bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №10137
 20.09.2008
of generations...

There is a generation that doesn’t know what it’s like to hear a song you like on the radio, press on the magnetophone "rec", and then understand that you’ve lost your favorite cassette... :(

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №10136
 20.09.2008
Dear Tarakanov Maxim Andreevich, I know that you are sitting on the tower now, and that means you have free time. Call me fuck! Your favorite wife.and :-)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №10135
 20.09.2008
vituwa
"..... treatment of alcoholism, tobacco smoking, obesity in 1 session..."
How can it be

Avdeeff
The mouth shut.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №10134
 20.09.2008
In the morning I was given a catalogue of the company Kemper, it produces extraction equipment. And, judging by the text, the catalogue was translated into Russian by the Germans themselves.
All the way I was killed by the adjective "flexible". I couldn’t understand the first 20 pages. I had to guess what it comes from the German "flexibel", which in the normal translation into the domestic sounds only as "flexible". It is interesting what the Germans would have said if I had translated into their language words I do not know the translation of, receiving something like "gibken" or "suschtschestwowanijen".
The most taste. Yes, in German there is a verb "absaugen". Only in Germany it has no negative connotations, unlike Russian. Despite the fact that "saugen" - "sugging", and the console "ab" - "from". But it was not necessary to translate this word in parts and literally... And they got this:
The suction machine is perfectly able to suck from the welders directly on the desk with optimal suction force. The suction force can be adjusted from the minimum to the maximum suction level, which is very pleasing to the welders"... "The suction table will make the work of the welder much more enjoyable"... And finally "Kemper is a recognized leader in the suction industry". This is about 200 pages of text.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №10133
 20.09.2008
I was in the store today, picking my sister’s toy on the day. She is still small, loves soft mice. I go and watch the bears. Here I see the slogan 2 for the price of one, and on the shelf there are two mice in a hug. Like any Russian person, I buy and run to the box with toys.
On my birthday, my sister approaches me and absolutely quietly asks:"Who are these pedics??" I am naturally in a shock, and she stretches my mouse, and it is written on them " Pediki-bears"

The conclusion is not: do not behave on the hole, crack on pedics...bears.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №10132
 20.09.2008
I never thought that smoked pork would be translated as "cotted pork", not smoked pork(((

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №10131
 20.09.2008
Would you advise me to play?
XXXL: Fallout 2
Tagged with: mmm!! Fallout 2 theme, stop!
Crac: Definitely a Fal2 cacao.
Hm, I will read.
[ from 5 minutes ]
It has 256 colors. What a shit?
Go to hell, you little fool!
XXXL: be you cursed!! to
Feodor: dirty bowlen, nihuya hasn’t played a podium except racing?
Feodor went to download Fallout2 to then behave as well

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №10130
 20.09.2008
I brought the potatoes home. Dry in the kitchen. The potatoes occupied the whole floor in the kitchen.
In the evening, a friend comes and starts cooking in the kitchen. Through the distance between the kitchen and the room where I’m sitting, I hear “Dear, the potatoes in the refrigerator are gone, go buy.” I never doubted you, dear.
I go to the store, buy a kilo of potatoes, come and pour on the floor in the kitchen, in a common pile. I have never seen such amazed eyes.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №10129
 20.09.2008
ADAMAS: I understood why itishs have cats!
Lich : Why?
Adamas: found the old disk scratched to death, the computer refused to read.
Adamas: wiped all the towels and other figs - nothing helped
Adamas: the cat's whip - everything read without mistakes, ya fshoke!
Lich: ‘ROFL’ killed...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №10128
 20.09.2008
If female logic is the absence of any logic, then what is male logic? I have a friend dating two girls... recently married one... and the second on 7 months of pregnancy... it was wrong

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №10127
 20.09.2008
Planning is to look at tasks for yesterday and write them down for tomorrow.



According to Pavel Maltsov

Discussion: http://gb.anekdot.ru/gb/362182.html</PRE>

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №10126
 20.09.2008
The Far East, deaf taiga, gold mining search. Search is enough

A large farm, which has its own pork farm.

In the farm, for the maintenance of pork livestock held two chickens. Called

These animals are insatiable: Vaska and Borka. Due to its position

The crustaceans lived in separate divisions, on which the signs of their

by names.

And here the new chief engineer arrived: Boris Vasilyevich.

After he visited the farm, old tablets were placed on the crustacean grounds.

They disappeared, and new ones appeared: "Chrak No. 1" and "Chrak No. 2".

Other than "Cherry No. 2" since then no one has been searching for the chief engineer

I called.



by a) Vasya

Discussion: http://gb.anekdot.ru/gb/362207.html</PRE>

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №10125
 20.09.2008
A man met in a bar with a young but attractive 58-year-old

The lady. We drank a little, we talked, and she said:

Have you ever tried three, with mother and daughter at the same time?

and no.

Would you like?

You are asking! Of course I would like!

You were lucky, you came to me.

They come to her house, the lady opens the door and screams inside:

Mom, are you not sleeping yet?!"



Told by Sergey</PRE>

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №10124
 20.09.2008
Snowmen Denise
I received a letter on Wednesday.

Snowmen Denise
for 1 place from the Department of Education in the Moscow Olympiad in English

Churfi
and cool)

Snowmen Denise
Do you know what I got as a gift?

Snowmen Denise
The book

Snowmen Denise
The Golden Ring of Russia

Snowmen Denise

in German

Churfi
) ) )

Snowmen Denise
fucks

Churfi
Under the table *

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №10123
 20.09.2008
Once it was the case, our office was located in the municipal building, the premises were handed over to the offices (managers, odminers, bosses and all such - the main contingent). Such a building, a former institute, is usually sorted with all the consequences and consequences. The cabin of one of these varieties was repaired with periodicity three times a year with a break of several working days. During one of the smoking, on the door of the cabin, a marker wrote the following example: "I came here twice" and in front of my nick. By the end of the working day, there were three messages on the cabin. Then I was not at work for three days, and when I came, I saw that our sorting turned into such a normal forum with everyday and even avatarks. After the weekend came the cleaner, washed all the messengers and exhibited all the banks.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №10122
 20.09.2008
The writer, my mommy with subtle humor..Yes, and my also the picture is another one..(( Krche went with her to buy me a jacket, after my still to come to us had to be..I stand with my mommy in the store, in which 2 departments (for pregnant women and adults) mirrored just 1 there, and in the shore. department.. I mean a measure jacket in front of the mirror.. calls my, say you where?I say mommy, I measure, go meet you..
Go to the pregnancy department, you’re getting worse.
I haven’t even said anything worse before, but how do you know?
Pizdo for the jacket, I forgot why I was driving after that (((

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №10121
 20.09.2008
A girl is being sought, bitten by a wild animal - an enot - on August 29, 2008 in Genichesk. The animal has rage. The life of the girl is in mortal danger, the press service of the state administration said on Monday.
After the bite, according to witnesses, the unknown man left on a motorbike in the direction of the railway.
Everyone is a girl Pepper. It will become an enema.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №10120
 20.09.2008
A lecture on the history of the modern world. The topic is AIDS. It’s interesting to read, so everyone is listening.
P:...American scientists, relying on statistics, claim that the spread rate of AIDS in Ukraine is so high that if you had 8 or more sexual partners, then you are probably infected.
In total silence from the audience such a confused female:
Oh...

The flow has collapsed.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №10119
 20.09.2008
Black and white photo with views of the water, sunset and silhouette on the shore.
The commentary:
Somebody – sadly...
This is the SSU in Nevada! =) is

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №10118
 20.09.2008
Worked in Eldorado as a seller, came to replace the guy with a point. In total, 10 minutes before the end of the working day, the manager went to smoke and said:
I will smoke and go back.
During his time, two drunk men broke the window, one of them cut off his hand, I was all dirty in his blood, the whole floor in blood, the magnet guard, the guard of the eldorado, two police officers with a machine machine, an ambulance and the director of the store came from above.
You would see the face of the manager coming back from the crawl :-)

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