bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №148434
 24.01.2018
I run to the pharmacy at night, glowing my eyes on the windows. The young pharmacist understandably smiles and asks:

The condoms?

and late. Do you have a X-ray from 12 months?

A father whose daughter has ripped the last nipple.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148433
 24.01.2018
From the discussion of the article on gemification:

by Katya R:
To the author (may anyone else be helpful):
Sometimes interaction with humans is forced and it is impossible to refuse / avoid it (for any reason) and resembles torture; once I got tired and decided to treat such cases as contact with extraterrestrial civilizations - the appreciation attitude goes away (I can't tolerate you, fool!) and resources are not spent on overcoming stress (before - during - after), but (healthy) curiosity is included and the set of tools for the study of a new culture is expanded.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148432
 24.01.2018
Q: What did you go up?
by Aha. The most vivid impression of the film - Madame Truck commented on the match on the side of the Soviet Union. He speaks very well in Russian.)
Oh, remember we still laughed at how this Harry Potter did without exposing the Soviet spies? This is total espionage.
WOW: So we found out that they were Bulgarians, because their description of Bogaria as a terribly cold country in which without a shirt of natural nychler can not survive, somehow does not very coincide with reality.
And now Madame Truck? Will there be a new movie?
Harry Potter and the Bloody Gabbana Order!
Harry Potter and the Moscow Mayor’s Cup.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Secretary!
Fuck, JB has gone.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148431
 23.01.2018
I recently went to the post office to send a package. She came, rejoiced at the empty room, took the ticket.



Location: Post Office in St. Petersburg.



Shipment object: a package from the Bookweed, filled with all kinds of threads, then - a "wheel".



Actors: I’m me, T’s a receiver of the package.



I approach the window, I lay a wrap on the table in front of me.

I: Hello to you! Can I get a box for 98 rubles for a package?

Q: Do you eat something fragile?

I: No, in any case...

My aunt picks a pipe in the blue package of the Russian Post

Q: Then you don’t need a box.

I: I want to pack in a box so I don’t remember anything. I would like to say that the average who...

Q: Is there something fragile in the package?

I: No, but...

T: Then you don’t need it!

I: But I want to pack! Give me a box, please.

T is fragile. of something. is there?

I: It’s not fragile there, but it can be reminded...

Aunt closes the bag, closes and weighs

It is 346 rubles. We do not accept cards.



O_O



The guy, wiping his tears while telling my story, said that she had an algorithm and needed to break it, saying, “Yes, there is.”

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №148430
 23.01.2018
He was hospitalized with appendicitis. Cut it out, everything went well. A few days for recovery. Next to the bed there is a button "call the nurse", I lie down at night and accidentally hold my hand and activate the button.

I already came up with how to apologize to the neighbors, to my sister, I thought about the whole dialogue.

No one came.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148429
 23.01.2018
Ank-Morpork, playing with a multitude of different forms of government, stopped on the form of democracy known as “one Man, one Voice.” Thus, the Man was Patricius, and he had the only Voice.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148428
 23.01.2018
He died long before his death

>> A fat man after 50. Remember, every kilogram plus, one year of life minus

What number should I take from?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148427
 23.01.2018
For some reason, in the winter, I get up very early, with dawn.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148426
 23.01.2018
As the saying goes, worse than a fool, only a fool is initiative.
YYY: There is even worse. This is a fool who was given a small power - a guard, a guard, etc.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №148425
 23.01.2018
You can be a wonderful person, an interlocutor and so on, but the hungry person does not care about your qualities, he is hungry, and your behavior looks like frank cruelty and bullying. If you do not understand what you are doing, I hope you will understand now. Many women, unfortunately, do not understand, and it also dulls...

You can be a wonderful person, an interlocutor, and so on, but you don’t care about your hunger.
Men often don’t understand what they are doing.
And no one hopes that you will understand.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148424
 23.01.2018
Under the post about the regular detention by customs officers of jokers who speak for the sake of a trick that they carry trout, drugs, weapons, etc.:
As my father said, never joke with the authorities: they have instructions instead of a sense of humor.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148423
 23.01.2018
XXXX: Lenny is the engine of progress
The engines of Progress are RD-117, RD-118 and RD-0110

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148422
 23.01.2018
A bit of myth:

A little useless information.
Tesseract hypertension is measured in meters in the fourth degree. The tesseract does not rotate around the axis, but around the surface. Tesseract cannot be sprayed with a flat saw, because Four-dimensional bodies are dispersed not by plane, but by volume. The mass of teseract is infinite.

The amount is true.
This is a lie. The tesseract can rotate around the hyperplane of any whole dimension from zero to 2, including around the axis. This depends on the diversity in which the teseract is built.
Tesseract can be sprayed with any hyperplate of any whole dimension from zero to 3, it also depends on the variety in which the tesseract is built. And also from the definition of the word "spray". ))
The mass is a lie. Geometric bodies have no mass, mass is a physical property. But if we imagine a teseract made of existing material in our space-time, then its mass is finite and equal to the mass of the granite of teseract multiplied by the time of its existence.
Honestly yours, the topologue. )))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148421
 23.01.2018
I read on the Internet - in no diet is prohibited to eat osetrina, crabs, lobsters, red and black caviar

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148420
 23.01.2018
Stop comparing sex with food and porn with a culinary show. This comparison is incorrect at least because if you have eaten in a friend’s guest the food he has cooked, then you will not be considered an unfaithful spouse or a sodomite.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148419
 23.01.2018
XXX is
Do you know the fucking website?

YYYY
Yes Yes

XXX is
Feel the depth of my fall and despair in my past work.

XXX is
I put the code from this site into the project.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148418
 23.01.2018
XXX: I am a great man.
I can recognize pregnant women by smell.
XXX: This is good news.
The bad thing is that I will soon have to find a new employee again.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №148417
 23.01.2018
"You'll Stay With Forty Cats" So if a aunt can keep forty cats alone, can you imagine how much she earns?! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148416
 23.01.2018
xxx: How to walk during a game of chess to create the maximum moral and psychological discomfort for the opponent?

YYY: Under your own.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148415
 23.01.2018
The salary cannot be large or small. It is either enough or it is lacking.

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