The words of relatives.
One day, they missed a vase. After a long search, the parents came to the conclusion that her little son was somewhere.
He went to his son and asked if he had done anything with the vase. The son denied everything. Then I decided to go to the trick.
"Sasha, if you admit what you did with the vase, I will give you 3 rubles," said the mother (the case was in the USSR, and 3 rubles at the time, as far as I understand, was a considerable amount for the child).
“I broke the vase,” Sasha confessed.
Where are you doing the pieces?
"I took the sink and the wreath, gathered them and threw them out so that you and Daddy would not know.
The mother praised the son for the honest confession and handed the promised 3 rubles.
A few days later, a neighbor brought the vase. She borrowed it for something, and her mother simply forgot about it.

The African leaders heartily thanked Vladimir Vladimirovich for removing the $20 billion debt.
“We should raise the retirement age,” he said.

I told a story at work.

The case was in the 90s, at the height of popularity of viewers and VHS cassettes. The venue is the office. One of the employees calls the son of pre-school age:

and Mom! Could Cole come to visit me?

Maybe, let him go in.

Can we take a look at the multicolors?

Look at it if you’re not tired of the same thing.

- And I found a cassette on the closet, "Snow White" is written, I have not seen this cartoon yet.

The mother changes sharply in the face and, confused in words and valuable instructions, shares in the tube: "Don't touch the cassette, it's broken! View does not work! Don’t go into a big room!” He throws the phone on the lever and runs home from a low start without even changing clothes.

Films for adults based on fairy tales.

I don’t even remember what I dreamed. But he was awakened in the middle of the night by a vigilant wife with a question in her forehead: "What is Olya?"

What kind of olive?

I wanted to ask you, what kind of olive is this?! to

What...what woke me up?

In a dream, you called Olya. Their mistress? Fuck her? What was silent? Go and talk!

Did I call in my dream?

In a dream!! to

I... Well then okay...

How is it okay? Have you turned away from me?

In my dreams I can do anything. To fuck, to fuck. So you sleep too.

Today in a dream sought verbally, but rather persistently some girl (well you know, sometimes in a dream there are completely fictional characters).

She chose to refuse me and immediately jump out of the window.

I was not even surprised.

The hypertensive crisis of Elena Malysheva undermined people’s faith in a healthy lifestyle.

In the garages.
This happened in Murmansk 15 years ago.
My acquaintance worked on a foreign ship and went off to the shore with a foreign colleague who had a shipwreck. Their plane was in the evening and they walked around the city all day long.
The attention of the foreigner was attracted by the garage cooperative. The acquaintance explained that this is a place where cars are stored and repaired, as well as "take a party".
The foreigner became curious how it could be drilled in the midst of mechanisms and oil, they entered one of the open boxes... And the acquaintance broke out of pride.
It was a perfectly sliced garage lined with a canvas. On the wall were painted portraits of Dostoevsky and Tsoi.
Inside was a bearded owner and with a thoughtful look drank beer and listened to the music of Tchaikovsky from the loudspeakers of the "Volga" standing there.

It seems to me alone that when ministers and deputies tell us on television about how our lives are improving, there is not enough laughter?

When I was in college, I liked one student. I wanted to invite her to a cafe, but there was hardly any money at the time. He walked around the universe until he noticed the chef who was in charge of the dining room. He was 40-45 years old, his wife and three children. We were known before. After hearing the reason why I was walking so acidic, he told me to come with her to the universe at 10 p.m. when all the students were out. In the courtyard of the university there was a small square with trees and tables.

We met in the evening and I offered to walk to the universe. The guard was familiar with me, so he missed us.

When we entered the square, one of the tables was already covered. The first, the second, salad etc. The night, empty universe, we sat alone, ate, drank tea and talked. Per she thought at the time, the hell, how he got it.

The chef sometimes approached us like dear guests, tossed tea, asked if we would like a dessert.

At that moment I was happy. Now, 12 years later, I remember this man, and I realize how huge his heart was.

A little more and distinguish Camedi Club from the Curved Mirror will be possible only by the logo of the channel.

© by

Grandma’s sister went to the city by bus. She is small in height and round like a ball. She did her business and stopped. In the pocket were the last 2 hryvnia for the trip. Elijah got into the guard. It is time to pay. One in the pocket is empty, the other is empty. No, he thought he was right. With the hand there is no money. He thinks, “Well, everyone, you’ll have to walk for an hour to the village...” Next to the man:
What are you looking for?
I lost the money...
and he:
Look in your pocket!

1st Russia repairs more than $20 billion in debt to African countries
2nd In order to restore the indexation of pensions for working pensioners in 2020 we will need 368 billion rubles. This is a big money, and we don’t have such money now,” said the head of the Pension Fund.

Per I missed something between these news?

The first sign of large fraud is small fonts in documents.

In Nizhny Novgorod there is a museum of art of the USSR. I had such a dialogue.
This is a private museum of our low-city businessman. He collected paintings in Soviet times.
In Soviet times he was not a businessman.
Well close to. He was the manager of the food trustees.

Some recent surveys:
Do you trust the police and the courts?
No is
Your attitude towards the death penalty?
- for

I live in Zimbabwe. I had to visit one of the local reserves a day ago. In it lives a 50-year-old elephant named Elephant (in the language of the Shaun), apparently not to be confused. She doesn’t want to justify her spoken name. Her parents died when she was a little girl and she was the only elephant in the reserve. She lived with a herd of buffaloes. For more than 40 years, she has played with these cows, mastered the buffalo habits and sounds, and even became the matriarch of this herd. For this, according to staff estimates, she had to drown 14 bulls to death, who recklessly tried to challenge her leadership in the group. Now he is running quietly, there are no more wanting people. She has no complaints to people. It is said that one bull she fell when he severely injured the approached worker of the reserve and thought it was to bite him finally, thereby saving the miserable life. Maybe it is for tourists.



Over time, other elephants appeared in the park, but the elephant does not want to communicate with them, does not understand the elephant, pulls it to his native buffaloes. Officers say she considers herself a buffalo. Here is such a curious example of unusual self-identification from the animal world for 40 years before it became the mainstream in humans.

I go out for lunch from work, fit the typical (outside) Gypsies - golden teeth, curly, costume with glitters. Get out before this from a nearby car - an old merce, polished to shine.

Sorry to bother, are you local?

I : Yes.

He: I am from Ukraine, from Donbass. Buy a set, I will give it cheaply, for a thousand all.

I: No, thank you

I go.

In the evening I sit in the car at the parking lot, too, not far from work.

He is suitable.

Sorry to bother, are you local?

I: No, I am from Ukraine, from Donbass.



I haven’t seen such a look for a long time ?

I went to the barber a day ago and when the girl started cutting my neck, she suddenly wept and said, "How much hair you have on your neck."

I got a little uncomfortable, because the hairy neck, well...it’s strenuous. I decided to turn her attention to something else and said, “You haven’t seen my ass yet.”

The girl walked away and looked at me seriously. Probably the joke did not fit her or caused some disgust. Seconds later, she said again:

Did you take the money with you? I’m not going to cut my ass for five hundred.

I live in Germany. I was taken with my colleagues yesterday for work to a large (more than 30,000 seats) football stadium in a neighboring town, and the head of the local IT department arranged for us a tour of the territory. It was quite interesting; I had no idea how technically complex a modern stadium was. In the process, we were shown a room locked in three locks with a fax machine – and told a surreal story.



The stadium in matches must comply with the general rules established by the sports administration. According to its requirements, immediately before the match, the representatives of the competing teams must sign a protocol that all the players are in place, the teams are ready for the game, there are no problems and so on. The protocol, according to the same requirements, is sent to the administration exclusively by fax. If the fax is not sent for any reason, the match cannot start. You have full tribunes of fans. Therefore, on the stadium, equipped with state-of-the-art technology, where wireless communication and IP-telephony are everywhere, there is an ancient fax requested from an independent power source, and a direct copper pair from the telephone station is laid to it. At the other end of the building is another one, for the case.



On my question “why not scan the protocol and download the e-mail” I was explained that the sports administration is extremely conservative and does not like to change the rules established in the past century.

After the four-day week, it remains only to offer a three-week month.