” One of the guests replied, “Oh, surely, oh love! I’ve had a rape here.”

Russia's Geography News: From Siberia to the Far East, Buryatia and the Trans-Baikal Territory were expelled!

Upon returning from the shale, I felt a stall in my mouth. Unfortunately, the chewing is over. He entered the first food store and threw it into the box. He was in a hurry, angry. And to me in response:
Good night!
I looked at the saleswoman, looked around, and fell into a completely different world. Probably even red. A beautiful girl stands behind the counter, her eyes are alive. There is no one around, so the revenue is not very much. She does not even have a chair. They are waiting for buyers in a dark room. God knows how long he will wait. I would be crazy in ten minutes. She also wishes me a good evening. To the hasty fool who did not even bother to look at her. But one look — hell, if I were younger and free, I would definitely try to remove this girl. He would postpone all affairs, entertain her with fun conversations until the end of the shift, and then...

But enough of them later. He said to her completely foolishly, but honestly and with feelings:
Girl, you are very beautiful. I’m married, I just say. Good evening!

You would see it bloom!

When you were young, what could you buy for $100?
Ten years, a granddaughter, ten years in prison.

Once a rat came out of the bathroom. Fortunately, I wasn’t there at that moment. I went in, saw, immediately closed the door to the bathroom, ran after the cat (ah, apparently I had a wrenched thought in my head to throw the cat there and lock it until it solves the problem). Fortunately (for the cat, whose cheeked face was clear that he had just slept quietly and was not ready for such a hernia), when I returned, the rat was already fucking off the same way it got off. I closed the toilet for a while. I even thought of pressing the cover of the curtains, but I was afraid that it would just break the cover to the harams. The rat didn’t come in anymore, but now I always push my penis a little further and look inside the toilet when I sit on it, although many years have passed since that.

They divide equally only when they can’t take everything.