bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148474
 25.01.2018
In Moscow will build a new paid road for 50 billion rubles

Is it a day or night rate?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148473
 24.01.2018
The universe. 5 to 9 floors each.
The call:
Congratulations, you have won the free service of plastic windows. How many windows do you have?
You called the university. Come and see... P-P-P

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148472
 24.01.2018
I have the same problem.

Yes, it’s your "pleasant appetite" incredibly angry. You sit in the dining room at work, eat lunch, don't touch anyone, and every person who meets you will surely express this wonderful wish. And you are sitting with your mouth full, and you don’t know how to react to this grumpy “polite” behavior. To one you sneeze, to the other, to the third, like a Chinese swallow. Let them eat normally.

These idiots say hello in the morning. Respond to everyone, hold your hands. They borrowed!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148471
 24.01.2018
by GM. By kind of work I communicate with large, often disadvantaged families. When you ask what you would like – every child said – I want to be alone in the family! "And when you start to divorce about care and mutual help, a mother-in-law... one boy said to me "do not pour. I will find friends who I like. And these – I don’t like them, they rotting and looking, they bite, and I answer, because the elderly?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148470
 24.01.2018
If a person has committed a crime, then everything - should hang a stamp on himself and not dare to turn into "normal" people? How can you live peacefully, if at any moment you can be ticked “Oh, you’re what you’re doing!” without taking into account the fact that all this situation happened ten years ago and that the person really realized, repented and never “dirty” himself again?

Depending on what you were convicted of, my other. If for the fight "wall on the wall" with bodily injury - one thing. If it’s for a fifth shot, it’s another matter. If you have raped somebody on the "list" or in another similar situation... don’t fill that "repented". With such comrades most women and themselves will be warned to stay alone, and all acquaintances will be warned; suddenly you will think again that this one is also self-hostel?! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148469
 24.01.2018
The Grisons

For six years in the cage lived a rat of the Husky breed (that they also have breeds and the name Stubzeno from dogs, that I understand). quite large, if taken in length with the tail, then from the fingers to the elbow about. During the day, I ran around the apartment. The sweetest and smartest creature, responding to the name, resorted. When I tried to hurt, I could not understand the team well. The only thing is to try to squeeze all the edible around the corners.There are no cockroaches left in the house.

That’s what I’m talking about, you’re talking about rats. There are quite home options.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148468
 24.01.2018
XXX is AHA. The predecessor weighed 250 kg, and this aluminum engine was 200, which is 40-50% lighter.
What do you say about this... lol
zzz: In the journal of ariHmetics is not a profile subject! So they can.
TTT: Yes, there were iron kilograms, and this is aluminum!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148467
 24.01.2018
Where without them

>-> and consisting of antimatter.

by el acordeón:

Jews are in the anti-world. Going along the anti-street, turned into the anti-street,
enters the antidote, climbs the anti-staircase, approaches the anti-door,
Calling the anti-call.
Antisemitism opens the door.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148466
 24.01.2018
Pure visually... Well, I react sharply to long straight dark hair and long, thin fingers. If the boy is still thin on the verge of exhaustion, then it is a straight vaaaau. A chest with the edges is mandatory.
At the same time, my girlfriend is pulled from the low and thick, straight like a cloak. And one more - only the clusters of the classic silhouette prefer to press with cubes and pop - nuts.
It’s good that we are all different than you. I’ve never quarrelled about a man. :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148465
 24.01.2018
and Gallor:
The kids are funny. They have mosquitoes. And they are doing nonsense with such a smart face. Like cats, but even better.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №148464
 24.01.2018
and asper:
I came to work where I hadn’t been for a long time, sat at the computer, and he didn’t work! I am outraged and shout:
Why does the computer not work?
The director of the company comes and says:
Talk to the administrator, it’s his problem.
I am the system administrator.
Here is!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148463
 24.01.2018
TomTom: Well, you can understand that manned men and homosexuals are not always the same thing. Here, for example, Prince is manned as I don’t know who, but he lived with his grandmothers all his life. And from the other pole - Lashko with the clutches of yesterday's collective farmer and a strange fox in his mouth.
T44: And there are just piddars. Not maneuverable, not houses, but they park across the exit from the parking lot.
by Sam Pidaras.
TomTom: I could normally say. There was no room in the morning. I will stop now.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148462
 24.01.2018
She goes to a club to find a partner. Who is it?
XXX: The Mystery
Tagged: prostitute
xxx: the first "sh"
Yes, the prostitute
Tagged: prostitute
TTT: Shalawa
xxx: "s"
Tagged: shalawa
TTT: Shalawa
Tagged: shalawa
The correct answer: Chess

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148461
 24.01.2018
During the lessons, the reasons and procedure for using weapons against dogs were discussed in detail.
Separately stipulated that against the owners of the dog in case of aggressive behavior of the latter in the presence of the owner and even with his permission should not be used.
The dark voice from the room: "It’s in vain! It is easier to kill an idiot once than to kill his new dog every time.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148460
 24.01.2018
Ten years ago I had a psychological test. The test was Dutch. I had an increased level of aggression. But the doctor who conducted the testing told me, "Michael, there is nothing to worry about: for Russia, you have a level of aggression within the norm. It’s a test for the Dutch.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148459
 24.01.2018
xxx: My daughter 1.5 years ago asked where she came from.
X: I told her that it was from my life. Where is the stomach from? Dad put a cage there. The child cried and was satisfied with the answer. 1.5 years has passed. The daughter came from the kindergarten and said that not all the children in the group came from my mother’s belly. Here, for example, Yarika was bought in a children's store, and Nastya peeled out of an egg. And after an hour in the parental room, it started: why tell your child such details?!? You can’t say “everything” about cabbage or store – come up with something, not cells in your stomach.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148458
 24.01.2018
About the inch
In the group was a girl with a height of 155 cm, the boys cared for her tall. But she married Stasi, whose height was 160 cm. Her aunt sadly summed up: Let's fuck the mice... (in the sense that the future generation will be even lower in height, and not to the mice we will stick.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148457
 24.01.2018
XXX: There were a lot of shortcomings in Yakutia yesterday. by -80!
What did they do that they had so many shortcomings?
XXX is Frozen! The frost in winter is not relevant.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148456
 24.01.2018
by MINHERZ

** The presence in the pocket of nitroglycerin tablets causes the interest of service dogs, electronic sensors, etc.

If the dog is in the years, it can cause. Their work is nervous, the heart to the end of the service is not to the hell, and the regular leash quickly ends - the dogs.
Electronic sensors are heartless.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148455
 24.01.2018
Remember that day. We are present at the birth of an entirely new phenomenon – METASCRACE.
This is shit about shit.

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