On the smartphone, when the SMS comes, you can see a piece of text in the box at the top, next to the Internet icon. Now comes the message - "Dear member of the MTS Bonus! You have so many points. Learn how to accumulate pain"

They know something ><

I went to Dracula yesterday.
– Oh! And how?
and Mura.
Is it a mole, or can you look at it once?
It feels like Mikhailkov was filming. It is Mura.
- O_O

Yes, I am a pig to her, but my attitude to her is just a reflection of her attitude to me.


Why do we need this parody on the family?

The Desperate :
The guys!
I understand, of course, that you have trouble deciphering the hints, but fucking, if the girl says she’s frozen, that means she wants you to embrace her rather than philosophize about the coming cold winter!! to

Desperate girl who didn’t wait for her arms.

We are not telepaths. We are not telepaths. The girl can hint on the hugs, or she can hint on going somewhere. In the second case, a ton of misunderstanding will come to the guy for the imposed arms. Do you want hugs? You say you’re frozen and carefully cling to the guy. Or speak straight. Get used to immediately when communicating with men to make a discount on their misunderstanding. Because with the further development of relationships, even with the most understanding guy, a situation will begin that, having used to communicating so, the girl begins to be offended that her more and more meaningless phrases remain incomprehensible. And we are afraid to be obsessive with those girls we really like. And yet we are tired and we may not understand "the simplest". Be tolerant to us. We love you, but we don’t always understand you.

After the match LH BATE - Shahter (0:7 if that) Shahter's coach said: "In the retaliation match, the BATE will be a different team"
Top comment: "Now clear pen, this composition of the father shoots"

15620 by the author.

What’s so hard about showing the way? I live in a big city and I don’t find it hard to say anything. And you with this life position I advise you to remember: in case of a fire in your home, no one is obliged to be able to extinguish the fire, cope with it yourself, there is water in the pipes. If you become upset on the street - also no one is obliged to know how to treat you and help you, you are able to buy a pharmacy in advance, well, etc.

A®tu®4ik {Sandero}: guys remind you of the saying there is some kind of "keep the fuck in the shit and a whale in the wind", there is something else, but this kind of thing.
Keep your feet warm and your head cold.
SerЁga {bmw_m3}: But your option is even better *rofl*

XXX: Please bring me to court.
Zzzz: God will give!

You watch the recordings from the video recorders, and sometimes people in the salon play such music that you want to hit them.

I am going through a pedestrian crossing today. In front of me, a crazy man is crawling. Here, the foot is turned! So much hurt! Well, don’t sit right on the "zebra"! I go further, pulling my foot. I raise my eyes...
I should have seen the expression of the face of the dumb man who was going to meet me!

by Drom.ru

One thing is when a billionaire earns money honestly, it gets Tesla, and when he steals and steals, it's a mobile phone.

Non-enriched with intelligence, the ladies, 16-19 years, who did not have time to break up with innocence, were heavily obscured with the topics "The first time - painful, too big, something can break there and so on".
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Oh, how I would like such lambs to experience the same feelings a girl experiences when she loses her virginity. Yes, and the first few times after; and also to heal possible minor injuries, which can quite happen if the girl is inexperienced and shy, and the guy is an insensitive bastard and inserts from all the scale. And what you experience when the member is too big, and how you subconsciously shrink in advance in anticipation of a new pain, hope that this time you will be able to adjust to such a posture so that there are no unpleasant sensations (there is no talk about orgasm here). You, ignorant bulls, are so sure that you know everything about sex and there can be no illness - and at the same time you wonder why sex in girls sometimes almost have to ask, you are offended when it turns out that they are simulating... I hope that it is not far from the time when we, stupid lovers, will stop worrying in the first place about how not to hurt the feelings of these idiots; when sex finally becomes exactly what it is: a complex creative process that should be learned by both partners, and not an intersection, in which the man did not understand something wrong at all, and the woman decided that it would happen and at all, sex is not the main thing...

The daughter herself filled the diary for the first time... beautifully and accurately... until October 47...

And yet, in the face of women, I will say, with bigger problems still more. On average, the size of a female organ in an excited state is 15-16 cm. I’m guaranteed to make a bunch of angry comments, but my opinion – anything more than 20 – is purely for the same men in the bath themselves to measure before each other.
************
Very much plush. I remember, I had one with 25 cm... and a diameter of cm 5... I still remember with tremors.
Better than 14. In addition, in this case, and oral and anal sex for pleasure, not for tension ;).
The PS. This post is not intended for glamorous babysitters, who can swallow any member to the stomach and push two fists into their ass. You can do anything :)

Talk about children’s injustice:
...and they sat down and watched Twin Peaks and sent me to sleep. It was so offensive - why can't kids watch "Twin Peaks"?? to
Well, there is sex, drugs, psychotherapy, incest...
–...
Probably a psychedelic.

There is no limit to perfection:
to this:
xxx: On the guillotines of Russian production in general in a clever way. To cut, you need to place your hand on the sides and press two buttons at the same time and then press the pedal with your foot. An accident is impossible.
What is the head for?
XXX: There the hands are strongly spread, the head does not fall. I have checked :)
___________________________________
The Balbus! First the pedal, then the buttons, or even the package, and open it, and you will be blown up.
and if serious: the height of the package of paper 80 g / m2 in 500 sheets (standard for cutting) is less than the head, so that the head under the press does not enter))))
Although if you are about the gillotine on metal... then hz)
The rs. The Lemmings 😉
= is
A real case, though old - at the end of the USSR. At the cartographic factory (I do not remember exactly our guillotine was or was still German for repairs, but the standard cuts a stack of 25 cm height per meter approximately wide - the head enters precisely) an accident occurred - the worker cut off two fingers. You boil well, the commission - all checked - well it is impossible to get hurt - two buttons in the meltdown, press the semi-automatic (do not press not start), the descent - the pedal. He has long broken his head - "How?Then they called the wounded, and they said, “How?” But this is the way - shows the victim, one button on the swab, the other hand and sweeps the whole hand under the knife = cartilage!!!, and the second two fingers at the whole commission in the wash...
And you say "impossible"...

A million years ago, our invented such a service - SMS notification of disbursements from the subscriber's account. No one for five years!! None of the millions of subscribers used this service. Yesterday was suffering.
And some idiot-scriptologist, this service did not depend on the bound-abonnent, which is written off once a month, but on random copies for each operation. and
I forgot to fix in the payment field.
At the test stage, everything was messed up - there was no bonding. Here is the first!) For five years, the customer has signed up for this service. I sent a SMS and received a notification - "50 copies". And then he wrote off three pennies for receiving this notification.
And they sent a new notification of "3 copies" for which they wrote off 5 copies and sent a notification. In general, the pop had a dog.. endless cycle, 1-5 copies per iteration, speed ~ 1 sms/sec. For domestic services, a default rate is not established.
In short, until we understood, the guy for 10 pieces in minus went away, his phone died from overheating, and we had all the sots from the area pulled off to this hut, where the subscriber lived!

The main thing is not the size, but how to use it"

Everyone has forgotten about virginity!! to

here here :

About man’s selfishness:
I’ve got my 14cm and it doesn’t "you
Is it painful?"

I look forward to the comic on this quote, as well as all the comments to it)))

I run to the left of course (due to my wife's chronic headache), but I was not suspected, so we will consider that I am not running.
It is ===
In the supermarket, I sometimes catch chocolate, but the loss is already in the cost, so we will consider that it is not theft.

In the bus sometimes I do not pay for the trip, but it is so uncomfortable, so we will consider that I do not ride a rabbit.

I park my car at the playground, but we don’t have a parking in the yard for a year, so I just put the car in my place.