bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88905
 27.10.2013
by vilgeforce:
It is possible to hit the nails with a hammer, and the meaning? I don’t see any sense in this way of spreading the infection.
by Kyrie:
What’s wrong with hitting your nails with a hammer? I know, now this is not a very popular method, but there is not always a microscope at hand.


[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №88904
 27.10.2013
From working notes:
Our work is great. The head is caring. Health is concerned – it hardens us. Not everyone really wants to shrink. In fact, almost everyone does not want to. Bad to wash with cold water after the change. They are stupid). It is said that the batteries in the dressing rooms are cold. Special clothes, say, do not dry, in autumn and spring people massively go to the hospital. And why do they go away if they pay a penny? It’s a lack of immunity, I think. Immunele should be drunk, or acetyl. They say, not in the pocket - the salary is small. And they themselves eat three times a day, and sometimes soup is cooked on pork soup sets. Some children are still in kindergartens. If you were to eat twice a day, and the children were not taken anywhere - you and the money on the immune system. Other evil languages say that the bosses on fuel in the cottage saves, and the grandmother puts on the pocket. I think this is a gross lie. And that expensive foreign marks they have, so probably bought in long loan. For the prestige. And people simply don’t know, in my opinion, that they live well. It’s a lack of propaganda, I think. I need to watch TV more. The first channel.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88903
 27.10.2013
and we have a cafe "Harchevna" in the city...They work there exclusively "the inhabitants"...At night the craftsmen built and now in the evenings the name of Hachevnia burns in the city

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88902
 27.10.2013
by drevo-z
In a trolleybus, one aunt told another aunt her dream.
I found the final.
"I turned and went to the kitchen, sitting at the battery, back to the window, singing motherly, he is healthy, and in the beard the tulips grow, red! Do you know what red is dreaming about?
Impressed by what has been heard.
Like I didn’t start dreaming of this flower man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88901
 27.10.2013
Singing under the faner should be called the performing duties of the singer.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №88900
 27.10.2013
With joint efforts...
Going home, the cat is running around. At the end of her eyes, I noticed that she had jumped into a baby bed. I turn to her, and the cat in a human voice says to me:
I want to eat!
In a moment I was cold and then I was terrified. Then I realized that the animal village was a talking doll. And it should be so fortunate that of the five phrases she said, this was the case.
I had to feed the petitioner.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №88899
 27.10.2013
I have a classic closet.
1st Nothing to wear.
2nd There is nowhere to hang.
Three It is a pity to throw.
4 is And the special regiment “I suddenly lose weight”.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88898
 27.10.2013
Answer as a man.

Amazing men

Simon: What was my disappointment when I realized half an hour ago that I can't get rid of porn for the second day :(

I am a girl, but I try to understand and understand men. Tell me, please, why watch porn for so long?

Heard knows him. It can exercise endurance and willpower.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88897
 27.10.2013
Anna Glushko, the world champion in powerlifting, married an athlete from the suburb of Moscow Mikhail Sukharev. The young man took his wife's surname and agreed to move to her hometown of Chelyabinsk.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88896
 27.10.2013
Space laser communication with data transmission from the moon at a speed of 625 Mbps:
"Is it faster than a missile loaded with flashes?".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88895
 27.10.2013
xxx: the boss always says so deliciously "the pitcher" - straight all the soul invests
WOW: ahah - every time he says "pisset", somewhere a cat is born

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88894
 27.10.2013
My husband owed the banks 200 thousand rubles with a salary of 30 thousand. I had a serious conversation with him yesterday. He promised that he would start closing the loan with a new receipt.
He got his salary today. I bought a gaming console for 20 thousand rubles!
Shoot
yyy: Blue, really wasted the money, PlayStation 4 is only coming in a month.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88893
 27.10.2013
We sit in the company, somebody drinks, somebody doesn’t.They sit, that is, two hugged hands shoulder to shoulder, one drunk, the other not.Drunk: we are with you like yin and yang – you are sober, and I am drunk...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88892
 27.10.2013
Q: Can we do love?
No, I am evil today. A bad lady on a horse.
You will be from above.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88891
 27.10.2013
From the correspondence (Chel works as an admin):
I sit and think I catch the server and break the salmon on the loft then on the roof and run into the secluded basements. For by me with a wild cry BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE...

You are lying. One note will not work, because nobody has canceled the Doppler effect yet. It was approximately like this: "blaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №88890
 26.10.2013
My daughter is 4 years old, very much wants a pet, but we still resist. Today I asked “Mom, can I have a rabbit when you die?”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88889
 26.10.2013
Books and amins.
It is not a matter of profession, it is a matter of people. If you are an expert in your business, you deserve respect.
I have been engaged in yellow program and small admin for 15 years. During this time, the real accountants met a man ten, well twenty from power. People who are really good at accounting. The majority are not accountants, but operators 1C.
The task most often looks like this:
Make me right.
How is it right?
I don’t know, but it’s wrong now. You’re a programmer and you need to know.
Here it turns out that I am now not only a programmer, but also perfectly understand tax legislation, alcohol declarations, tax accounting of non-state pension funds, etc.
Paying the VAT? It is easy! Calculate the warranty on the stock option on the diesel fuel supply futures is easy! To figure out and calculate the value of three enterprises with complex property rights, mutually owned each other, to calculate dividend payments and taxes from them, including from foreign - I am a programmer, I know this! And I really can. is coming

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88888
 26.10.2013
My acquaintance with the 8 wheel started with the fact that I took it off and put a 7 wheel.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88887
 26.10.2013
I read the quotes, under which a lot of comments, and a request to the administration matured:

Guys, either prohibit moderators from skipping this, or make a comment tape. I have to repeat these quotes...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88886
 26.10.2013
BLZZZ: Real senses are cats. Because this cattle can predict with 100% accuracy where you will go the next moment. Moreover, she will be able to guess which foot you are going to take to jump under her!! to

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