bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37858
 25.10.2010
I’m sitting behind the note reading BOR. Here, Noot suddenly became angry and the unexplained began. Text stands out by itself, new tabs, microsoft outlook, calculator, search engine and more are opened. Everyone, I think, the devil has invaded, I sit and cuddle quietly. As a result, it turned out that in the neighboring room a small brother was sitting and sparring on a wireless keyboard like on a piano, stucco. I totally forgot about her...

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №37857
 25.10.2010
Today I struck my puppy trying to spit on the carpet. He didn’t have time to finish his business, was scared of my presence and ran into my room, then into the kitchen, then into the hallway. Now instead of cleaning a bunch of shit, I need to clean the whole apartment.

by Zastuka.li

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №37856
 25.10.2010
Marriage is the union of two people, one of whom needs only one, and the other does not understand what.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №37855
 25.10.2010
The daughter came from school, she tells... They have a teacher, such a nice aunt, for their students just an insect, protects, helps.
Actually the story itself. A child in her class has health problems. Parents need to go to school so that the child can be taken home.
Takes him to the teacher’s office, takes him to the phone, calls, type. The child
(5 class) stood, rounded his eyes and whispered to her, "I don't know how to use this."

[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37854
 25.10.2010
Only the Russian driver crossing the road with unilateral movement looks in both directions.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №37853
 25.10.2010
Prepod on history on a pair of fire: "And the Chinese are good in terms of economy, quickly set up the production of bits for American football"
OO
And so the sport is tough, and with the bites probably would be a gesture in general)))

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №37852
 25.10.2010
xxx: How or where to find a NEO programmer?
YYY: Look in the matrix, he sits there often.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №37851
 25.10.2010
XXX: My name is Iridius.
Is it not a chemical element?
XXX is so. Her mother wanted her to have an iridium. and :(

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37850
 25.10.2010
I am just disgusting! From the first days of the census he waited for the transcribers, he wanted to call himself a dwarf. The next day I talked to the neighbor, he mentioned the moment, she heard it.
C: Don’t worry, it has already been rewritten.
I: In the sense of how?
C: Yes, when I was questioned, I also gave your data)
The End of Dreams (

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №37849
 25.10.2010
KOrsar45: Today the sanitarian came.
KOrsar45: not yet time to enter, right from the threshold asked
KOrsar45: "In the toilet joke?"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №37848
 25.10.2010
I am, therefore, interested in the following question: in connection with the reform of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, will the ‘lightening police officers’ be renamed into ‘lightening police officers’?

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №37847
 25.10.2010
XXX: Can I ask you a question?
YYY: Yes of course.
Are you waiting for a prince on a white horse?
YYY : No.
XX: I need a more specific answer.
I am not waiting for a prince on a white horse.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №37846
 25.10.2010
Almabekov: This is the technology.
The determiner of her number sends the call, for example, to Skype or elsewhere, the voice recognizer turns her voice into text, then a message is sent to you in the aska.
You write back in asky, the program reads the text written by you, pronounces it to the phone.
ckkpss: I think this is the birth of a permafrost startup
Versus: Oh, let’s call him Pageer.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №37845
 25.10.2010
I saw this picture:
There is a woman with a child, a girl of five years. A woman tries to put her daughter Chupachup in the mouth while saying the following:
Soap and sauce! It is pleasant!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №37844
 25.10.2010
XXX: Here, they finally caught the ass out of the roof. put in a box. What to do with him next?
YYY: Well, you can just drown.
YYY: Although, unfortunately, you can make a hole and put it in an empty field.
YYY: Well, and if you want to make money on them, you come to the market and sell.
ZZZ: "The Box of Axis! The box! To whom is the box! Buy a box! Play a game for your birthday!"

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №37843
 25.10.2010
In the news of the contact it is written that the visibility of the site has increased. And the thing was this: "Listen, you’ve been in contact for a long time?" – "Aga" – "Come in, look at what’s wrong.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №37842
 25.10.2010
Nolph3: I’m going to the circle today. With me out of the entrance comes the Gopnik Serezh (he just knows the whole entrance). All such slick, in white shoes "Puma", in light blue dinosaurs, in a white jacket and a hat. Everything is new and you won’t even say immediately that he’s a troll. There is a huge hole before entering.
So, he goes out, and a wide step into this pit is straight and comes. Of course, the bottom of the pants and shoes in dirt. It spreads quietly "la, well what kind of luck does it have? Only to the girl, dressed normally as...", and with anger by habit pins the loaf. And he mocked well, with the soul and in the end, completely, from head to feet, is covered with a layer of dirt. Then he comes out of himself and speaks loudly "Za**alo!". After which he decides to make a broad gesture, taking off the hat and vengeantly throwing it to the ground, but he throws it into the pit...
It is distributed throughout the courtyard "Uki! Eat it all!", removes his jacket (you know, such a soft, plushy, instead of sleeves - holes) and throws it into the pit. From the jacket flies out his suffered iPod4 hits the asphalt in a shallow spot of the lawn, jumping away to the side where deeper and drowns.
Sergey falls on his knees (and he has light-blue jeans) gets out of the Ipod barracks and glimpses, goes back into the entrance (I stood in the door all this time).
Until this moment I barely contained laughter, but then it became really sorry for him, not lucky people in life.

[ + 55 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37841
 25.10.2010
I thought... Lenin on a armor, Yeltsin on a tank, Putin on a calf... And what about Medvedev? and :)

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37840
 25.10.2010
I was a day at a company of a friend, well, his company has a diesel repair. He has somewhere about 10 employees, and among them one guy, a terrible eccentric by life, nicknamed Chiki-Bryak.
Then he will disassemble the car into spare parts for the purpose of repair, and then he cannot assemble, then he will collect it, and it will explode and burn, then it will saturate the batteries, and it will be poisoned with acid, well, generally miss him no time.

He works through a pen-collar, in fact just justifying his salary. Well, I say to my friend – Michael, and why don’t you dismiss Chiki-Bryak?
He says if he is fired, the company will die. In each office there should be such a fun guy who slightly creeps, or the office cranes.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №37839
 25.10.2010
On the subject of fear...
My mother and I stand in line on the street. There is an ax underneath her. Mother with a scream strikes her shirt to her ears to the general pleasure of men and in this form runs away. I pretended I didn’t know this woman.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna