From Habr:

xxx: Probably, the record holders of porting for almost all platforms are Tetris, Snake, Arkanoids, Sockbans... and Doom.
yyy: The porting record is Hello World.

What was Newton’s name?
by Bin.
(from the teaching forum on how students burn)

Have you ever had sex?
Alex: No, but I saw my brother do this.

From the discussion of computer science teachers:

I once showed my ass.

As a starting point was the phrase, “do what you want and show that it works.” I did a game where on the second level I painted my ass with love.

At the delivery of the work I started the game, he twisted a couple of times, set a score and asked to record on the disk so that he could play at home. I, smiling, fulfilled his request. Because I knew there would be no more courses on his subject.

When "creative girls" get in hr, the following requirements appear in the vacancies:

Excellent knowledge of SQL
–...
Ability to assess their incompetence in related fields

From the multivarka discussion:
For such a dispersed housewife like me, who goes to the internet forgetting that the pot begins to roast as soon as it stops cooking, the multivarka turned out to be a real salvation.

How did you fix it?
by YYY
The xxx tcp package is blown up so that the content does not fall out? and :)
YY is not.
YYY engaged engineer in his ass

Discussion of the news "Metro Kiev can be filled with sounds of nature" on site:

SAnd: I want to hunt lions at night in the savannah! Turn off the lights in the cars in the tunnels.

α: In 2011 Lurkomorye moved: lurkmore.to
β: If they move somewhere again, then it will be possible to state on all grounds that Lurkomorie is no longer.to!

The proof that mankind will discover travel into the past is "Apple on the plate" from Russian fairy tales - how would a medieval man be able to explain the iPad?

Credit is evil!
WOW: This is an outcast anti-Semitism!

Knowledge works in support of the software giant.
I: Well, what has broken up again?
H: (a little upset) Nothing
I: Okay okay? O_O
Congratulations to!
H: We just haven’t done anything so far ?

My sister’s colleague studied English long and hard. studied carefully.
On his first trip abroad, he needed something in his room, and he decided to call the reception.
It was, so to speak, the star hour.
He called "0" and on their "hello" boldly issued a phone call: “Hi! Can I help you?

to this:

xxx: A husband who is not a cableman, independent, demanding in the case, having his opinion on any issue, they are called "you have exhausted all my nerves, shit."

— — —

Yes, a man who has his own opinion on any matter is called that. It is harder than cooking lunch in the presence of such a miracle in the kitchen except to fuck in the square.

Tania is crying loudly.
Our Tanya Windows Patch
Silence, dance, do not cry
A new patch is coming soon.

The insulted accountant:

here here :
Che rjotte, my bugs do that... they once wanted to get the text of the song from the mp3 by renaming it to txt. Toli themselves invented, Toli joked someone over them so badly. I want to cry...

___
In accounting, no less than a ruble, when administrators in 100 rubles can not allocate VAT!

___
So the essence is that the administrators do this and do not try, do not get the accounting afterwards and do not write in the resume "possession of accounting at the level of an experienced accountant"!

Do you know what a fox sounds like?
yyy: What, really such a difficult question? )))
Lisa is laughing. She is a dog, at all.
zzz: pf the fox. What sound does a giraffe make?

Oh, Marika, you are so happy now!
Bordeaux recipe
Tagged: shoes video
Wow, not there

Chui, don't joke so subtly, now two months will be bitterly breathing about modern education, once a great country and a fucking generation.

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If you are asked, what is better, the sun or the moon? Answer for a month. For the sun shines in the day when it is already light, and the moon in the night.
Kozma Prutkov (50-60s of the 19th century)

Education and the truth crants, if we do not know such quotes...
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It’s crazy not to change fate.
Two months of war on the fucking generation is still secured.
Well, I at least tried.

The fucking!! I was frozen when I went to work. All the grandmothers fell on their knees and prayed, accepting the ringing of my eggs for the ringing of church bells!