The third day I was alone with the cat. You know, a creature that only eats and sleeps is a company. The cat is boring.

xxx: A friend told that his ex-wife with moral principles typically does not change in the relationship, on the second date when they were at his house and everything was already going to sex, straight on the bed they were, she went to the bathroom and minutes after 5-7 returned and they started to fuck, one then and didn't give any importance, well apparently what hygienic procedures she did or what, and only after 5 years she told him why she went there, at this point she still had a guy to whom she called to say that they are separating, literally a minute before jumping on a new guy)) but technically yes, in the relationship she did not change

At the age of 18-19 in our company there was a girl, so to say, "easy behavior". We all knew about it, her friends and I. My boys and I even determined the order. The case is young. So I got the right to the first “Night.” In general, I invited her to myself, a sher-shevel, kisses, hugs began. Suddenly she stops and seriously says, “I’m not a prostitute, I only sleep with my boyfriend!” From surprise, I even stunned, but she immediately said, “Will you be my boyfriend?” What I still have to answer, 18 years, the "gun" is lifted. Of course, I agree with everything.



We did what we gathered for and she left. The next day, my friend came to her. She calls me and honestly says, “Sasha offered me to meet here, let’s break up? “” I generously give good to Divorce. Everyone is happy, the girl followed the principles, we followed the order.

Xxx: I went to the army in a plateau on a sidewalk. I was down, and on the upper shelf the grandmother was ugly. She said nothing to me, not even hinting how it was difficult for my grandmother to climb up, she went to the conductor, and she went to the lieutenant who brought us up. And all three came to me with almost a ride to say I gave up my grandmother's lower regiment. I was a little distracted by the situation, but reluctantly agreed, the more the lieutenant insisted a little. Since one hernia lower sidewear is not a gift too, especially in the compartment next to the door to the tampon (toilet there). Well, in fact, in the evening, someone of the passengers was drunk with wine, he became ill and he in an attempt to bring to the toilet covered his mouth with his hand and on the way the pressure exceeded and he bled all the place and her including. I’ve never been so happy with the upper side of the toilet.

Once in Sweden, such a case happened (it was told in a reality show on television). One man told him why his conscience tormented him:

When I was a kid, my friend and I decided to run a hamster on a parachute from the balcony of a high-rise house. We smashed the basket, parachuted, put hammer in the basket and let go. But the unexpected happened. The wind picked up our parachute and took it somewhere far away. I still cannot forget that. How could I have done so...? Suddenly there was a phone call in the studio. The caller asked:

Did it happen in that year? The man replied affirmatively.

When was the summer holiday in Stockholm?

“Yes, yes,” the man hurried.

I know what happened to your hammer.

What happened to him?” I could not believe the surprise guest.

“My daughter asked for a hammer for a long time,” the woman continued. I told her once, don’t even ask. We will have hamsters only if God Himself gives you them. The little girl raised her hands to heaven and said:

God, give me a hammer! We went to the city for a party. Suddenly my daughter says:

“Mom, I think God has answered the prayer! Look at it!” And right from the sky on the parachute, a hamster in a basket fell into her hands.

Women, remember: no gloss for the lips will ever compare in effect to the gloss of the eyes!

I have a friend. Since childhood, I counted every penny, hid everything and gave it to no one. The age did not change him. I tolerated this disadvantage, nobody was perfect, but he was still fun and kind. I went to the hospital and the car crashed. My parents are in another country, can’t come, I don’t have money, I call him. In an hour he was already with me, all my procedures were paid, and there were 200 thousand! After spending the whole day with me, he left with the words, “To you on your birthday.” I hadn’t even eaten sweets before.

Imagine that we have no corruption.
Has corruption already been overthrown?! to

Not when the past is with us, but when it is ahead of us.

She carried a cat in the plane in the cabin, while she fell asleep, he escaped. All the passengers are asleep, I walk through the cabin, quietly whisper, so as not to wake anyone up and get what the cat has released. The stewardess approaches and says:
“Don’t worry, he’s with the pilots, they’ll bring him back closer to landing, we’ve fed him. and rest.

The warning of the Ministry of Health on a pack of cigarettes "Smoking leads to impotence" is ineffective. “Impotence leads to smoking.”

I spoke to my girlfriend recently and she said:

I don’t understand why guys love porn so much. What’s so interesting about watching two people have sex?

I answered:

Two of them??? The people! → So, and I’t watch.

I come somehow to arrange in one office, which is a regional department of a large company.



Interviews a young man who suits me as sons.



Given my age, I decided to start off.



He begins to ask dumb questions and tests for first-class students. And likewise, all kinds of tricks like getting up from a chair without bending your legs under it and not bending your body, catching a bill flying between your fingers, etc.

In short, all those tricks that the students of 9th grade who know physics at least a little bit.



I looked at the case, and I say.



Can you do these tests yourself?



- What a family, I am the head of the department, call me Ivan Ivanovich.



“Ivan Ivanovich, you will be when you are my boss.

I repeat again. Can you do it yourself?



Of course, I work here, so I have passed all these tests.



I doubt, because these tests cannot be performed because of the laws of physics.



When I realize that I no longer have any light here, I begin to troll it.



Now let me introduce myself. Sergey Semenovich I work in your main Moscow campaign "secret buyer". I travel through regional representative offices and check their work under the guise of a visitor or candidate for employees.



And if you do not now complete all the tests that were required of me, you will be fired for incompetence.

(I would like to remind you that it is not possible to perform them physically.)



That was the look. I have seen such horror in my eyes only once before.



Having said that I’m coming tomorrow and he has the whole night to train, I dropped out of there.

I think it was the longest night in his life.

Xxx by Metro. Hour of Pick. There is not yet an old man sitting on the edge. On the contrary - a couple of students or just young office dentists.

A struggling aunt. She looked at the man:

The young man! Give up the lady!

Madam, are you not an officer? - Just moved forward his stick, hinting that he can't stand, - take off the young man.

They’re going to be foolish, and you’re intelligent.

The smoked man:

Are you serious about not sending me? Go go you fuck!

Pure theoretically, if a person is perfectly easy to spend money, it means that he has no problems with earning money. But the theory is a false fool!

Here the entire internet is friendly to Keanu Reeves, who talked kindly with the boy at the airport. Oh, the star has descended to a simple man. I remembered this.

Lenka, my wife, went to the nursery for our younger daughter, and I stayed at home with the older one. The daughter for the first time in her two-year life so long separated from her mother, crying all day, and in the evening began to suffocate. We called an ambulance, which did not arrive for an endless time. In generally accepted units, this infinity was probably half an hour or less, but when a two-year-old child is about to sink on your arms, time flows differently.

I went out with my daughter to the yard, sat on the bench at the playground before entering. I thought that from here I would see an ambulance sooner, and the daughter would be easier in the fresh air. She really stopped crying, but still breathed hard, with terrible whispers. Then I heard a very familiar voice. I raised my head and saw Tatiana Drubich.

Now, not everyone remembers this actress, she is almost not filmed. But then there was the peak of her popularity, just released "Ass" and "Ten Negroes". And for me it was... how to explain it? Well, you know how those who at the age of 13-14 watched "Guest from the future", fancy Natasha Guseva? And on my 13-14 came "One Hundred Days After Childhood" with a fourteen-year-old Drubich. Without a doubt, the most beautiful girl of Soviet cinema, it was she I imagined in my teens. And here she stands before me in the flesh and asks how Lena is doing, has she already given birth or not yet.

I knew from my wife that Drubich was taking her daughter to a kindergarten nearby and sometimes walking with her after the kindergarten on our site. But she saw me for the first time – that is, not only distinguished Lenka among other moms and remembered that she was about to give birth, but also recognized the daughter who sat stuck in my chest, wrapped in a blanket. It’s Keanu Reeves’s level plus 10, but it’s just the beginning.

Drubic nodded at her daughter and asked what happened to her. I was upset – what did she, a popular actress, do to our plebey problems? He replied reluctantly:
He has a bad breath and waits for an ambulance.
“Let me look at her,” Drubic said. I am Doctor.

I got a stethoscope from my bag. I did not understand anything. What doctor, why a doctor? He gave her a look at the girl.

– It is asthma, – decided Drubic. But don’t be afraid, the attack is not strong, they don’t die from it. Put her here (she showed), squeeze her chest here and calmly wait for the ambulance. Everything will be fine.

From her confident words I calmed down, the daughter took over my calm and began to breathe smoother. The ambulance soon arrived. It really was asthma. She then accompanied her daughter for 13 years, before we moved to the United States, and went there without a trace. Whether the allergen that caused it remained in our Moscow apartment, whether in general the New York ecology is so much better than Moscow.

Then I read that Tatiana Drubic is really not only an actress, but also a doctor. She graduated from the medical institute, in parallel with the shootings held a reception in the district clinic. Maybe the patients were surprised. Here are the artists we have, where there is Keanu Reeves.

The child of Yandex employees, responding to the lesson, first tells two advertisements.

Xxx: here I can work and a colleague will come to me and ask in 10 minutes what to do. I will say, of course! And then, somewhere in a week, I’ll, for example, sit at dinner and say, Fuck, I forgot! Another month to worry.

In order not to get into history, it has to be well taught.

Criminology is the science of criminals who fail. Those who got caught.
The science that studies the fortunate criminals is called political science.