Many years ago this story happened. In our city there was such a “Vietnamese market” where they traded who? It is right! ...which with the Russian was bad......so cheap... Here I chose a leather jacket (very good - I still wear) for the winter, and there are a lot of them, but two essential varieties - with rubber from below or free, I measure, I hold a mirror:

Just like a rubber...

Hahahaha yes! : - )

This is better without a rubber...

Lucy is Lucy! : - )

This one with a rubber, but big pockets, good like...

Haasoo, Haasoo is Haasoo! : - )

It’s like this with pockets, but it’s better without rubber.

and yes! Lucy, Lucy is Lucy!

(At this point I notice that they bring me jackets from other points of the market because the purchase at 18-23KR is not large for them apparently, and I was so sorry for them)

And measuring, I said:

I see you’re trying so hard, I’ve probably already taken you?

Zippo is Zippo! : - )

My name is Andrew and I work as a soapmaker. I live in communion with my neighbor Azat. Once I served him a fermented cabbage from my mom, and he stretched me a triangular-shaped cake, saying that it was a strawberry. I broke a piece, put it in my mouth and the monda kitte bu malai, shundy tamele булды bu echpochmak, min chaini-cheini, шулай tamleep сот belen eche-che arip bettem, annary kiperap usirip ziberdem de yoclarga ittim.

It was in 2001 or 2002. I worked in a computer club. For business, and just for "cruelty" bought a cell phone Siemens A50.

At the very beginning of autumn, because of the cold, decided to buy an autumn jacket on the Chinese market (at the time, the largest choice was there).

We go with my future wife in the rows, looking for a coat of a suitable style, as suddenly a call from a colleague (by the combination of a groupmate) that he can not go out tonight because of some unexpected plans. In the course of the conversation, my wife and I go on in the rows, as she suddenly pulls me by the sleeve, like a posture. I am still standing and talking on the phone.

The Chinese runs and begins to actively show his goods, as they say in the face, to get something and offer to sample.

I show one of the models, continuing to talk.

When I finished, I talked to a colleague. I stop the dialogue (I understand that the price is already being traded):

Seller: - Fuck the boss, I can’t!

I am: four hundred This is maximum.

Seller: Seventy hundred pounds!

I (wife): Let’s go see again.

The seller (with a deep breath): take it! A long tirade on the native language.

I am satisfied with the jacket exactly as I wanted, the price is extremely low, given the normal quality.

My wife and I go away a little, she laughs.

I ask what happened. It turned out that while I was talking to a colleague, she asked for the price. The price was 950 rubles. At the moment when the seller said the price, I said to a colleague, “Are you sick? “What was taken to their address. The answer was “eight hundred.”

Thus, continuing to argue over the phone, I lowered the price of the jacket to 500, i.e. to the cost of starting the conscious, on my part, deals.

Never complain about life, it doesn’t like knockers.

The fact that my husband is sick on the whole head is testified by the fact that he is married to me. He has some incredible number of bits, which eventually start to spread by air droplets to relatives, friends and acquaintances.
One such way is to give human names to uninhabited objects. Not everyone, of course, but only the most worthy. And he not only baptizes them, he also talks to them.

For example, he has a favorite circle. A penguin is painted on the circle. The penguin’s name is Pafnuth.
I once asked:
Why the Paphos?
My husband looked at me surprised and asked:
Well and how?
I thought and understood: really, no more.
In the morning, the husband takes Pafnutia out of the kitchen cabinet and says:
“Well, brother Pafnuty, for a cup of coffee?
In the evenings, they and Pafnoty drink tea, and my husband complains to him about me:
“You see, Pafnuty, with whom do you have to cut the century? Appreciate, brother, loneliness, do not make a penguin.

There is a Bulgarian woman named Zinaida. The bulgarsk is not in the sense of a native of Bulgaria, but in the sense of a tool for cutting metal.
At first, her husband called her Snow, because he believed that the Bulgarian must have a Bulgarian name. However, after getting acquainted with the character of the Bulgarian, he realized that she was Zinaida.
When you need to cut something metal, he gets it out of the shell and says:
Zinaid, are we going to be mad?
And they begin to go crazy. And when they get mad, he puts it in a shell, puts it on a shelf and gently says:
Good dreams to you, Zina.

And in the apartment we live in a closet named Boris Petrovich. So respectfully, by the name of the father, yes.
When we bought the apartment, the first thing we ordered was a closet. And this closet was collected by a collector named Boris Petrovich.
Of course, this fact throws a shadow of shame on my husband, but in fact there is an explanation for it.
In fact, all the rest of the furniture in our house (as well as in the house of my mother, in the house of his parents and in the houses of many of our friends) was collected by the husband himself. And the closet would gather, just spit, but it turned out that on the day of delivery he was on a business trip and had to return only weeks after two.
I categorically refused to live two weeks in the midst of an unthinkable number of boards and boxes, in addition, I could not wait to quickly hang up all my clothes on hangers, so I didn't wait for my husband and invited a store collector. I have regretted it forty times.
The collector Boris Petrovich, coming to visit me, took a one-column bath, and this one-column of the brand "Honey Forest" (or "Russian Field", or "Youth of Maxim" - I don't know) swept the whole house. I escaped from Boris Petrovich’s amber on the balcony.
Boris Petrovich worked concentratedly, relentlessly, with a feeling, with a lot, with a setting, with five breaks for tea drinking. I was very surprised why I didn’t make him company at the table. And I just can’t drink tea that smells of column.
The professional Boris Petrovich, being a collector from God, collected the closet from 9 o'clock in the morning to 11 o'clock in the evening. During this time, my husband could easily put up a two-story house and a bath in the yard.
My things remained lying in the boxes, not knowing the cold of the hangers, because all two weeks before the arrival of my husband I ventilated the whole apartment, and the closet in particular, from the smell of Boris Petrovich. I was even ashamed to ride the subway, because it seemed to me that the whole car was being shielded from me by this cheap killing column.
When the man arrived, there was already a decent atmosphere in the apartment. He joyfully jumped to the furniture renovation, happily cried out, "Oh, the closet!" He shut up, opening the door.
About a minute he came to himself from the smell that came upon him, and then asked me:
Emm... what is that?
“This is Boris Petrovich,” I replied.
This is how our closet got its name, and the collector Boris Petrovich, without knowing it, became his baptist (our cousin, therefore).
Now the husband, going to some important event, advises with the closet what to wear:
– Boris Petrovich, what about the blue shirt?
Or asks for:
Can you borrow a tie, Boris Petrovich?
He hangs his suit and says:
Boris Petrovich, keep it as your honor.

We also have a Stepan magazine table.
Well here it is simple: we bought it in disassembled form, and at home it turned out that the assembly instructions are written in English and Chinese.
My husband first asked me to read the Chinese version, then for ten minutes he was upset that he married some illiterate little girl who didn’t even know Chinese, and then graciously allowed me to read in English.
A cowboy-woman and in English, in general... khmm... But something else.
The instructions were written “step one.” Well, with my pronunciation... In general, the magazine table became Stepan.
When I look for a lighthouse or a magazine, my husband says:
I don’t know where. Ask the Stepan.

We also have a microwave. I know it’s something personal that I don’t need to know.
Because when my husband puts a plate of food into her and gently says, “Warm up, Galia... Do it for me, little girl...” all my questions are stuck somewhere in the area of the thyroid.
A romance of the past.

We also have an electric plywood that breaks forever. Her husband calls her Nadja.
When I asked why Naducha, he replied:
I had one... I also broke all the time.
When he is going to burn her egg in the morning, he always asks:
“Well, Nadjush, will you finally be mine today? Give my eggs a chance.

We also have Raisa’s ashes. The husband claims that that she is Raisa can be seen with the naked eye.
When a man wants to smoke, he says:
Raisa, make a nice company.
And when something distracts him, he puts a cigarette in it and says:
Raisa was arrested.

This infection is viral.
Some of our friends have Phil's TV (because "Philips") and Anatoly's refrigerator (because it's always full of shit, like the pockets of Wassermann's jacket).
Others named the lion from the television Lucy - in honor of a neighbor who is also, according to them, a lion.
The third resides in the laundry machine Love Petrovna. When the car was delivered to them and unpacked, their old grandmother shrugged her hands and said:
Beautiful as the love of Petrovna Orlova!
And even my mom has a teaspoon named Isolda. I don’t know why Isolde. When I tried to figure it out, my mother looked at me as if I had been deceived (but she always looked at me like that), and my husband said with indignation that he had never heard of a more stupid question in his life, and that every fool understands why the spoon is so called.

Actually here.
I don’t know why I wrote all this here... Well, probably to emphasize the idiotism of my family and the comrades close to her.

Theft in the store:
Put money in the bag.
The package costs 5 rubles.
The Thief: The Fuck! (I have my package)

I survive the fourth tenth, and spent all this time just scissors, and existed, it turns out, with growths, cracks, weak and torn nails? What I lived is wasted!

Well! My hands and legs have never broken. He hit, so the ice applied and went on. These idiots in the trauma points with their gips went crazy!

Gorynych was not just a snake, but a green. Therefore, the alcohol was sprayed, and at some distance from the barrel the alcohol was sprayed.

This is why he was called the “Wonder of Evil.” Spray and spray, and why burn?

On each floor, their own 2, + on each floor there is a storage room, where they store inventory, there often and shut down, pour the washing machine, change the clothes, etc. They go out to work on hours, you can’t always see them. I walk by the secretary.
Natasha, where is the cleaning room?
Natasha – what is it?? to
Near the courier guy - guys, on the fourth floor near the seams, the teas chase.

Daddy came and bought tobacco for Kalyan.
Nikhil is so charged.

by Liquid

Castrate a cat at an early age when it is full of strength and can easily endure the operation.

Lol what? Castrating a cat?

Cats are sterilized and cats are castrated. For ease of communication with the client and veterinarians use the same terminology. However, females of animals are conducted both castration and sterilization. In the first case, the uterus with the ovaries is removed, in the second - only the ovaries.

Many constant pop-ups except the buttons "Yes" and "No" very lacking the button "You go to the ass!".

and from the word "analogue" in inexperienced subjects there is a twist of the brain twist

The analogue!

Please answer, is the square a rombo?

Yes is. A square is a rumble whose angles are all straight.

Ariel was the daughter of a sea king.

Belyaev - Ariel was a guy and could fly.

In the present reality, Ariel is a powder and knows how to fuck. The Brain. Their advertising...

This is how romance broke up.

xxx: Today in my programming career came the apogee, I repaired the elevator

This story happened at the beginning of the zero, and I was a witness to it. Truth at the time was a very young student, but recently I was reminded of the details and I decided to share it with you.

My relatives had a tiny black-and-white electronics TV in the kitchen.

And there was such a "speciality" of this television, it perfectly captured the neighbor's radio telephone. At the time of the neighbors' conversation on this phone, the picture began to rumble, and instead of the sound, the whole dialogue was clearly heard. We sit there, eat lunch, and watch something on TV. Suddenly, the image disappears, and the usual telephone conversation between the female (G) and male (M) voice begins:

and allo.

M: Hi my dear. What do you do?

Hi, nothing, I’m at home.

M: Then I’ll go to you.

Hihi, why is this?

Apparently playing.

M: Why is it? To get rid of you properly.

You are what! Talk about these things on the phone!

The man at that end, blowing up from his own importance:

This line is not pro-shia-va-et-sya!



In general, we were able to normally have lunch only after half an hour, just when the tears dried up and the stomachs from laughter ceased to hurt.

The guy now told the story, as today wrote to him by a classmate, whom he had not seen for five years. He signed up and offered her to meet. At first, no, no, and then I agreed. He drops his address and writes, “Come.” The hour of night. The guy 20 minutes gathered, brought himself up, ordered a taxi, and rushed to the address. It goes. Upon entering it is an administrative building. He is like that, okay, writing to her that he is coming in. I am here, and where are you? It is like this: turn to the left now, look to that side. Do you see? He is such – no. And she is like that, then turn a little further to the left and go another two and a half thousand kilometers... I’m in Peter.



Then it turned out that in the third class he threw her on a date too. She came to him, and he slept without hearing her.



You don’t remember that? No is. And I remember...

A long time ago, when entering the MGU came to appeal after the composition.
I heard two students be told that they had made a bunch of mistakes: one wrote Lermonth, the other Tolstoy.

by Mikhail
If I had been told 20 years ago that I would be installing a cat game on a portable powerful computer with a touch screen and wireless connection to the worldwide information network, I would have been caught up.

Oleg> what is it? by Ohrid
Galina> Oleg, a bunch of videos on YouTube about how kittens play with tablets and touch phones... feet catch everything that moves)))
Oleg> and for an elderly chihuahua there are no such games, interesting?
Mikhail> Chess
Andrei> and Preference