bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104554
 24.10.2014
Do I understand you correctly? On weekends, a retiree who has spent a working week cleansing from 5 to 15 apartments made per week, for 1-2 hours each, and spends from 5 to 30 hours on it, right? And you meant exactly the retiree, and not some biological robot there with increased strength and wear resistance?
......................
Maybe I'm a bit out of the subject, but judging by what balloons the fragile retirees pull and with what force they push in the subway, the retiree and the biorobot with enhanced strength - it's somewhere nearby.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104553
 24.10.2014
of Moscow. Snowmen shot down a private plane.
of Yekaterinburg. The truck hit the liner.

It is a war of machines. People better not interfere.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104552
 24.10.2014
A beautiful story... Only the doors in the gallion open inside... And so – it’s fun.
~ ~ ~
I specifically looked at the requirements for the design of ships... Nifiga, the doors should be opened outside. It is forbidden to lock them. History could well be.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104551
 24.10.2014
Answers

Q: Do you have women on a dating site looking for a sponsor?
WOW: How to say - at least they act honestly, immediately indicating their requests.
ZZZ : No
kkk: "If you want to live, learn to turn". They want to live, and they only know how to turn on...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104550
 24.10.2014
The Kharkiv Forum. D̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s̲s?

Hello guys... here are all the programmers and maybe the one I’m going to tell you about now or his colleagues will read it... and will understand how low he did...

In general, we work for a small salary and for a found employee we get a bonus of $ 500 to $ 1,500. The salary is hardly enough for food. We currently have a huge shortage of JavaScript developers. I managed to find one and call for an interview. It can be seen that a person does not need it especially, but what you will not do to close the desired position...
He scheduled a meeting in a crowded place near the thermometer after work... and when we met he said he was happy but on the condition... generally he offered me... to satisfy him. And the next day I call to clarify the time to go to work and he says you know I changed my mind.
I want to say that it’s ugly... so put a man and how do I live with it now?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104549
 24.10.2014
- Boy, why did you throw a puddle by the urn? What are you taught in the garden?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104548
 24.10.2014
Your mother, go to the forums! People laughed and laughed and laughed. (

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104547
 24.10.2014
N: This morning I discovered the most epic theft in a decade. I can’t stop rubbing yet.
Weather is corrupt, on the street rain and minus, everything is smoothly modeled to asphalt and other surfaces. Hollow ice, in general, and concentrated despair. On the garage hangs a hanging castle, on which an ancient shamanic shelter from freezing is put on the top - a cut plastic bottle.
I come, and she is not. It was found in the neighbor's castle through two garages. Did he stick to the gate a note that he is a fool, now I think to leave him a combat trophy or throw out of value at all?)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104546
 24.10.2014
here
10:58, 22 October 2014
Forbidden to sell in Crimea
Alcohol at night
Selling alcoholic drinks
It is not possible from 10:00 to
23:00 am
The new law will not affect
People who produce
Products with ethylene
Alcohol for Personal
Use without purpose
The sales.
""""""""
Crimean nights from 10 to 23

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104545
 24.10.2014
What is cold? In a month, winter will come.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №104544
 24.10.2014
Instead of a normal solution to the problem, she tries to manipulate through sex.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Also my grandmother!!! A man cannot be punished neither by bed nor by lunch. And both, after all, he will be able to find elsewhere if he is hungry.
On this topic an anecdote: the wife on her husband is offended, they do not talk. After a while, the husband rattles with an offer of intima. Wife: “Okay, just go back, my eyes’t see you.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104543
 24.10.2014
here here :
--------
I slept when I was 30 years old.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Do you play a lotto in a special form? This is a maritime battle.
— — — —
He doesn’t say they’re different women. Per a long relationship.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104542
 24.10.2014
It was very fun to read jokes about a guy with a 14-centimeter penis - exactly before the moment I read that it was necessary to measure from above :-(

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104541
 24.10.2014
I have never seen an advertisement like this.

I need help! At the Vitebsky station next to the rubbish bunch lives the wonderful man Vicenty Palych Zyuzin. The poor homeless man is extremely exhausted, he has both eyelids beaten, deep scars on his legs, a long confused beard and, worst of all, cirrhosis of the liver.

The former hostess put him out on the street, and Vicenty remained alone with a heavy reality. He needs a long course of treatment, the help of psychologists, but not only that... The main thing is attention, affection and care!
____________________________________________
No touch is touching. Barbos and Murziki, who are so trying to accommodate, are victims of circumstances that themselves can not influence the situation and are not guilty that the situation arose. And Palych Zuzin, who swallowed the apartment or licked the drunken "ex-husband", until she didn’t herself swallow the bean and decided not to get rid of it. If he wants to change something, let him take ***U in his hands and beat the social centers. The papers are scary, but they obviously won't fall asleep!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104540
 24.10.2014
“Sasha, what is the name of the emblem in the document I removed? Type of logo
Herb of the Russian Federation

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104539
 24.10.2014
There is such a story with Robert Shelley. I don’t remember what it’s called =(
We live in a terrible time. Whatever science fiction you have not thought of, that science fiction you have not said - this has already been written by Shekley.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104538
 24.10.2014
by JJ:
The girls sit on the bench. Such adults. There’s something behind the back, but the glasses don’t hide. Smoking, smoking and not going home.

Kasper passes by, looks at this bouquet and says in a good way:
Girls, what a big rat you have under the store!

This was a shaker, guys, such a shaker.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104537
 24.10.2014
Kuma about the baptist said: The child had a tooth, he was told to hide it under the pillow, the kind of kindergarten will return home - there the mouse will pull him a gift for the tooth...The mouse drew Lego designer...so he after a few days a healthy tooth pulled out. Speaking was painful and there was a lot of blood, but Lego had already wanted it very much, the whole hour of sleep was shaken.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104536
 24.10.2014
The Antique.

Teacher: Tell me, how could you scare the ancient Greeks?
A terrifying description of monsters.
The Arsenic: PF To scare the ancient Greeks?
"The wine is over!" - "Aaaaaaaaaaa!!and "
"Orgies only twice a week!" - "Aaaaaaaaa!!and "

Waking up philosophers

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №104535
 24.10.2014
...So I, thoroughly offended, took the scissors and cut the openings for the eyes in the curtains)) I stand and look at myself. Well, the child's logic - nothing is moved away, all conditions are fulfilled.)

My mom was constantly upset that I was packing my socks on my knees. Once again, after the moral execution, I left for a short time. He returned joyfully to his mom with the cut holes in these places: "Mom, look! Now the clothes are not dirty!"

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna