bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104514
 24.10.2014
News: iPhone 6 bended and burned right in the user’s pocket.

Commentary on the news: This is Fitzgerald. When you get to a deserted island, you will only need to break up your iPhone to start the fire :-)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104513
 24.10.2014
xxx: change the gateway on the external interface remotely... to the far road
XXX: at half six in the morning he put a distance
xxx: took the car and came to the office, there, of course, everything is closed but the wifi works, sat on the bench under the windows and under the falling snow raised the outside and let's play on.
xxx: looked masterpiece, 6 am snow falls, darkness and I am on the bench, constantly wash the snow from the monitor
XXX: interfering with the

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104512
 24.10.2014
<...> there was a period in life when work was associated with a variety of cranes (lifting)
more than half of them automatically turned off on the instructions of the management (as agreed with the tech supervision - not aware)
as a result - wind, rain, rolling cargo, unstoppably connecting computer, which can not empty the crane and loading is going - it was a real treach.
once removed the cabin at the MAZ with a pack of armor (the driver was not inside, the rules are such)
or when a 15-ton crane raises 20, the norm is also the picture
I don’t need to talk about security, I know it like my four fingers.
=========
And the fools.
Not just fools, but also fools.
You will break your thorns with a rolling cargo - fucking with you, there you and the road.
But you can kill or shatter others, shit. Where would a widow with three children go? Are you going to feed them, Gonzo?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104511
 24.10.2014
I now know why progeras drink coffee without sugar.
WOW :?? to
If you drink with sugar, then the keyboard is sticky.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104510
 24.10.2014
from ZH

Once again in my youth, I checked lessons at a second-class pupil. They were asked to read the story of Boris Zhitkov "The Red Commander".
And my wife and I could not get in at first, what our unfortunate student carries behind the Achine. Then came to me. The point of the story is that. That a woman with a child went to the city in a wheelchair, horses were carried, the wheelchair was swirling over the bridge. And the brave red commander rushed across, grabbed the horses under the knives and saved them all.
Normal for the 20s. And in the 1980s, the child could not understand WHAT I was talking about. How can everyone ride in a wheelchair, (he knew only children!) Why the horses, why the sparks fly under the wheels... The stone bridge at all struck him, he passed it through every word.
And the guy was very stubborn and self-loving, so as not to seem like a fool, will ask nothing again.
For a long time I explained to him the characteristics of urban transport and improvement 60 years ago.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104509
 24.10.2014
Today I woke up in the middle of the night, from Nadzkin’s shock coming from the kitchen. I ask :
Sleepless Night again?
I didn’t get anything, I just tried a piece.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104508
 24.10.2014
Shalopa and Gopa, Krasnodar Sale of gifts and souvenirs.
Contact person: Shalopai and Gopa

The world will never be the same.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104507
 23.10.2014
Oh, and this is WOW. WOW is a challenge to society.
He was the first to start!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104506
 23.10.2014
XXX: Where is Vitaly?
YYY: and HZ
May be back in Thailand.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: Do you think?
xxx: she, if I thought at least sometimes, I't wear such a shit

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104505
 23.10.2014
>Blooded

Now I seem to know how to name my condition when I’m stuck at home for a compost on the weekend. I am boiling)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104504
 23.10.2014
You are not sitting! You start doing something to send you to the shit, then we will think about how to get around that shit!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104503
 23.10.2014
xxx> by the way, in the Duma robbed a ATM
xxx> with a break and not a carder
yyy> right, where is the doom of the carder?
yyy> Average level of subcutaneity is depressingly low
yyy> Shake must be stronger (C)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104502
 23.10.2014
<Oracle> Sex is the safest and most effective painkiller in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valyum.
<Pirnik> here anesthesiologists will be pleased

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104501
 23.10.2014
The cat is stuck to sleep under the blanket, frozen. It sneezes, sneezes, sneezes, sneezes and sneezes. The full presence of the husband in bed. The cat does not need to wash and smooth, and it eats less.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104500
 23.10.2014
Several times tried alcohol, even Hennessy, but to drink at least until mild intoxication never worked, as nothing but disgust these products do not cause. What am I doing wrong?
-
You have no willpower! The weak!
I have the same annoyance.)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №104499
 23.10.2014
Harsh labor
This is not about my salary.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104498
 23.10.2014
I read here recently from a very young "after"

Applause passing into ovulation sounded throughout the hall.

I think I’m quiet at a percentage.
© Anarchy

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104497
 23.10.2014
I walk past the stop late in the evening, smoke hunting and smoke nothing. And there are two teenagers sitting in the darkness in some clothed hats. Let me go guys, let me smoke. They started kissing at the same time. Both the boy and the girl were offended. Uncomfortable overall.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104496
 23.10.2014
to this
and...
I once decided with a friend (at the time of the USSR) from Yalta to Gurzuf, on a boat, they previously walked along the Crimean coast as buses. Well, we didn't guess with the weather, and the captain didn't guess, in short - we got into a weak storm, and what meant us about the rocks did not fade, the driver of this dish decided to take a little moristee, well and took... The whole boat blew, long and stubbornly, and my friend fell asleep and thought... Well, I led him into the gallion, on the dancing under his feet, wet deck, which in itself was already a fun attraction. It was even more fun... but only to me... he wasn’t laughing, he had time to take off his pants and sit down, here the boiler swirled on the wave, the door of the gallion opened and he flew out into the corridor, with the ports dropped, convulsively clinging to the ropes for the wall-faced orders... he squeezed on the opposite wall and squeezed, squeezed. Then, according to all the laws of physics - the ship moved back, the friend flew inside and the door behind him, with a stunning shot shut down! I was already wildly rotting, but when this whole scene, almost instantly repeated... and then again, and again, and again... and so for 2-3 minutes... I was hysterical to tears. I got stuck in some iron and cried out of laughter! A friend... he was still long, several years, did not want to remember this trip, offended. Yes to! He never did anything... he wandered.
__________________________
A beautiful story... Only the doors in the gallion open inside... And so – it’s fun.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104495
 23.10.2014
artreal: for such cases you need a service "Cow for an hour"
Agavr: comes, does something male and goes to another woman. Ideally
Something stereotypically masculine. For example, he throws out his socks for an hour and then goes to another woman.
Dration: He lifts the toilet seat, then goes to another woman.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna